What Could Have Been

pre-shift vibes

why have i never thought of pitfighter cait ???

credit . think i just busted .

A revision of Ekko and Jinx’s ending because I think we all know they deserved to be together:

Ekko stood amidst the ruins of what once was, the matchstick trembling in his fingers. He stared at the paper—a ghost of the girl he used to know, the girl he had lost. Jinx. Gone. He’d told himself he’d moved on, but it was a lie. He hadn’t. He couldn’t.

The flame consumed the edge of the paper, curling it inward. The drawing burned slowly, and for a moment, it felt like everything burned with it—his memories, his hope, his guilt.

As the embers died and he let the ashes drift from his palm, a voice, soft and unnervingly familiar, pierced the stillness.

"That’s not how you should say goodbye to someone."

Ekko froze, his breath catching. His blood turned to ice, then fire, as he whirled around. She stood there, bathed in the dim light of the city’s chaos, her hair wild and vivid, her expression caught somewhere between a smirk and sorrow.

“Jinx?” he breathed, disbelief cracking his voice.

Her eyes, that eerie, unnatural pink, softened for just a second. “The one and only.”

For a moment, he could only stare, his heart pounding against his ribs. Every emotion he’d buried clawed its way to the surface—grief, rage, joy, confusion. He stepped closer, his hands clenching and unclenching. “You’re alive?” His voice was barely above a whisper. “Vi said—she told me you were dead.”

“She needed to think that,” Jinx replied, her voice quiet, almost fragile. “It had to stay that way. For her. For everyone.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!” Ekko snapped, anger flashing in his eyes. “She thinks she failed you! She thinks you’re gone because of her. Hell, I—” He broke off, running a hand through his hair. “You let us believe you were dead? Why?”

Jinx’s gaze flickered, her smile fading. “Because I couldn’t stay. Not after everything. Not after Silco. Powder died a long time ago, Ekko. And Jinx... Jinx doesn’t fit in their world. She never did.”

“That’s bullshit!” Ekko shot back, his voice breaking. “You could’ve come back. We would’ve found a way.”

She shook her head, her laugh bitter and sharp. “No, you wouldn’t. You all deserve to be happy. Vi, Cait, you... You deserve a future without me screwing it up.” Her voice wavered as she added, “You’re better without me.”

Ekko stared at her, his chest tightening. “You think disappearing fixes anything? You think leaving makes it hurt less? You don’t get to decide that for us, Jinx!”

Her breath hitched, and for a second, the mask cracked. “I had to. Don’t you get it? I destroy everything I touch. Vi... Silco... even you, Ekko. The last thing I wanted was to ruin you too.”

“You didn’t ruin me,” he said, his voice dropping, softer now. “You’re not a bomb waiting to go off, Jinx. You’re—you’re just hurt. And maybe we all failed you, but that doesn’t mean you had to run.”

The words hung heavy between them, both of them locked in the weight of their shared history. She shifted uncomfortably, wrapping her arms around herself like she was bracing for impact. “I didn’t run. I left so you wouldn’t have to watch me fall apart.”

Ekko stepped closer, his voice a raw whisper. “I would’ve stayed. I would’ve fought for you. I—I still would.”

Jinx’s eyes flickered up to meet his, something trembling and uncertain in her gaze. “You’re an idiot, Ekko.”

“Yeah,” he said, his lips quirking into a sad smile. “Guess I always was when it came to you.”

She looked down, her voice cracking. “You shouldn’t have to carry me anymore.”

“I’m not letting you go,” Ekko said firmly. “Not again.”

For a moment, she didn’t move, didn’t speak. And then, slowly, her arms dropped to her sides, and she stepped forward, closing the space between them. Ekko felt her hands curl into the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer. He wrapped his arms around her instinctively, holding her tight, like if he let go, she’d vanish all over again.

“I missed you,” she whispered into his shoulder. “More than anything.”

He swallowed hard, his voice shaking. “You don’t get to say that and walk away again, Jinx. You don’t.”

She pulled back, just enough to look at him, her fingers brushing his cheek. “I can’t stay here, Ekko. Not in Zaun. Not with everything I’ve done.”

“Then I’m coming with you.”

Her eyes widened, panic flickering across her face. “Ekko—no. This is my mess.”

“I don’t care,” he interrupted, his voice steady. “I’m not losing you again. Wherever you’re going, I’m going too.”

Jinx hesitated, her breath hitching. For once, the chaos in her eyes seemed to still. “You’d really leave everything behind? The Firelights? Zaun?”

“You’re worth it,” he said simply.

For a moment, all she could do was stare at him. And then, slowly, her lips quirked into a fragile smile, and she leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his.

“You’re so stupid, Little Man,” she murmured.

“And you’re still impossible,” he replied, a faint chuckle breaking through the tension.

She kissed him then, fierce and messy and desperate, like it was both a promise and an apology. When they broke apart, her hand lingered on his cheek, her thumb brushing his skin.

“Okay,” she whispered. “Let’s go.”

And together, they turned toward the shadows, leaving the ruins of their past behind.

arcane act 3 spoilers

my (depressing) headcannon is that sevika wouldn’t react after finding out about isha and jinx’s death.

she keeps on working through as zaun’s representative on piltover’s council and navigates her days like any other. like nothing’s wrong.

until like a week afterwards where the most minor inconvenience happens at her place— could be she drops her plate of food or there’s a loose screw in her mechanical arm. and it causes her to break down into heavy sobs alone in the middle of her living room.

When I finally shift and realise how real it is even though I already know how real it is

“shifting showed me the will to live a thousand lives, when i didn’t even have the strength to live one.”

EMMMAAA!!!!!

i had enough , i won't be able to go on tumblr for some time now so...pls give me only one or even severals steps to make me shift tonight ! no matter what , but real steps tho! i won't find any excuses and i'll do it ! but pls help me !!! i need a method anything , something for my brain to stop being trapped in this long shut door reality ,i'll do it tonight and whatever i think or whatever rotten mentality i have i'll do it anyways !!!!!

hope ur gonna see this message , i need it , my soul need it , i have to move on and.....i know you'll be able to help me !

alright. no overthinking. no waiting for the stars to align. you’re shifting tonight. here’s how:

DECIDE : not “i hope i shift” or “i’ll try.” you’re going. shift or die mentality. burn the boats, no way back.

LAY DOWN & RELAX : whatever position you want. body loose, mind sharp. feel like you’re already there. no effort, no stress. just knowing.

MENTALLY STEP OUT : imagine standing up, leaving this reality like you’re walking out of a bad party. you don’t question it. you don’t second-guess. you GO.

SEE IT. FEEL IT : don’t force it. just let it happen. feel your new reality like muscle memory. the air, the clothes, the way your body moves there. it’s not “what if,” it’s done.

LET GO : no desperation, no doubts. shifting is like falling asleep. too much effort keeps you awake. trust the process, surrender to it.

that's it. no more thinking. no more waiting. you already shifted. now go catch up to yourself.

Always a dance with you.

Beginner’s Guide to Hellenic Polytheism

I KNOW this is a really long post but my intention was to just note down everything that I think is important for beginners and that’s A LOT. It took me forever to learn some of these things but they’re so important, so buckle in. I hope this helps some people.

If I’ve missed anything, please feel free to let me know what you’d like me to add. I’ve been working on this for two days, so if there are typos, I’m so sorry.

The sections I cover here are key terms, mythic literalism, deity work vs deity worship, FAQs and General Advice.

Some Key Terms

Hellenic Polytheism: Hellenic means Greek, and Polytheism means worshipping multiple gods. So, Hellenic Polytheism is the worship of the Greek Pantheon which is also referred to as the Theoi. The people who practice could be referred to as Hellenic Polytheists. Some also call themselves Hellenic Pagans, but not all people who practice Hellenic Polytheism consider themselves pagan.

Hellenistic: you may see the term ‘Hellenistic Polytheism’, but this is my PSA to ask people not to use that, as it’s incorrect. Hellenistic refers to a specific period of Andient Greece, from 323-32 BC, and your worship is almost definitely not specifically focused on that period. Additionally, here is a post by a Greek person on why ‘Hellenism’ and ‘hellenismos’ are disrespectful.

Ouranic: this is the term for the heavenly gods. Be aware that there is some overlap between Ouranic and Chthonic deities. Whether a deity is Ouranic or Chthonic will effect things like prayer position (palms up for Ouranic) and whether offerings can be eaten or drank (yes for Ouranic)

Chthonic: this is the term for the underworld gods. Be aware that there is some overlap between Ouranic and Chthonic deities. Whether a deity is Ouranic or Chthonic will effect things like prayer position (palms down for Chthonic) and whether offerings can be eaten or drank (no for Chthonic) side note - when it comes to hero worship, I personally treat them as if they’re chthonic.

Kharis: this means reciprocity, and also refers to the relationship formed between us and the gods. Arguably the most important aspect of Hellenic Polytheism is that when you ask something of a deity, you must give an offering in return. Size of what you’re asking for should correspond to size of the offering, or if you’ve given many little offerings without asking for anything you can use that as why you should be given the Big Thing.

Xenia: guest-friendship, hospitality. The idea that any stranger could be a God in disguise, so treat everyone respectfully. It’s an Ancient Greek social custom that a lot of Hellenic Polytheists see as important today. Simply put, in modern times this most often just means being kind to strangers. There’s a lot more to it than that though, so look here. Know that Xenia is a two-way thing, so you have to be generous to your guests but they must also respect your home.

Eusebeia: basically, piety. Respecting the Gods. This is really the only ‘rule’ of Hellenic polytheism. There’ll be different ideas of what is considered respectful, but as long as you have good intentions and don’t do anything you KNOW would be offensive, you’re okay. Don’t insult the gods (any of them), don’t ask for anything without offering something else, and don’t treat yourself as equal to or higher than the theoi.

Hubris: excessive pride or dangerous overconfidence, often the fatal flaw of a lot of Greek heroes in mythology. Specifically, this is when you act better than or equal to the gods. You are not.

Libations: a type of offering, in the form of a liquid. Usually poured on the ground but can be drank (unless it’s to a chthonic deity) if you’re a closeted Hellenic polytheist who can’t just pour some liquid on the floor every time you want to offer it. My advice for food offerings/libations to chthonic deities if you’re not openly a hellenist is to offer leftovers, rotting food, or something you otherwise know will go to waste.

Altar: traditionally a place used to put physical offerings and food offerings for deities. Some people have an altar to each deity, some people have one altar for all their deities. These can be as big or as small as you want. People may use shelves, drawers, boxes, windowsills, etc, and I don’t even use mine for food offerings, only for physical ones because I usually eat the food offering (I don’t like the idea of wasting food). My altars also just serve as a dedicated space for that deity in my life.

Hero worship: this is the worship of ‘heroes’ in Greek mythology, which includes literally any mortal. For example, I worship Odysseus of Ithaca, Penelope of Ithaca, Helen of Sparta, and Tiresias of Thebes. I’ve been asked a lot about how hero worship differs from deity worship, and you can find that answer here.

Devotee: there is a lot of disagreement on what the difference between a devotee and worshipper is, but for me, I’m devoted to Athena as I feel I have the closest bond with Her of all my deities and I honour Her the most. This partly comes from my feeling that She has been with me for much longer than I’ve been aware of Her presence, and that also so much of who I am and what I value comes under Her domains.

Patron: this basically means that if part of your identity comes under the domain of a deity, then that deity is your patron. There can be occupational patrons (like Hermes is the patron of merchants) or to do with things like gender (Hera is a patron for women. Yes this includes trans women, transphobes are not welcome here.) You can have more than one patron, and you don’t need to worship all of the deities who would be considered your patron.

Epithets: these are titles given to deities. There are two types - cult epithets, which describe the aspect of a deity you’re focusing on (like Athena Ageleia, meaning ‘Protector of the People’) since they have a lot of domains and it’s important in prayers to specify what you want. Then there’s poetic epithets, which are adjectives, often used to compliment a deity. I like using these to make my prayers seem more sophisticated to be honest (example: white-armed Hera)

Unverified Personal Gnosis: gnosis is spiritual knowledge. If it’s unverified, that means that it has no basis in historical sources as far as the person is aware, and they don’t know anybody else who has the same experience. You will often see this abbreviated as UPG. Personally, I think UPG is really valid, considering a lot of things are unknown to us due to the loss of sources overtime.

Shared Personal Gnosis: gnosis is spiritual knowledge. Like UPG, Shared Personal Gnosis (often abbreviated as SPG) doesn’t have any historical backing as far as the people who believe it are aware, but it is shared by multiple different people and therefore seen by some as more valid than UPG (though I’d argue that all SPG is UPG before you know that other people agree)

Verified Personal Gnosis: gnosis is spiritual knowledge. It being verified means that there are historical sources to back up the belief, and this is commonly abbreviated to VPG. You are more likely to come across the terms UPG than SPG or VPG, and most of what Helpol people on tumblr discuss is UPG, even if they don’t state that directly.

Reconstructionist: these are people who try to ‘reconstruct’ the ancient religion, recreating ancient rituals as best they can and doing things as close as they can get to how the ancient Greeks did based on our historical sources. An important note here is that we will never be able to do this perfectly and that’s okay. When it comes to things like animal sacrifices, most of us outside of agricultural areas almost definitely don’t have the means to be doing that properly, but you can use symbolism in place of a real animal, an example an anon gave me is cutting bread into animal shapes

Revivalist: these are people who try to recreate the ‘spirit’ of the religion, though not with the exact practices that the Ancient Greeks used. Revivalists are more concerned with the values and beliefs of the ancient religion than they necessarily are with how it was practiced. I personally feel like I fall somewhere between the two, but I also think both are really valid!

Mythic Literalism

Mythic Literalism is the debate in modern Hellenic Polytheism about whether or not the myths should be taken literally — and it’s common in Helpol spades online to say that the answer is ‘no, they’re metaphorical’. But I’d actually argue that they are.

Think of the Epics like the Iliad and the Odyssey — these begin with invoking the muses, goddess of inspiration said to have perfect memory. These goddesses know every event that has ever happened and are believed to guide and speak through the poets as they recite the myths, which means that they would be reciting history. That suggests the myths happened.

This isn’t ignoring the fact there are cultural reasons behind the myths and that parts of exist to them fulfil specific functions of that god or have parts of the world that they’re trying to explain.

For example, the myth of Hades kidnapping Persephone fulfils an aspect of Hades and has a cultural aspect about marriage in Ancient Greek society. First, it’s one of the myths we have of a youth being taken too soon by death (think Apollo and Hyacinthus, Zeus and Ganymedes, Thetis and Achilles, maybe even Castor and Pollux) and the grief that causes, Hades role being of the underworld. But also in terms of Greek society it was reflective of mothers losing their daughters to marriage, too. Both these things coexist in the ‘meaning’ of the myth; but just because it has metaphors, doesn’t mean it wasn’t believed to have happened. The Greeks did view their myths as having happened.

Zeus has so many children and so many affairs and rape myths, not because it’s just a metaphor and he didn’t actually do any of that, but because he’s a male fertility god, and he’s the god of kinds, and kings do abuse their power.

The Greek gods exist as how the world is, not how we want it to be or how it should be. Take Hera, for example — she doesn’t align with the passive and idealised wives described in things like Xenophon’s Economics, but is instead how women are. Real women get angry when their husbands are awful to them, so Hera, Goddess of Women, can be angry.

It’s good to learn the ways in which these deities were understood and what their domains can represent. Myths also help us to feel more familiar with our deities. Additionally the myths tell us not to be hubristic, and things like the Iliad tell us about Oaths and Offerings and Xenia. These are important parts of helpol.

I understand the want to disregard some of the more distasteful myths that depict things not only distasteful now but that would’ve even been viewed as wrong IN antiquity. But the Greek gods are not supposed to be perfect by human standards of morals. They have good and bad aspects based on their domains.

Deity Work vs Deity Worship

I’m going to preface this section by saying that I worship deities, I don’t work with them, so even though I’m doing research on this please take everything I say about deity work with a grain of salt and note that the rest of this post might apply more to worship, because that’s what I’m familiar with. Lastly, my intention here is not to place a value judgement on either type, I just want to try and make a full explanation for anyone out there looking for one, since I’ve found it to be kind of difficult to find.

From my understanding, deity work is common among witches, and usually involves asking a deity to help with your spells or other forms of magick. When you work with a deity, you are asking them to mentor you in a sense, and there’s often a specific goal in mind that they’re hoping to achieve with help of the deity. Additionally, because of that goal-oriented relationship, deity work has deadlines(?). Like, once you’ve achieved the goal you had, the deity will stop working with you

There are similarities, as both seem to involve reciprocity and offerings, and both involve cultivating a relationship with deities, even if the nature of that relationship and the reason for offering is different.

Deity worship doesn’t have a set end-goal. You CAN stop actively worshipping a deity, but this doesn’t usually come after a specific goal is achieved because there isn’t a goal in mind. Worship is more about honouring the deity. Khakis is built out of admiration, respect and love for the deity. This is why we pray, make offerings, etc. it’s all to honour the gods. We do ask for things in deity worship, but that’s not the entire point like it is for deity work.

FAQs

Do I need to be called to worship/work with a deity?

Nope! You are 100% allowed to reach out first. You can do that by praying or making an offering. Remember to research the deity first, so you know what epithets to use, know what symbols they’re associated with, have ideas for offerings, etc. Also, if a deity calls to you, you are not obligated to worship them. Acknowledge them and move on if you don’t have time, energy, or interest in worshipping them at that time.

Where can I find information on deities?

The main site that I think everyone uses is theoi.com, which has really in-depth pages on a lot of deities, with their myths, lists of epithets, family trees, etc. it’s a really useful resource!

Do I need an altar?

No. They’re nice to have but you don’t need one straight away. It took me two years of worshipping to get any altars, and even now I don’t really use them how you’re ‘supposed’ to.

Are there any sins in Hellenic Polytheism?

No, just don’t disrespect a god (don’t disrespect any of them, even the ones you don’t worship should be respected). Also don’t show hubris.

Deity X and Deity Y don’t get along, but I want to worship both, what do I do?

Disregard mythic literalism and remember this is a polytheistic religion. The gods know they are not the only god you will be worshipping, and they are chill with that. If you really want, you can separate their altars if you have an altar per deity, but it’s up to you completely.

Other General Advices

This post is a starting point, nothing here is very in-depth. Do more research if anything on here is still confusing to you. Feel free to ask people here on tumblr, I’m sure most of us would be happy to help.

Don’t believe everything you see on tiktok/tumblr. We’re all still learning, a lot of us are wrong about stuff. Do other research and let yourself form your own beliefs. As I’ve said, even parts of this post should be taken with a grain of salt. I’m no expert, I just want to try to help.

If you’re going to make your own posts about helpol stuff, advice I’ve seen before that really stuck with me is ‘keep some things scared’. You don’t have to post everything. I, at the moment, don’t post my prayers or photos of my altars. Those things are what I keep scared, you should have your own things. They don’t have to be the same as mine.

You have nothing to be afraid of. The gods can be intimidating when you’re starting out, but they know we don’t have as much readily available information about this stuff as the ancient greeks did. They also know you’re new, and they will be patient with you. Don’t be scared.

You can offer anything. Digital offerings are as valid as physical offerings. Devotional acts are valid too.

Know that you will never be done learning. Accept this and commit to trying to learn anyway.

Know how to tell signs from the gods apart from just General Happenings of the world. Here is a good post on that. I have a series on my blog tagged #signs from deities, to show the kinds of things I personally recognise to be signs and to show how frequently/infrequently those can occur. I would suggest keeping your own record of those, whether or not you share it is up to you. The reason is to reflect on your journey and, if you ever doubt your gods, you can look at those lists to remind yourself of how they’ve been there for you previously.

Doubt is healthy, it’s okay to doubt things. Don’t feel bad for this, the gods understand. Let yourself question everything you feel the need to question.

Similarly, anger is healthy. It’s okay to be angry at the gods, but don’t disrespect them because you’re upset. Handle your anger well. You won’t get punished for being upset.

The Hellenic Gods aren’t generally believed to be all-knowing, however it is believed that they can hear us when we call their names, which is why prayers start with invocation of a deity’s name and an epithet.

✶ things i learned from shifting. . . as someone who's shifted.

i , the hardest part is pretending it's hard : shifting is not a herculean task. it's not climbing everest barefoot or decoding the voynich manuscript. it's deciding you're done with the mundane and stepping into the divine. every time you say, "i can't shift," you're just playing a trick on yourself. a bit like insisting you don't know how to breathe until someone reminds you. (spoiler: you do.)

ii , time is a house of mirrors :  when you shift, you're not "leaving" this reality. you're just walking down another hallway. it feels linear until you turn, and suddenly you're face-to-face with yourself, or a version of you that's holding a cat and wearing thigh-high boots. time is bendy. it's pliable. it's like clay, in a way. it's an obedient servant if you tell it to be.

iii , belief is your first-class ticket :  you don’t need a spell, a potion, or a seven-step guide. you just need belief. conviction is the real magic here. call it delusion if you like. i call it decisive manifesting. and trust me, i've shifted while feeling like a hollow shell of a human. belief doesn’t have to roar.

iv , you can't outrun yourself : shift all you want, but the core of you, the you that laughs too hard, cries too often, and loves too much, comes along for the ride. your dr self isn’t some perfect barbie doll version of you. they're you, but in technicolour. the grass is greener, but you're still the one who's walking barefoot on it.

v , failing is still shifting :  every attempt you call a failure is still a step closer to mastering it. you don’t beat yourself up for dreaming weird dreams, do you? so why do it here? your mind’s just warming up, stretching its muscles. let it stumble. even if you "fail," you’re still playing the game, and that counts.

vi , nothing is as serious as it seems :  shifting is playful, silly, camp. you’re choosing realities where you’re a pureblood gryffindor or dating a young peter parker!! have fun with it. get deranged. be the girl who giggles when thinking about her dr instead of sulking. make it ridiculous and extravagant. you’re literally bending reality to your will. why not make it a soap opera?

vii , you’re never ‘too much' : the universe doesn’t care if you want to rule a kingdom or live quietly in a cottage by the sea. your desires are never too loud, too big, or too weird. you are expansive. your mind was built for this. ask for it all, then ask for more.

viii , shifting is a love letter to yourself :  it’s saying, "i believe in you," over and over, in different fonts, languages, and realities. it’s the grandest way to love yourself, to say you deserve the universe and every parallel one, too.

ix , reality is a suggestion, not a rule :  the same way you decide to wear eyeliner and not cry in it, you decide what’s real. you decide the boundaries, the limits, the laws. shift as easily as you breathe because that’s what it is: life, but on your terms.

x , trust the multiverse, and trust yourself :  the multiverse knows what it’s doing, but so do you. trust that you’re aligned with everything you’re seeking and that everything you’re seeking is also seeking you. it’s not just about waiting for the stars to align. . . it’s about knowing that you are the one aligning them. believe that the shift is already happening, because it is. all you have to do is show up for it.

now, stop doubting and go.