Marvel Cursing

Tim? Jealous? Absolutely not, how could you even think that?

You know as soon as Dick finds about this he will convince the entire family to gift Bernard with their merchandise just to mess with Tim, is what a good brother would do 😌

shang qinghua understands the shock people have when they find out he and mobei jun are together, mobei jun is gorgeous and strong. caring in weird ways; he's the ideal man so yeah it's a wonder he's dating shang qinghua of all people

really they're suprised that shang qinghua is dating mobei jun. shang qinghua is an immortal peak lord, he's an excellent spy, can be charming when he needs to be, and his awkwardness is endearing and he's dating a demon lord who barely talks, is built like a fridge and has maybe two expressions being cold aloofness and anger

people aren't shocked shang qinghua pulled mobei jun, they're shocked mobei jun pulled shang qinghua

DPXDC Community Service Mentor

After Dan's redemption arc and subsequent chilling out, the observants still feel he hasn't paid back for what he ruined, and decided that rather than incarcerate a perfectly nice guy, he's going to have mandatory community service.

And thus, Dan Phantom is shunted off into the mentor program for shitty powerhouses known as Marvel Duty.

So when Billy Batson is chosen and meets his new head mates, he's faced with morally questionable mythical figures such as Zeus, Hercules, Solomon, Atlas, Achilles, Mercury and,,, some guy named Dan???? Who, for the record, gives horrible life advice.

-

Billy: Batman kinda scares me.

Dan: oh, he's one of the easier ones, actually. Just go after him first real quick when he has no reason to suspect you, worked real well.

Billy, very concerned: ...what?

Dan, doesn't realize how insane that was: what?

-

Billy: How do I get rid of this rogue? He's really persistent!

Dan: kill him.

Billy: NO!

-

Dan: That rich guy, the Wayne one.

Billy: yeah?

Dan: don't let him get your genetic material, crazy billionaires are an epidemic.

Billy: what the hell happened to you?

-

Flash: so what were the crusades like, did you participate on either side?

Billy, put on the spot and panicking: uhhhh

Dan: say you were in China, Kublai Khan was trying to relive his grandfather's glory.

Billy awkward as hell: oh I was in China for that. Kublai and all that jazz.

Billy: were you alive in ancient China? You sound American?

Dan: I am, time travel.

Billy, confused: oh...

I’ve been cackling about this for like five minutes now

i think about this frequently

you wouldnt think it when meeting him for the first time but the lord of an ding is quite the smoker

Jason should have come back to the manor post-lazarus pit and revealed himself as Jason Todd but not told the rest of the family that he’s also Red Hood. can you imagine how fucking funny that would be.

Nightwing: honestly! my family is fucking INSANE! i swear the only good one is my little brother, he died and came back and decided to ditch the vigilante life.

Red Hood: oh shit really?

Nightwing: honestly probably the smartest one out of all of us, he’s reading in bed while we’re all out here on stakeouts!

Red Hood: interesting. tell me more about how this brother is the best of all of you.

~

Red Hood: so what are you guys getting the smart handsome not-vigilante brother for Christmas?

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin:

~

Batman: now i need all of you to have an equal share in the clean up-

Red Hood: yeah sorry, you aren’t MY dad, so i’m gonna dip. have fun cleaning!

the funniest part is when Dick and Tim decide that since Red Hood and Jason are so similar and Red Hood CLEARLY seems to like what he hears about Jason, that they should try to set the two up.

Jason, calling Roy at 4am: i need you in Gotham within the next hour so you can dress up as Red Hood and we can pretend that I’m sleeping with myself.

Roy:

Roy: i’m gonna get caught sneaking out of your bedroom with lipstick on your helmet

Jason: this is gonna be the funniest thing we’ve ever done.

one of the reasons i have more patience & affection for spuffy than for other m/f enemies-to-lovers ships in a similar mold is that buffy is under no illusion that she can fix that man. in fact she believes he is ontologically incapable of being fixed. he'll be like Buffy i can change and she'll be like You are literally not capable of doing that. then he actually does change and she's like. Wait you can do that??? Not sure how i feel about that to be honest

TW BLOOD!!! Au in which Dimaria actually took Lucy’s eye

Astrid: Do you think your dad likes me?

Hiccup: My dad literally begged you to marry me