I Dont Really Do Fake Twitter Things Like These, Definitely Dont Make Em, But I Keep Rereading This One

Marvel Cursing

You see, Marvel cursing, is a rare occurrence as the man’s swear vocabulary normally consists of “holy moly” and “oh my days” and “good gravy” and just things along those lines. So much so that JL kind of forgets that he can curse as he’s (supposedly) a grown ass man. As a result of this, it will give them major whiplash when Marvel does curse. And just for me, myself and I, whenever this happens, he pulls out the most midwestern accent ever. I say this cause Fawcett is somewhere in the Midwest.

Like let’s say Constantine and Marvel are talking and Clark is nearby doing whatever and after a bit, their conversation ends and Constantine walks off. As the blonde man is leaving, Clark hears Marvel fake a cough and mutter “bitchass” under his breath. It’s safe to say Billy’s still a little (a lot) mad about Constantine trying to take the living lightning from him. But anyways, hearing this, Supes stops whatever he was doing and slowly looks over to Marvel who’s kinda not really but also definitely glaring at Constantine as the man left. For the rest of the day, Clark kept side eying Marvel to see if he was mind controlled but then he remembered the Cap was a grown ass man and that he could cuss if he pleased. (None of the league knows he’s a child guys)

Or another time when Marvel was talking to Mary in the kitchen of Mount Justice. Kid Flash sped by just in time to hear Marvel say something along the lines of “Christ on a cross, what a dumb cunt” while sounding so disappointed in whoever that was directed at. Wally poked his head into the kitchen to see the two, Mary sitting by the counter and Marvel making some type of dessert. He was wearing a lightning bolt patterned apron and everything.

Kid Flash: “Heeeey guys… Whatcha talking about?” *has never heard Marvel curse once in his entire time of being their den mother so he’s naturally a little concerned*

Mary and Marvel: *share look before looking back at Kid Flash*

Mary: “We were talking about… uh… Your guy’s recent performance in field!” (They weren’t. They were actually talking about some crackhead who lived nearby them.)

Marvel: “Yeah, that.” *stops stirring batter in a bowl* “By the way, I’m making cookies, you want some later?”

Kid Flash: “Oh. Uh… yeah. Igottagobye.” *zooms off to the lounge*

Marvel and Mary: *both confused at the sudden departure, but shrug it off and go back to talking about the crackhead*

Kid Flash: *now in the lounge* “Guys- Guys!”

Other YJ members: “What?”

Kid Flash: “Marvel thinks one of us is dumb cunt!”

Other YJ members: “WHAT?”

They all ended up trying to do that thing where you subtly ask someone for information like “Hey, Marvel, how’d you think we all did during the last mission?” “You all did wonderful!” Safe to say it doesn’t really help them. Also neither Mary, nor Billy realize they just made these kids more insecure than their teenage brains naturally make them.

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people aren't shocked shang qinghua pulled mobei jun, they're shocked mobei jun pulled shang qinghua

In a mission slip up, both Captain Marvel and his "Daughter" Mary Marvel get captured in an unknown location while they are being secretly recorded and live streamed to the masses. These are some of the noments that have gone viral since this has started.

Mary: *Silently puting her hair up to focuse better on getting out*

Captain:...You look like her.

Mary: Hm?

Captain: What? Uh, a nothing.

Mary: Wait wait, do you mean mom?

Captain now visiballly nervouse: Hey we should focuse on getting out of here.

Mary: No wait come on! You never talk about her and you know I dont remember anything.

Captain: Then ask Jr.

Mary: What!? Hey what would he know? Jr. never met her.

Captain: He would know not to ask dumb questions.

Mary: I- ughh just. Please.

Captain sighes: ...Ok ok...just give me a second.

Mary: So?

Captain: You haver her mannerisms.

Mary: Mannerisms?

Captain: You- god I'm bad at this. You do things, little things just like she did. Like the way you tie your hair or the way you avoid small obsticals by jumping over it. Or how when you read you refuse to break the spine even though I find that ridiculouse.

Mary: It protects to book!

Captain: From what? The Bend?

Mary smacks him causing the Captain to laugh.

Captain: Hey now that I think about it. You also have her temper.

Mary: You!

This goes Viral everywhere, #captaindad and #singlefathermarvel start trending along side #marvelfamily and #babybrotherjr for some reason.

The League saw this while trying to locate them and get a hold on the situation. They have to take a moment for themselves to proccese what they just saw. Some more then others. Jr. Is getting many weird looks from the YJ he does not want to acknowlege.

Alls this to say that when they get back Billy gets a really weird and uncomfortable talk with the JL about "being more open" and "letting his kids know more about their family" which he just does not want to deal sith at all, please leave me alone, we are not talking about dead lovers, wtf.

Mary gets treated to some sort of "so you have a (suprisingly) emotionally consipated parent" initiation club by the teen titains. They have cake.

Jr. Is laughing his ass off, from where hed hiding from the YJ and their plan to "force family therapy.

Why cant they all be normal?

I have a little idea. I know some, if not all, will hate me for this idea.

So the Big Three of the League, namely Batman, Wonder Woman, and Superman, don't like Captain Marvel. They don't hate him, but they don't particularly like him either.

He is too bright and friendly for Batman. You can see right away that he was brought up well. Marvel has never experienced the darkness of the world, because only people like him always believe in everything good and teach it to others. He has never experienced grief from loss or loneliness. He is a happy man from a happy family. And the fact that Batman cannot find out who Marvel is adds fuel to the fire.

Diana is a little jealous that Marvel is patronized by Zeus, her father. At the same time, Marvel behaves in a mature way that irritates her. After all, what warrior, endowed with the power of the Gods, would behave like a child? She believes that he does not deserve these powers. And she does not believe it when she hears from Marvel that he was endowed with these powers for his pure heart. No one has a pure heart. This is the truth of the world.

Superman is jealous that Marvel was accepted into Fawcett right away when he first appeared. And Clark had to work hard to stop being afraid and start being loved. Moreover, Clark is the last representative of his world, unlike Marvel, which is exactly why it is impossible to understand the weight of the whole world on his shoulders from such knowledge. Even the villains respect Marvel, unlike Superman's villains. And there is not much negative press about Marvel and his heroism, while Superman receives slander almost every day and not only.

So yeah, the Big Three don't like him a bit. The others can't figure out (especially Barry and Hal) what's wrong with Fawcett's hero that the three of them frown so much when it comes to Captain Marvel.

Meanwhile, Billy is hiding from the rain in the old subway, hugging his stuffed tiger, hoping that he can earn himself at least a dollar.

You Know Not All of Us Were Assholes, Right?

Because of the fact that Marvel debuted in the 1950s, people thought he was all of the -ics and -isms.

Marvel: *staring at a gay couple making out* “Ew.”

Robin!Tim: “Woah, man.”

Marvel: “What?”

Robin!Tim: “Look, I understand things were different for you back then, but times have changed. Being gay is accepted nowadays.”

Marvel: “I thought being happy was always accepted? Was being happy not good at some point?”

Robin!Tim: “No- uh being a homosexual is accepted nowadays.”

Marvel: “Oh. Well, that’s just dandy! All their protesting and fighting made a real difference, huh?”

Robin!Tim: “Yes!” *pauses* “You sound surprisingly happy about that.”

Marvel: “Why wouldn’t I be? Those people were treated like scum and were forced to protest basic rights. Isn’t that a good thing?”

Robin!Tim: “Yes, but you just said ew to them.”

Marvel: “Why wouldn’t I…? Those guys were full tongue kissing in public. It was disgusting. Like two dogs, lapping at each other’s faces.” *shivers*

or

Marvel: “Wait… So you were a girl that became a boy. Why?”

Trans Person: “Well, I just wanted to be one.”

Marvel: “Oh.” *stares a for a moment* “Well, you certainly did a good job. I wasn’t able to tell you were ever a girl at some point.”

Trans Person: “That’s kinda what the testosterone was for.”

Marvel: “Testosterone?”

Trans Person: “It’s something I take to become a boy.”

Marvel: “Wow… People have really come so far.” *sounds so amazed*

or

Female Hero: “What? Are you looking down on me?”

Marvel: “No-”

Female Hero: “I’ll have you know that women have come far from the lowly housewives you might’ve seen them as fifty odd years ago.”

Marvel: “Yeah… I know. You know I’ve worked with Bulletgirl, right? And Mary. All I did was comment about how you were being a little reckless, which you are being you’ve thrown and missed multiple cars at a singular villain. Why are you insulting housewives all of a sudden?” *sounds extremely concerned*

Minato and his bois😎

Bird mask for obito because tobi literally means black kite in Japanese

Star Sapphire by Miguel Mercado

after mission break

Unwilling revolutionary 💢

Jazz had known the dangers of living alone in Gotham. A lone woman in this crime filled city. Were a person could get mugged or kidnapped as soon as they stepped out the door

She had taken precautions when she moved into her apartment. A pocket knife that was currently in a pair jeans on the top of the hamper. An aint-creep stick by the door. A gun in her bedroom safe. Weekly self-defense classes and visits to the gun range.

None of that had prevented her from freezing when an intruder slid open her window.

Part of her mind protested at the ridiculous of her freezing interror. She'd gone ghost hunting many times with her family taking down eldrich horrors that would give even the bravest soul nightmares. But that was with her family.

She didn't have her Mom here, instilling confidence. Nor her Dad giving her ease. No Danny to fill her with protectiveness either.

This time, she was alone, quietly staring down the dark figure trespassing into her home. The book in her hand slowly lowered onto the blanket, covering her lap. Her other hand clutched tight to the back of the worn couch she was curled up on.

She needed to move. Arm herself. The kitchen knives were the closest. She could get to them.

She just need to move!

MOVE!

But she didn't. Limbs locked as the figure straightened and closed the window.

Soft light glinted off the red helmet covering the figure's face as he turned around before freezing - his sight finally making contact with Jazz's stricken stare. He looked away, head turning in a way that suggested he was taking stock of his surroundings before tilting his head back and letting out a curse.

"This is not my apartment." He murmured before turning back to the window. He jiggle the frame in an attempt to open it. And jiggled it again. The third attempt was even more frantic.

The window was stuck.

Jazz slowly blinked. Her mind came to the conclusion that she wasn't in danger and that it was more than likely Red Hood, who had broken into her apartment and was trying to leave.

Should she go over and help? Jazz shifted, the blanket sliding off her lap enough to show the Red Hood theme pajamas bottoms she was wearing. Jazz quickly grabbed the blanket, repositioning it to cover her pants. That would be so embarrassing if he saw.

A snort came at the thought. With it, laughter bubbled in her throat, and she couldn't help but cackle at the absurdity of the situation. Red Hood was trying to run away after mistakenly entering her apartment, yet she was embarrassed over her clothes.

Red Hood let out a frustrated noise. The window hadn't moved even an inch.

"Just," Jazz said between giggles, pointing, "use the front door."