Writing Advice From My Uni Teachers:

where?

This wouldn't happen to me if i were a huge dragon

we're animals. the meaning of life is sucking and fucking. also food. thats what we were put on this earth to do, make bread and breed twinks. this philosophy shit is so easy

"valley reverie" - sebastian

summary: the timeline of sebastian and the farmer’s relationship based on canon dialogue

pairing: sdv sebastian x farmer

word count: 2.5K

a/n: this may be my magnum opus

The sun was beginning its descent behind the mountains when Sebastian emerged from the house for the first—and only—time that day.

He shot a glance to his mother and Demetrius, who were standing at the edge of their property, looking over the valley bathed in golden light. His mother sent a small smile back, followed by a pointed disappointed look at the carton of cigarettes held loosely in his glance. Demetruis didn’t acknowledge his existence.

Sebastian knew it was a nasty habit, but he spent most of his life with not much thought to the future—he was surprised he made it this far. Maybe his life would have been different if he had planned better; if he had considered for a moment that there was such a thing as life past sixteen, then eighteen, then twenty-one. He supposed he should start to consider a life past twenty-four, but quickly dropped the thought as he placed the cigarette between his lips and continued his stroll to the lake.

He saw it then, as his lighter sparked to life and helped the cigarette take eleven minutes off his.

Someone was sitting in his spot. A humanoid blob of denim focused intently on the bobber floating in the water.

He hesitated, then decided to keep moving—his trajectory now locked in past the stranger and across the rickety planks of wood to the smaller islands in the middle of the lake. His mother had been saying for years that she needed to build something more structurally sound, but had yet to get around to it.

As he got closer, he took in more of the scene. There was a muddy bucket next to the stranger, and he noticed a couple slimy carp flopping around inside. Whoever this was, they clearly didn’t have enough experience to catch the tricker creatures in the lake.

Just as he was about to slip past toward solitude, he locked eyes with the stranger. Their bored expression quickly turned to worry.

“Sorry, am I in your spot? Robin said it was okay for me to fish here.”

Recognition sparked in his brain—his mother had told him about the new resident of Pelican Town. The words she had used to describe them flashed behind his eyes: sweet, a little lost, cute. That last one was sent his way with an exaggerated wink and met with a scoff from him.

“Oh. You just moved in, right? Cool.”

The farmer didn’t respond, just looked on waiting for an answer to their question. Sebastian didn’t gratify them with a response, instead looking across the lake at the tree line and abandoned quarry.

“Out of all the places you could live, you chose Pelican Town?”

The farmer scrunched up their mouth slightly, beginning to reel in their line. There was nothing but a limp worm dangling from the hook. Sebastian took note of the grieving look flashing on their face before it was gone in a blink.

“Better than where I was.”

Sebastian didn’t bother responding as the farmer heaved up the bucket—they were a lot stronger than they looked—and walked away without another word.

Robin smiled at the farmer with a wave and shouted goodnight before sending another disapproving look to her son.

_________________________________________

Sebastian heaved open the door of the house, exhausted from band practice. Sam was his best friend, and he enjoyed spending time with him more than he would admit, but the newest addition to the band was definitely a hindrance.

He didn’t dislike Abigail, and he couldn’t deny that she was a talented drummer, but he had been hoping for years that her little crush on him would fade away. He could only take so much of puppy dog eyes and over exaggerated laughter at his quips that definitely aren’t that funny.

He was so absorbed in his thoughts on how to shake off the purple-haired girl—more importantly, how to shake her off without actual confrontation—that he didn’t notice the farmer leaning against the shop counter until their voice pierced through. His mother was nowhere to be seen, so they had to have been talking to him.

“What? I didn't hear you...I'm busy thinking about something. What do you want?”

The farmer narrowed their eyes at him, leveling him with a glare. “You know, I get that you’d rather be listening to My Chemical Romance and jerking off to Nietzsche than interacting with a human being, but you really need to work on your people skills.”

Well, he hadn’t been expecting that.

He expected avoidance from the farmer, based on their first meeting and subsequent run-ins where they gave him a nod of acknowledgement before going back to acting like he didn’t exist.

He realized that the farmer wasn’t as timid and one-dimensional as he let himself think.

The moment was saved by Robin entering the shop room and dropping a workbench on the floor with a heavy thud. “You’ll make better use of this than I have lately—it’s pretty old,” she looked up from the dusty bench, noticing her son frozen in the doorway, “oh, hi Sebby.”

“Sebby?” the farmer questioned with a smirk.

Sebastian rolled his eyes, brushing past his mother to get to his lair.

“Sorry about him,” he heard his mother as he descended the stairs.

“It’s fine,” the farmer laughed, “he’s cool.”

He couldn’t help the smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. _________________________________________

Sebastian looked down at the frozen tear in his hand with a neutral expression on his face, though his heart was quickening its pace.

“Gunther told me it’s fabled to be the frozen tears of a yeti.”

He met the farmer’s grin with one of his own, “I really love this. How did you know?”

They shrugged, “Seemed like some emo shit you’d be into.”

A breathy laugh escaped him before he could stop it. “Well…thanks.”

“No prob. I’ll keep an eye out for more when I’m in the mines.”

“The mines?,” his brow furrowed, “how far down did you go?”

“Not super deep, I think I stopped at sixty since it was getting late.”

Sebastian gaped at the farmer—who he now realized he really misjudged—as they shouldered their backpack and turned toward the door.

“Oh,” they stopped just shy of the threshold, “your code is wrong, by the way. Third line down.”

He looked to the screen, baffled, seeing that there was, in fact, a mistake in his code.

He began to ask the farmer how they knew that, but they were gone. _________________________________________

The sun was setting on the valley, and Sebastian found himself sitting by the lake’s edge with the farmer, who was reeling in sturgeon and bass with ease.

“I’m sure the city’s different for other people, but it was corporate hell for me,” the farmer spoke softly as they baited their hook—it was different than any bait he had ever seen, and the farmer had informed him that the wild man living behind their house had taught them the recipe.

Sebastian hummed, “I guess that makes sense.”

“You guess?” the farmer teased him, flicking water at his face.

He blew a puff of smoke in their face.

The farmer coughed, then began to laugh as they fanned the smoke out of their face, “asshole.”

Sebastian grinned, leaning back on the palms of his hands and gazing across the water.

They sat in comfortable silence as the farmer cast out their line and half-heartedly focused on the bobber—they didn’t really need it anymore, but liked the safety net.

“You and Sam are probably my only friends in this town.” Sebastian broke the silence, but continued looking straight ahead.

“Well I am very likable.”

Sebastian knocked their shoulders together with a scoff.

“Sure, keep telling yourself that.” _________________________________________

Sebastian was indifferent—and sometimes loathful—toward most events held in their little town, but tonight was an exception. It was hard to not be in awe of the midnight jellies, and he was excited for the farmer to see them for the first time.

They were perched at the edge of the dock, along with Sam and Abigail, their feet dangling inches above the water.

It was a lot colder than expected, and the farmer was bundled in his black jacket. He couldn’t help but feel bad about the sad glances Abigail was sending their way.

The farmer looked content, and Sebastian recalled something they told him at the beginning of the season—the used to be terrified of the ocean before moving to the valley.

He nudged their shoulder with his own. It didn’t take much effort—they were sitting a lot closer than he realized. A light blush dusted his cheekbones.

“I thought I saw something moving in there…” he pointed to the void of the ocean and leaned closer to their ear, whispering, “something big, something dark.”

The farmer’s eyes widened as they looked across the vast darkness before they narrowed and turned to him.

“Just trying to scare you...” Sebastian laughed.

The farmer smiled, knocking their knee against his, muttering an all too familiar “asshole.”

It wasn’t too long before Lewis sent out the first lantern, and the water surrounding the docks was filled with glowing jellyfish.

“It’s beautiful,” the farmer breathed out as their head landed on his shoulder.

“Yeah,” his eyes landed on a glowing green jelly before looking down at the farmer, “it is.” _________________________________________

Sebastian never saw the farm in its full glory—before the farmer’s grandfather grew old and passed away—but he had been there plenty of times when it was overgrown and abandoned.

He had told the farmer this as they sat on the newly installed swinging bench on their porch. They joked that they would be suing him for trespassing, since it was technically their property at the time, even if they hadn’t known it.

It was a chilly fall day, but the farmer had made a pot of coffee to keep them warm.

“I thought this was your busy season,” Sebastian lit up a cigarette and moved the ashtray closer to where he sat. It was a newer addition to the farmer’s decor. He thought about the prideful look on their face as they held it up and told him that Leah let them use her pottery wheel. It was painted with little creatures that looked like the much happier cousins of the slimes living in the caves.

The farmer hummed, holding their mug close to their face, but not taking a sip, “Yeah…a lot busier than I thought it would be, actually.”

He grinned at them, “so, you’re slacking today, huh?”

The farmer laughed.

“I’d rather hang out with your sorry ass than work.” Despite the insult, the farmer’s tone was soft and earnest. Sebastian felt his cheeks heat up.

“Could you picture me living on a farm? It seems ridiculous, but I have been thinking about it lately.”

“If I could do it, then so could you,” the farmer linked their pinky with his, “it’s a lot more freeing than you’d think.” _________________________________________

Boxes filled with Sebastian’s things lined the walls of the farmhouse, but Sebastian and the farmer lay in bed, choosing to ignore them. 

They had all the time in the world.

The farmer was twirling the pendant dangling from Sebastian’s neck, “there’s steam coming out of your ears, Seb,” the farmer giggled and smoothed out the wrinkle between his brows with their finger.

“I’ve just been thinking,” Sebastian turned his attention from the ceiling to the farmer, “The older I get, the less I'm drawn to the city. It had a certain mystique to it, once. But it turns out that was just a romantic fantasy. The city's so busy, so full of people... I don't belong there. I'm a loner.”

A beat.

“Present company excluded, of course.”

The farmer laughed, “Well I would hope so,” they tugged gently on the pendant, pulling him closer, “because you’re stuck with me.” _________________________________________

Sebastian and the farmer had joined his family for dinner, and his mother had shooed them away with one hand as she cooed at the bundle held tightly in her other arm.

The valley was coming to life, but the ghost of a winter chill was in the air. They settled down by the lake despite the cold. It was no longer his spot, but theirs.

The farmer was skipping stones across the lake when he grumbled about how being in that spot made him want a smoke.

“No one’s stopping you,” the farmer laughed.

“I am.”

The farmer still held a loose smile as they raised their eyebrows at him, “oh?”

“I'm trying my best to quit smoking now that we're married…” He avoided their gaze and brushed some mud on the palm of his hand onto his jeans, “I don't wanna die on you. It's a bad habit. I want to have a future together.”

A baby cried in the distance. Sebastian and the farmer smiled at each other. _________________________________________

The farmer was surprised to find Sebastian’s side of the bed empty when they woke up. It wasn’t a rare occasion, as they usually found Sebastian in the kitchen after a restless sleep, but he was nowhere to be found.

They couldn’t help but worry a little bit as they pulled on their boots and opened the screen door. They paused out of instinct to let the dog run out before them only to realize that the dog wasn’t hot on their heels like usual.

They had only gotten two steps onto the porch before a mass of fur and slobber crashed into their legs.

“Oh hello baby,” they cooed down at the dog as it rolled onto its back, breathing heavily out of excitement, “good morning stink.”

“Good morning to you too.”

The farmer was so caught up in giving the dog attention that they hadn’t noticed Sebastian leaning against the porch railing.

They straightened from their crouch, smiling at him as the dog whined from the loss of affection.

“I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I went ahead and fed the animals,” he pushed off the railing and took a few steps forward to fix a rogue piece of the farmer’s hair, “one less thing for you to do.”

“Thanks, Seb,” the farmer said softly, suddenly bashful, “I’m going to check on the pumpkins. Thought I could make some soup tonight if any of them are ripe.”

They took a few steps off the porch, “feel like being a country boy today? Or did you get your fix?”

He smiled, leaning his forearms against the railing, “I'll just watch you from here. I enjoy watching you.” _________________________________________

Sebastian and the farmer found themselves sitting on the porch swing once again. It was a mild summer evening, and he was looking on as a toddler played with the dog in the yard.

He tore his attention away from the rowdy scene in front of him to look at the farmer, who was curled up at his side reading a book. He felt his heart swell.

“This is so different from my old life, but I'm really starting to like it. I feel like I really belong here.”

The farmer looked up from the book in their lap, smiling.

“I don't often show it, but I'm really happy that I'm your husband. Marrying you was the best decision I ever made.”

he can infodump so deep inside me I'll have trivia running down my leg

PATTERN BANNERS | knit.

──────── ⵌ GOLD …

──────── ⵌ MINT …

──────── ⵌ RED …

──────── ⵌ CORAL …

I call this Christmas sweater vibes ;)))) I wanted to make something that looked and felt like sweaters and I think I did it ?! it was fun trying to achieve that ‘knit’ texture haha. learned a few new things and new techniques as well HAHAHH.

this is so so so so out of what I normally do—srsly, patterns ? maximalist patterns ?! who am I ?!

feel free to send / comment colours you’d like to see next for this set ♡

please like, reblog, and credit if you use :)

more dividers →

is this not how the race weekend went ? Part 19/???

NO OTHER PLANET IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM GETS TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSES!! THE SIZE AND DISTANCE OF OUR MOON FROM EARTH AND THE SUN MAKE THE PERFECT CIRCUMSTANCES TO GET TOTALITY!!! THE EARTH AND MOON ARE SOOOO COOL AND OF COURSE OUR SUN!! I LOVE LIVING ON EARTH I LOVE YOU EARTH I LOVE YOUUUUU MOON I LOVE YOU SUN

SubTop!Detective X DomBot!Criminal reader ⁉️⁉️

reader likes to break into detectives home and begs for some action (as usual) after getting an drenaline rush after committing a crime‼️‼️ ENEMIES WITH BENEFITS NATION WHRRR Y @⁉️⁉️🗣️🗣️

subtop!m!detective, dombot!criminal!m!reader,

toxic relationship?! dubcon;groping, hatefucking-ish? degredation. minors, ageless blogs dni

he's in his 30s. a detective? a man who often fights with a damn little punk who's slippery as fuck and gets on his nerves. a deranged, delusional, tatted up brat who makes his life harder. he swore he saw your face todayㅡbut he blames it on lack of sleep. that's all it is. he hasn't seen you in a few days - only hearing about what you're doing in the reports, news anchors, and his associates. you make him sick.

rejecting an invitation to drinks when there's work to be done. work of tracking down some twerp who breaks in and out of his house, rearranging his things, never stealingㅡfucking with him. touching him, playing with him, making him feel ... good,,,

lonely… getting home after a particularly late night… some sad-looking rugged man looking lost, thoughts of a criminal and his dick plaguing his mind. intrusive thoughts about your naked body on his again? despicable.

no lights were on, just how he left it. locking the door behind him and wandering toward the kitchen - messy and cluttered with boxes of files sitting around collecting dust. switching the light to the kitchen onㅡa cup on the counter catching his attention.

how could he be so absentminded? he berates himself, grasping the cup and his expression twitches in surpriseㅡhuh… the cup is cold...! freezing, even. what is this? he gives it a sniff - noticing how it fizzes, bubbling.

of course… some one broke into his house and is drinking his fucking cola of all things? he has no friends, he knows he has no friends that he's close enough with for them to just waltz right in??!! no key to hand out, no parents to be paying him any visitsㅡ

on guard, hand cautiously placed on the pistol holstered on his belt,. ,,, pausing in his steps as nearly misses it - is that a toilet flushing? what the fuck? a masculine grunt matching footsteps stalking closer; emerging from the darkness of his hallway...! the kitchen light illuminating your face. that stupid expression on your face...

his heart beats a little harder against his chest. why isn't he surprised? and why are you sweaty?

“hiii,” you waved, grinning joyfully; shirtless and in pajama pantsㅡ his pajama pants? you look exhausted...

ㅡ“hey, yeah, you really shouldn't leave your windows unlocked, someone could rob you.” you advise smartly, shuffling closer and grabbing the cup, “i didn't know you could be so reckless!” you tut, shaking your head, scolding him? poking him in the shoulder.

oh... you didnt wash your hands. he grimaces.

ㅡ"i could arrest you for breaking and entering," is what comes from his choked up figure, "for - f-for assault, for burglary, for everything you've done." including heartbreak? you leave him after you've milked him dry and he just wants more. hand on his gun, never leaving as he eyes you warily. "right now, i could."

"you wouldn't," comes your voice, utterly sure of yourself as you lean a little closer, excited. humming as you inhale his natural scent. feeling like some little househusband fondling his husband after waiting for him to get home... which is exactly whats happening, isnt it? aha...

gross. body odor. damn, he smells so fucking good... he looks a little sweaty, too - hah. you're making him nervous. you reach out, pressing your fingers to his lips. unwashed dick hands... he splutters as he tilts his head away, instinctively licking his lips.

ㅡ"don't be so sour. don't give me that face - i've missed you too." undiscouraged, your free hand trailing down, grasping his. bringing it to your lips... mwah.

so why havent you come around sooner? he bites back unsaid, glaring at you as his grip on your own hand tightens. he's a lonely man. lonely men are dangerous - not to be trifled with, yet here you are! he rips his hand away, scoffing. placing it on your shoulder and ... feeling your skin underneath... huh.

his hand gripping your shoulder as he tilts his head down. how is it some disgusting person like you gets him going so easily? all you're doing is just... standing there. in his clothes. "... stop staring." the detective mutters, narrowing his eyes at you. he can feel your eyes lurking low. hes flustered. his face is burning hot and he's hard. miraculous, no?

"i can't help it. it's staring at me." you retorted, scowling at him humorously, "i said, i've missed you." you mutter, voice growing a dangerous edge as you push against him, chest to chest. whats wrong with a little foreplay?

there it is... he's so cute. "don't tell me you havent gotten any action the last time we fucked? what, you missed me that much? don't be gay..." you chastise, hand disappearing from view - an electirc shock climbing his spine at the warmth of your hand on his groin. huh. fuck.

ㅡ fuck. that's it. he hates it how you know where everything is. lube, condoms, acting like you own the place. playing with yourself on top of him... isn't this a great way to destress? but... it only makes him more stressed when you leave.

laying him out, giving a little fight as you strip him roughly. he forgets you have muscle. he forgets you can throw him around like a ragdoll. and you forget he can actually arrest you. he eyes you warily, unsure of what to do with his hands as you're hovering above him, naked in all your glory. grimy...

"when's the last time you showered?" you give him a dirty look, eyeing his bare cock warily, making fun of him for the look he was giving you... always, always messing with him. bullying him... he can throw you around too-! no warning as you abruptly handle him, reaching down and grasping his girth slick with a mixture lube and cum, "yuck," you muttered. chest to chest, as you slowly eased down on his length to base, trembling and breathless.

"y-you're ... you're disgusting. fucking disgusting - i can't believe i'm seriously... letting you..." you stop him, irritation strewn across your face as you place your palm over the bottom half of his face. smothering him; making sure he smells your cock on your hands. you're so mean...

"not just letting me..." you hum, cheerfully. naked on top of him, perched on his cock with your own bobbing as you leaned back. you start playing with it - you're so weird.

you know his body so well, what he likes to see, it hurts so bad. he wants more - and he feels a vague sense of guilt. all those one night stands in his twenties... huh is this how they felt when he left them? begging for him... oh, the pain! "you're begging for me. you might not be saying anything, but i can hear you, loud and clear."

not to mention all those nights actually stalking him... laid up in the corner,,, in his closet as he masturbates while repeating your name over and over. watching over him, that's all. he just gets your blood pumping like no other... you couldnt stay away from him very long. always crawling back like he was your confession booth after doing something particularly thrilling.

his lips part, and you slap your hand over his mouth again to keep him from spouting attitude. smearing the sticky, already drying pre over his cheek; hushing him annoyed.

"psh, look at you. you let me undress you, you let me play with your gun, you- you're letting me fuck you. what does that say about you?" you retort, hands on his chest, using him as leverage as you bounce yourself. slow. "you're nasty. letting a dirty degenerate touch you like this? you fucking love it." you scowl, pinching the flesh of his pecs and grinding onto him. clean. "you love it a little too much..."

ㅡhe hisses, hands snapping to grasp your hips and pinch the flesh, jerking upwards, "fuck you. i - i don't love it. i don't. i don't love you." his voice breaking off into a muted whine, throwing his head back against his pillows. he was spouting nonsense. nonsense in order to defend himself from your rapid teasing, but you were making him stupid... just inhaling your natural scent messes with his head.

"... right... i don't love you either." you mutter, eyes narrowed as you hold onto him, squirming as you grope his chest. "do you make all these sounds when you're masturbating, too?" your tone switches, teasing as you lean over, licking his cheek.

you're just... using each other. that's right... for an adrenaline pick-me-up and to curb loneliness. you stay a little longer afterwards. he lays there, still beside you in his own bed. holding your hand when he's sure you're asleep. he could put you away for a long time, you know that? he's selfish. wants you for his own sake.

religious imagery and symbolism.. fitting 🥲

Zoom, the first thing you see is how you die👻

Sexual violence 🥲

@flamingblinglove @birinboom @mylovelyreblogs @demonbanger @devilsrose666 @desi-the-blue-eyed-kakushi @tenko-qai

Annnnnddddd anyone who wants to zoooommmmm in