Run2u |stayc|
cant even enjoy my somno kink. because of woke
sickens me to my stomach. how dare this guy get to live my dream.
Found this in a plant catalog and couldn’t stop laughing
saw a theory that the SmokeStack twins were posing as one man in Chicago, which helped them get away with stealing from both sides. i'm poised to believe that because visually their clothing was very clearly of the two mobs. smoke was full irish— tweed, bowler hat. while stack had the full mafia look. yk italian leather shoes, fedora etc etc . like the details!!
you ever think about the intricacies of smoke & stack's dynamic and go fucking crazy?
their abusive father zeroing in on stack as the outlet for his beatings, smoke killing their daddy, half way done burying him by the time stack came to - smoke being the BIG BROTHER from the start, keeping stack safe - stack becoming who he is - bit reckless, full of charisma and whimsy because of smoke, in a way, shielding him from the world ("doesn't know how to watch his own back").
thinking of smoke saying how stack is the best thing about him, how stack talks a big game but how it's smoke who kills the snake, smoke who shoots two men for stealing out of his truck, smoke who pulls a gun on sammie and pearline. does he ever think he got more of their daddy in him than stack? where stack can connect with people in a way smoke can't quite follow. stack laying out clothes for him, doing his hair, rolling his cigarettes- giving smoke back some of what the war took.
but I also can't help but think that there is this slight ....almost paternalistic element at times - the way stack looks around for smoke when he's with mary, worried he'll be caught, worried he'll displease him and yet that thing he says when he's turned "don't let that witch come between us again" - there's no doubt that stack loves annie and is clearly DISTRAUGHT when smoke kills her but ...was there ever resentment? did he ever feel betrayed? was it ever only meant to be the two of them against the world?
"he was the best thing about me" "i ain't doing it without you there ain't no me without you" "sorry for not keeping you safe - you always did" the way stack is just that one person smoke can't kill, the way the only time he wavers in his resolve is when his vampire brother talks with him.
(this is borderline incoherent but I have a lot of thoughts)
The Garden of Earthly Delights, Hieronymus Bosch, 1490 - 1500
Feel My Rhythm MV, Red Velvet, 2022
it disturbs me that a significant number of people think that the issue with sexual violence, gendered violence, and misogyny is sexual desire rather than dehumanization, so they are relentlessly suspicious of others' (and their own) desires while simultaneously never at all interrogating others' (and their own) dehumanizing beliefs about other people, both within and outside of sexual contexts
"Hearts not parts!" > everyone else only cares about their partner's genitals, making me more virtuous
"Pansexual means I'm attracted to trans people too!" > no one else could ever love a trans person because they're a special Other category that you need to include instead of just being men and women
"I'm more comfortable with the term pansexual." > I don't give a shit about the history of the term pansexual and I am actively trying to erase bisexual history. I spout transphobic and biphobic bigotry disguised as "wokeness" and I don't even realize it, or if I do, I simply don't care. I value the warm, fuzzy feeling I get more than the history and goals of LGBT people and what they have fought for decades to accomplish.
"I don't see gender." > I am making an effort to ignore something that is pretty integral to a person's identity.
"I need to get to know someone before I have sex with them." > I think I am Unique and Special. I am more pure than those filthy, sex crazed bisexuals who will sleep with anyone. I am incapable of comprehending that most normal people desire emotional connection to a person they're sleeping with.
"I identify as pansexual." > I am no different from someone who is bisexual, except that I'm more special because my internalized biphobia makes me think bisexuals are icky.
"Let people identify however they want!" > I have not thought critically about the impact of this because I don't care about anything beyond my immediate surroundings.
"It's not hurting anyone." > I have likely read many accounts from people who have been hurt by my label, but I am choosing to ignore that because thinking critically about it makes me uncomfortable.
"Pan means all and bi means two." > I'm not clever enough to realize that there are only two kinds of attraction: homo (same as me) and hetero (different than me). I am also actively ignoring the meaning of the purple stripe on the bisexual flag.
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