Batson, The Bat’s Son, And Familial Misunderstandings.

DPXDC Community Service Mentor

After Dan's redemption arc and subsequent chilling out, the observants still feel he hasn't paid back for what he ruined, and decided that rather than incarcerate a perfectly nice guy, he's going to have mandatory community service.

And thus, Dan Phantom is shunted off into the mentor program for shitty powerhouses known as Marvel Duty.

So when Billy Batson is chosen and meets his new head mates, he's faced with morally questionable mythical figures such as Zeus, Hercules, Solomon, Atlas, Achilles, Mercury and,,, some guy named Dan???? Who, for the record, gives horrible life advice.

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Billy: Batman kinda scares me.

Dan: oh, he's one of the easier ones, actually. Just go after him first real quick when he has no reason to suspect you, worked real well.

Billy, very concerned: ...what?

Dan, doesn't realize how insane that was: what?

-

Billy: How do I get rid of this rogue? He's really persistent!

Dan: kill him.

Billy: NO!

-

Dan: That rich guy, the Wayne one.

Billy: yeah?

Dan: don't let him get your genetic material, crazy billionaires are an epidemic.

Billy: what the hell happened to you?

-

Flash: so what were the crusades like, did you participate on either side?

Billy, put on the spot and panicking: uhhhh

Dan: say you were in China, Kublai Khan was trying to relive his grandfather's glory.

Billy awkward as hell: oh I was in China for that. Kublai and all that jazz.

Billy: were you alive in ancient China? You sound American?

Dan: I am, time travel.

Billy, confused: oh...

Merlin and the knights playing never have I ever

At first, it's innocent stuff and Gwaine complains that it's all dull trivia and they need to start getting into the more interesting questions. Leon looks him dead in the eyes and says "Fine. Never have I ever been arrested" Literally everyone but Leon drinks.

From that point it becomes a challenge to see who's done the most outrageously criminal shit "Never have I ever been in a bar fight" "Never have I ever committed identity fraud" "Never have I ever broken someone out of the dungeons" "Never have I ever stolen from the royal vaults" "Never have I ever committed treason with the King still in the room" And Merlin. Just. Keeps. Drinking. Now it's about trying to find something Merlin hasn't done but one of the others has. The answer turns out to be "Never have I ever been banished from a kingdom"

Merlin passes out before he runs out of criminal things he's done. Magic is the only reason he's still alive the next morning after how high his blood alcohol level was.

After Merlin passes out the knight just look at each other wondering how Merlin hasn't been executed yet with all the shit he's done. Gwaine chuckles and shakes his head "Perks of being the king's mistress"

Yeehaw, have another product my hyperfixation!!

[watch it on youtube]

This was so much fun to make despite being a bit tedious at times. I hope you all get some enjoyment out of it like I did!

(Shot opens in Magicians Meeting Hall)

Captain Marvel: *strolls inside toward his seat and unpacks from his little satchel. Stops and greets other magic-users before pulling out notebooks and pencils*

(Cut to Billy on the couch)

Billy: So, over the weekend, I might’ve made a slightly impulsive decision

(Cut back to CM unpacking a mug that reads *#1 DAD!*)

Billy: I mean, I don’t regret it. I just wish I didn’t have to keep my identity a secret, ya know?

(Cuts to Cap smiling at the mug)

(Cuts back to Billy on the couch)

Billy: *holding a photo of Conner/Kon-El(Superboy)This is my son. Isn’t he great? He can already leap tall buildings in a single bound!

(Cuts back to Meeting Hall. Camera pans to New God Metron, swiping away at unreadable documents)

(Cuts to Metron on the couch)

Metron: It’s real. It’s all real. I don’t even…I don’t understand what is going on inside that head of his

(Cut to Satanus in the Meeting Hall, doing his damn best to not laugh)

(Cut to Satanus on the couch)

Satanus: He’s—Pfft—He’s grown up so much! I actually—Shit, I can’t wait to tell Blaze about this.

(Cuts to Blaze on the couch)

Lady Blaze: 😦

Lady Blaze: You’re kidding

(Everyone watches Marvel sip water from the mug. He stares back)

Captain Marvel: What?

Fate: Nothing. Nothing at all

Captain Marvel: You sure?

(Camera pans to Metron, still swiping)

Captain Marvel: He doesn’t look so good.

(Cuts to Billy on the couch)

Billy: he actually reminds me of my uncle after he has too much beer, but I don’t want to seem rude. I’m a dad now.

(Cuts to Satanus on the couch)

Satanus: He actually said that? No, he actually said that?

(Cuts to Billy on the couch)

Billy: I’m gonna be. The best. Dad. Ever. No other dad will dad like I dad.

(Cuts to Satanus on the couch)

Satanus: *laughing too much to be human* Please—Please don’t—Make it stop! I can’t!

i KNOW im beating a dead horse but we were so robbed and i could genuinely talk about this for hours. THE DYNAMIC OF CHLOE BEING ADRIENS CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND/ONLY FRIEND. they both have shitty parents, they ARE each others family. she thinks she's in love with adrien but realizes it's familial, not romantic. she's marinettes bully but grows as a person with ladybug & adrien's encouragement. SHE CHANGES BECAUSE SHE LOVES ADRIEN LIKE A BROTHER AND SHE BEGRUDGINGLY WARMS UP TO MARINETTE BUT THEY NEVER TRULY BECOME FRIENDS UNTIL AFTER ADRIEN AND MARINETTE GET MARRIED BECAUSE SHE THINKS MARINETTE WILL HURT HIM LIKE HIS FATHER. SHES THE MOST OVERPROTECTIVE SISTER TO HIM. SHE STAYS THE SAME UPPITY RICH GIRL WITH A HEART OF GOLD BECAUSE SHE ADMITS HER FLAWS AND STRUGGLES BUT STILL KEEPS A MASK UP MOST OF THE TIME. SHE LOVES LADYBUG AND CANT STAND CHAT NOIR UNTIL THE REVEAL BECAUSE THATS HILARIOUS. THE POTENTIAL KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT. i will NEVER accept what we got.

BECAUSE WHAT A WASTE OF A WONDERFUL CHARACTER. SOMEBODY SEDATE ME.

I’ve been cackling about this for like five minutes now

Marvel Cursing

You see, Marvel cursing, is a rare occurrence as the man’s swear vocabulary normally consists of “holy moly” and “oh my days” and “good gravy” and just things along those lines. So much so that JL kind of forgets that he can curse as he’s (supposedly) a grown ass man. As a result of this, it will give them major whiplash when Marvel does curse. And just for me, myself and I, whenever this happens, he pulls out the most midwestern accent ever. I say this cause Fawcett is somewhere in the Midwest.

Like let’s say Constantine and Marvel are talking and Clark is nearby doing whatever and after a bit, their conversation ends and Constantine walks off. As the blonde man is leaving, Clark hears Marvel fake a cough and mutter “bitchass” under his breath. It’s safe to say Billy’s still a little (a lot) mad about Constantine trying to take the living lightning from him. But anyways, hearing this, Supes stops whatever he was doing and slowly looks over to Marvel who’s kinda not really but also definitely glaring at Constantine as the man left. For the rest of the day, Clark kept side eying Marvel to see if he was mind controlled but then he remembered the Cap was a grown ass man and that he could cuss if he pleased. (None of the league knows he’s a child guys)

Or another time when Marvel was talking to Mary in the kitchen of Mount Justice. Kid Flash sped by just in time to hear Marvel say something along the lines of “Christ on a cross, what a dumb cunt” while sounding so disappointed in whoever that was directed at. Wally poked his head into the kitchen to see the two, Mary sitting by the counter and Marvel making some type of dessert. He was wearing a lightning bolt patterned apron and everything.

Kid Flash: “Heeeey guys… Whatcha talking about?” *has never heard Marvel curse once in his entire time of being their den mother so he’s naturally a little concerned*

Mary and Marvel: *share look before looking back at Kid Flash*

Mary: “We were talking about… uh… Your guy’s recent performance in field!” (They weren’t. They were actually talking about some crackhead who lived nearby them.)

Marvel: “Yeah, that.” *stops stirring batter in a bowl* “By the way, I’m making cookies, you want some later?”

Kid Flash: “Oh. Uh… yeah. Igottagobye.” *zooms off to the lounge*

Marvel and Mary: *both confused at the sudden departure, but shrug it off and go back to talking about the crackhead*

Kid Flash: *now in the lounge* “Guys- Guys!”

Other YJ members: “What?”

Kid Flash: “Marvel thinks one of us is dumb cunt!”

Other YJ members: “WHAT?”

They all ended up trying to do that thing where you subtly ask someone for information like “Hey, Marvel, how’d you think we all did during the last mission?” “You all did wonderful!” Safe to say it doesn’t really help them. Also neither Mary, nor Billy realize they just made these kids more insecure than their teenage brains naturally make them.

Clark gets hit with a love spell and is cursed to be loved by everyone (more than usual). Except you can't effect what's already there. ...Oh, and love spells don't affect kids.

or, Billy Batson's Unwilling Observation of his Adult™️ Coworkers Love Lives

Bruce and Diana do not change at all, and they notice this of each other. You know who else isn't affected though? That's right. Billy Captain Marvel Batson himself.

See, Bruce and Diana are pretty smart, so they realize that the only reason they both aren't reacting is because they are both in love with Clark, obviously.... which means their coworker Captain Marvel must be in love with him too.

Bruce: I've gathered you all here today because I've noticed that all three of us are acting normal around Superman. Diana: It appears so. Billy: ?!?!?! Are we supposed to be acting weird? Diana: we will fight to the death for superman's affection Bruce: agreed Billy: WHAT IS GOING ON?! Diana: ???? He was hit with a love spell. Specifically, a spell that makes everyone else love him. Billy: HE WAS?!?!?!?! Diana: Bruce: [Bruce & Diana, exchanging looks] Bruce: You wouldn't happen to be... immune to some spells, would you? Billy, taking the out: YES. YES I AM. Diana: Oh Bruce: Oh Billy, vibrating with secondhand embarrassment: I'm. I'm just gonna leave. Diana: ...ok Bruce: (internally screaming)

Dementus I hate you

You know, Chloé honestly shouldn't be the way she is in the show, even with André and Audrey. Why?

Ballet.

Specifically the kind of extremely expensive top tier ballet she would be thrust into. As of Frightingale she had 8yrs of ballet. That's starting at 5-6, latest.

No high class ballet teacher will take anything from a 5-6yr old. No mayor will intimidate them. They will boot anyone they feel is slacking. Making it this long Chloé could be a bully, she could be vicious, she could be mean, but she *should* be driven, and disciplined. She should value physical precision and poise. Picking on Marinette for being clumsy flows perfectly from that, but only if we see her comparing herself favorably.

In the absence of a strong parental figure, that teacher should be an integral part of her life.

We got none of that though, because 'lol spoiled rich girl' and the story writing isn't as deliberate as they claim. The '8yrs of dance' was a throw away line made up for one episode without thought.

Going beyond her character, this helps explain a lot of the other ??? Moments and lose ends too.