hooveringthemotherland

Latest Posts by hooveringthemotherland

They should invent arguing with stupid people on the internet that's good for me and not bad for me at all

i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith

nothing more flattering than someone saying "oh don't get her going" in reference to you when a topic you're passionate about is brought up

Sources: Gut, My. Something is Terribly Wrong, vol 136, 2025.

dont tag bible stuff as mythology God isnt mythology

hi hello how are you. most if not all story-based religions are in fact considered mythology by definition including the abrahamic religions. god is in fact abrahamic mythos whether you think he’s real or not. im sorry if that upsets you but im assuming this is regarding the post i just reblogged and i have to say im surprised the part you’re upset about is me tagging biblicalia as mythology and not the entire discussion on who tops in jesus/judas ship discourse

"Vladimir, STOP!" is unfortunately killing me

i'll fucking do it but christ alive

Please PLEASE PLEASE someone tell me if there is a video of my post with Subway Surfers or Minecraft in the background. I need it to know I can die peacefully.

One of the biggest issues of moving to England as a person who is Ukrainian AND neurodivergent is not knowing how to answer the small talk question of "how are you", but today I was reminded that Ukrainian blessed me with the phrase that roughly translates as "living is hard but dying would be a pity" and can we please naturalise it so I can use it all day every day

in a medieval groupchat nobody would make fun of your typo they would just assume that its a new spelling youre going with and roll with it

The same "he". To me

He died doing what he loved. Being fatally injured.

As an Enlightened Centrist, I don’t believe William Shakespeare wrote Shakespeare, nor was it Bacon or Hamm or whoever else.

The true author of Shakespeare was another guy who coincidentally was also born in Stratford-upon-Avon and who was, by a curious twist of fate, also named William Shakespeare.

Okay I'm so sorry for double posting this but I must add the image I accidentally found on a website for "families of persons with BPD" while researching for my Kafka essay

I want to show you an actual training slide from my customer service job that I had to see yesterday.

tv shows used to have episodes....

I debated posting this on here because this sounds SO MUCH like a Tumblr fake story from 2012 that I don't think anyone will believe me but I promise you, before we get into this, that it did happen and not a single person clapped.

One of my origin stories as the person I currently am is going to appeal my results for a English language competition in like 10th grade (of Ukrainian school, so ~15 yo) because most of the marks I was deducted was because of my handwriting (hi undiagnosed dysgraphia) and them being unable to decipher what I wrote. So I come, the examiner and I sit at a desk and go through all my "mistakes", and she goes:

"See? You said "we don't know of it". It should be "about"."

And I swear to you, I went:

"Actually, Shakespeare used "of" in "Hamlet". "And makes us rather bear those ills we have than fly to others that we know not of"."

And then I pulled up the poetry foundation with To Be or Not To Be, showed it to her and she gave me the fucking point, too stunned to speak.

I had learned TBONTB by heart by reading it out loud to myself in the dark in my room at night multiple times in a row because I have always been sane and was never autistic actually.

It's such a loss that I wasn't on Tumblr as a teenager. I was grown in a lab to have a Tumblr blog that I will regret when I'm older.

One of my friends is a piano tuner. Her dream, or at least her parents' dream, was to be a concert pianist. Turns out she liked messing with the mechanisms more than she liked memorizing songs. It also turns out that "decent piano tuner" pays a lot more than "failed concert pianist," which helped convince her parents as well.

In the same way, I don't think there's any shame in being a race car driver's mechanic. Racing is a team effort. Everyone on that team has to contribute as best they can. From the crew chief who remembers things like "what weekend the race is on," to the intern who puts air in the tires of the car-hauling trailer, they can all share in a victory.

Thing is, the media likes a hero. It's hard to do a story about a whole bunch of people doing their job properly. Not much drama in it. They think we want to see a radical, a loner, a real protagonist. Even the TV news likes to ensure the happenings of the world are conveyed to you entirely by a cabal of all-knowing, handsome talking heads. More heroes, selling you the story of other heroes.

Those people don't really exist, and when they do, they're kind of unpleasant because they won't help you with your shit. Race cars need mechanics; concert pianists need tuners; everyone needs somebody.

That's why I've decided to more flagrantly violate the traffic laws. It's only by stretching these laws to their maximum that the lawmakers will truly appreciate the hard work of the dedicated civil servants who anticipated things like not letting me pull my Volare with a bunch of sled dogs. And if I do manage to find something new, they will all get a great opportunity to come together as a team and ban it. No need to thank me; just doing my part.

Followed a Wikipedia source in hopes of finding something useful for my essay about Kafka's Metamorphosis and stumbled upon something much better

Tumblr proceeded to collectively inform me that tomato juice is a thing absolutely everywhere. My question now is how the fuck did I manage to live in the UK for three years and not see tomato juice in a single Tesco/Sainsbury's. Ukrainian exceptionalism goggles or whatever

I mentioned tomato juice in my last post, so here's a tomato juice story for your amusement.

Scene: London, UK.

Time: late 2024.

Dramatis personae:

Me, a Ukrainian, craving tomato juice like it's the only thing that can save my life.

My beloved flatmate, also a Ukrainian, going through a chronic illness flare that causes horrible brain fog.

Flatmate: I'm going to the Polish shop. Do you want anything?

Me: I do have a request, but I feel like you'll refuse to have THAT in our fridge.

Flatmate: ???

Me: Tomato juice. I'm craving tomato juice. I want tomato juice SO BAD.

Flatmate: ...only because I love you.

An hour later, my beloved flatmate enters the kitchen with a bag full of Polish groceries. I salivate at the thought of my tomato juice and run up to them.

Flatmate: Okay so I was picking between spicy and not spicy, and decided that you would want it not spicy. Here.

They proceed to hand me the following:

Me: I mean, I'll give you that, it's not spicy.

Flatmate considers terminating the lease on the spot.

Exeunt.

I mentioned tomato juice in my last post, so here's a tomato juice story for your amusement.

Scene: London, UK.

Time: late 2024.

Dramatis personae:

Me, a Ukrainian, craving tomato juice like it's the only thing that can save my life.

My beloved flatmate, also a Ukrainian, going through a chronic illness flare that causes horrible brain fog.

Flatmate: I'm going to the Polish shop. Do you want anything?

Me: I do have a request, but I feel like you'll refuse to have THAT in our fridge.

Flatmate: ???

Me: Tomato juice. I'm craving tomato juice. I want tomato juice SO BAD.

Flatmate: ...only because I love you.

An hour later, my beloved flatmate enters the kitchen with a bag full of Polish groceries. I salivate at the thought of my tomato juice and run up to them.

Flatmate: Okay so I was picking between spicy and not spicy, and decided that you would want it not spicy. Here.

They proceed to hand me the following:

Me: I mean, I'll give you that, it's not spicy.

Flatmate considers terminating the lease on the spot.

Exeunt.

UPD from the field:

The ad says: "Will you dare to try it?"

Yes. Yes I will. At least two of these.

(It should be noted that tomato juice, spiced or otherwise, is a completely normal occurrence in Ukraine, even though opinions vary on whether people who enjoy it stray farther and farther from God with every sip) (I am those people. I enjoy tomato juice)

Okay so yesterday I saw someone mention that during the two months that I was away they started selling lime and chili flavoured yoghurt back in Ukraine. I repeat, LIME AND CHILI.

Obviously I had to task my boyfriend with acquiring it so that I can try it the moment I step off the train at the end of the month. Also, obviously, I googled it. Here's what I saw:

Okay, sure. Some choices have been made with the colours (I find the purple atrocious but I'm not good with colours so who knows). But wait, the "flamin' hot" banner reminds me of something. Haven't I seen it before?

Yep. I looked it up - Чудо and Doritos are both owned by PepsiCo, and PepsiCo straight up recycled the Flamin' Hot banner.

I really, really don't know what to make of this.

Also as I type this I realised that they also recycled the fucking horrible purple colour. This is torture.

At the end of the month I'm trying the Doritos-flavoured yoghurt, apparently. Watch this space for a review.

Okay so yesterday I saw someone mention that during the two months that I was away they started selling lime and chili flavoured yoghurt back in Ukraine. I repeat, LIME AND CHILI.

Obviously I had to task my boyfriend with acquiring it so that I can try it the moment I step off the train at the end of the month. Also, obviously, I googled it. Here's what I saw:

Okay, sure. Some choices have been made with the colours (I find the purple atrocious but I'm not good with colours so who knows). But wait, the "flamin' hot" banner reminds me of something. Haven't I seen it before?

Yep. I looked it up - Чудо and Doritos are both owned by PepsiCo, and PepsiCo straight up recycled the Flamin' Hot banner.

I really, really don't know what to make of this.

Also as I type this I realised that they also recycled the fucking horrible purple colour. This is torture.

At the end of the month I'm trying the Doritos-flavoured yoghurt, apparently. Watch this space for a review.

Thank you person in the tags for doing what I couldn't, my linguistic prowess only goes so far.

Tumblr seems fond of the Ukrainian "living is hard, dying would be a pity", so here's another part of Ukrainian vernacular that you guys might also like. This one is new and developed in 2022.

I would like to introduce it to you in the following context: it was August 2022, I returned to Ukraine for the first time since evacuating in March and was going through baby's first in a while air raid (in Odesa). I texted my best friend, who never left Kyiv, saying that I'm scared to go to sleep in case I wake up having died of a missile or whatever. She put on her very best Yoda face and bestowed upon me the following:

"1. Їбане так їбане." (Yibane tak yibane).

Now, this is extremely hard to explain, but I will try, to the best of my ability.

So, the basic meaning of it is: "If it strikes, it strikes". However, the verb for "strike" here is derived from the profane root word which basically means "to fuck". So a closer stylistic choice would be, "If it fucks you up, it fucks you up", or "If your ass gets struck, your ass gets struck". This is usually spoken before the person decides to ignore the air raid, set aside the feeling of impending doom and go to sleep.

That wasn't the end:

"2. І взагалі навряд чи їбане. (But in general it probably won't.)

3. Але якщо їбане - так їбане. (But if it strikes, then it strikes)."

That night I slept like a baby and didn't, in fact, wake up dead.

So if you are currently dealing with the impending doom around horrors you have no control over, take the wisdom of Ukrainians who have been grappling with horrors beyond comprehension for over three years now (some longer):

Їбане так їбане.

І взагалі навряд чи їбане.

Go to sleep.

Tumblr seems fond of the Ukrainian "living is hard, dying would be a pity", so here's another part of Ukrainian vernacular that you guys might also like. This one is new and developed in 2022.

I would like to introduce it to you in the following context: it was August 2022, I returned to Ukraine for the first time since evacuating in March and was going through baby's first in a while air raid (in Odesa). I texted my best friend, who never left Kyiv, saying that I'm scared to go to sleep in case I wake up having died of a missile or whatever. She put on her very best Yoda face and bestowed upon me the following:

"1. Їбане так їбане." (Yibane tak yibane).

Now, this is extremely hard to explain, but I will try, to the best of my ability.

So, the basic meaning of it is: "If it strikes, it strikes". However, the verb for "strike" here is derived from the profane root word which basically means "to fuck". So a closer stylistic choice would be, "If it fucks you up, it fucks you up", or "If your ass gets struck, your ass gets struck". This is usually spoken before the person decides to ignore the air raid, set aside the feeling of impending doom and go to sleep.

That wasn't the end:

"2. І взагалі навряд чи їбане. (But in general it probably won't.)

3. Але якщо їбане - так їбане. (But if it strikes, then it strikes)."

That night I slept like a baby and didn't, in fact, wake up dead.

So if you are currently dealing with the impending doom around horrors you have no control over, take the wisdom of Ukrainians who have been grappling with horrors beyond comprehension for over three years now (some longer):

Їбане так їбане.

І взагалі навряд чи їбане.

Go to sleep.

I am going to [remembers that jokes about suicide are detrimental to myself and others] Scarborough Fair.

Yes yes I know this too shall pass but christ alive man it's passing like a gotdamn kidney stone

my body is a machine that turns moving into clickity-clackity

Why are Russia and China so big? Don't worry about it, that just happened during the big bang. They just spawned like that dude. Colonization only happens with America or something. Don't worry about it.