Hey, The ACLU Is Getting People To Send Letters To Your Reps To Have Congress Pass The No Kings Act.

At least it’s not a brick

@out-of-context-batfam

meirl

reminder that this blog, while not politically focused, supports BLM. bootlickers and racists aren’t welcome here, and never will be.

but on the real though, here is your guide to assyrian rice preparation from your friendly neighborhood assyrian:

start wanting rice. (or, if you are traditional, simply recognize your constant desire for rice.)

measure out two cups of rice. then one more. then two more. then another. this seems fine. you love rice. there is no way that this will backfire on you.

remember that your great-great-uncle’s recipe says it should be soaked overnight.

become consumed with despair.

decide to soak it for half an hour instead, acknowledging that the final product will be inferior and anger your ancestors but will still satisfy your now almost-overwhelming need for rice to be inside your body much faster.

remember that you should have set the water to boil when you soaked the rice. goddammit. 

once the water boils, put the rice in until it is half-cooked. the eyeballing or intuitive method is less effective than a timer but that’s how your aunt does it so you feel compelled to meet her standards.

now that the rice has fluffed up, realize how much rice six dry cups really is. holy shit. you’ve fucked up immeasurably. 

take a minute to dwell upon your failings.

grease a baking dish with butter. this will never be as elegant as you want it to and your fingers will get greasy, but the slightly shameful, self-indulgent joy of licking your fingers afterwards will make up for it.

pour the rice into the dish. wonder immediately if you actually buttered the dish beforehand and if you’ve just fucked up. 

melt approximately one thousand pounds of butter in the microwave and pour it over the rice, pondering your imminent death from rapid-onset arterial clogging. put a small pat of butter on the top to properly gild the lily.

put your pan into the oven, which you have absolutely preheated after your previous lack of foresight. shake the rice once or twice while it bakes to make sure the butter is well distributed. resist the impulse to climb into the oven with the rice. for the last ten minutes, sit next to the oven and count the seconds until it’s done.

remove the dish from the oven. shed a tear or two at the perfection laid before you. if you are dining with others, this is the time to serve the rice while making passive-aggressive statements about how oh no, you don’t need any help, you just made dinner all by yourself, you can serve everyone as well. (this is still fun if done alone, but optional.)

CONSUME THE RICE.

realize that you have eaten half of the dish in one sitting. no matter how much rice you made, this will always happen. 

put the leftovers away, if there are any, and enjoy a cup of chai while marveling at the amount of food you have just eaten. if possible, fall asleep in an armchair, sitting up, head tilted slightly back, like a grandpa.

for the rest of the evening, think fondly of how much rice you have in the fridge now and how many meals it will supplement, refusing to acknowledge that you will almost certainly eat the rest of it in a few hours for a midnight meal.

Text: Sometimes in the dead of night on the way to the kitchen for a glass of water, I see an extra door in the hallway, black and imposing. 

If ur having a rough day

I like to imagine that as he gets older, Riz stress bakes. Especially when he's stuck on a case, he pulls out a cookbook and starts making cookies and muffins and cakes. He like measuring out the precise amounts and having control over something and getting things to come out perfectly every time (because baking is a science) helps relax him from spiraling. He learned from Adaine. She learned from Jawbone and since Riz refuses to seek therapy, Adaine passes along Jawbone's tips in her own secret way to make sure Riz doesn't go crazy. So when the Bad Kids suddenly get a knock ont he door only to find plate after plate of baked good wrapped in plastic sitting on their porch they know someone needs to go do a wellness check on Riz.

girl who loves her friends so much but is so bad and awful at messaging them back for some reason even though she really really wants to talk to them

IDK I was drawing a lot for more AU noodling with @dullgecko and in the BIG AU DOC we have Riz and Fabian having kids together, and anyway this is them I was in another baby goblins mood. I say baby but they're like 5 and 7 here. Still. Baby.

I know a lot of you guys don’t want to reblog those posts about the wildfires in Greece because they’re too long, so I figured I would make a shorter post for y’all. 

Here is a link on how to help and what the current situations are, and here is a direct link to the fundraiser.

As someone who has personally been affected by fire, I would really appreciate if y’all could sb this??