I Need To Stop Imagining Scenarios In My Head That Have A -2% Chance Of Actually Happening It’s Becoming

gay culture is. 

i hate that i’m so absent as a person. i don’t start conversations. i can barely maintain them. i’m so weary and spaced out all the time to the point where i can’t even keep up small talk and i’m just so disappointed in myself

It secretly terrifies me that I have no solid personality or identity. If you asked me who I am I could only give you a name and age. My identity is fragmented and prone to shattering under pressure. I have no idea who I am, but I know each of my created personalities very well, it’s like being 50 people all at once and nobody at all at the same time. I’m an empty body with a mind that’s overflowing.

Parents.

They are the most wonderful people to your eyes and seeing them sad, anxious, stressed out, powerless and disappointed because of your behaviour, makes everything even worse.

The first lie

She would brush out my hair

and tug hard at the knots

When I cried

she would look me straight in the eyes

exasperated

she’d say

It doesn’t hurt.