I'm Literally So Obsessed With The Fact That Shang Qinghua And Shen Qingqiu Married The Most Extreme

Perhaps I'm just uncultured, but why has no one ever done Sirius finding out about jegulus because he's been sneaking visits with Reg as Padfoot?? Like Sirius is just laying there in animagus form with his head on Reg's lap while he does his homework, and Reg has no idea, and James is sneaking over to say hi and ask if they're still on for tonight, and he and Padfoot just lock eyes

Astrid: Do you think your dad likes me?

Hiccup: My dad literally begged you to marry me

Tim? Jealous? Absolutely not, how could you even think that?

You know as soon as Dick finds about this he will convince the entire family to gift Bernard with their merchandise just to mess with Tim, is what a good brother would do 😌

Wednesday: Enid, when I die, you have to die too.

Wednesday: None of this “she would want you to move on and be happy”.

Wednesday: No, I wouldn’t. Get in the casket.

Enid:

Jazz had known the dangers of living alone in Gotham. A lone woman in this crime filled city. Were a person could get mugged or kidnapped as soon as they stepped out the door

She had taken precautions when she moved into her apartment. A pocket knife that was currently in a pair jeans on the top of the hamper. An aint-creep stick by the door. A gun in her bedroom safe. Weekly self-defense classes and visits to the gun range.

None of that had prevented her from freezing when an intruder slid open her window.

Part of her mind protested at the ridiculous of her freezing interror. She'd gone ghost hunting many times with her family taking down eldrich horrors that would give even the bravest soul nightmares. But that was with her family.

She didn't have her Mom here, instilling confidence. Nor her Dad giving her ease. No Danny to fill her with protectiveness either.

This time, she was alone, quietly staring down the dark figure trespassing into her home. The book in her hand slowly lowered onto the blanket, covering her lap. Her other hand clutched tight to the back of the worn couch she was curled up on.

She needed to move. Arm herself. The kitchen knives were the closest. She could get to them.

She just need to move!

MOVE!

But she didn't. Limbs locked as the figure straightened and closed the window.

Soft light glinted off the red helmet covering the figure's face as he turned around before freezing - his sight finally making contact with Jazz's stricken stare. He looked away, head turning in a way that suggested he was taking stock of his surroundings before tilting his head back and letting out a curse.

"This is not my apartment." He murmured before turning back to the window. He jiggle the frame in an attempt to open it. And jiggled it again. The third attempt was even more frantic.

The window was stuck.

Jazz slowly blinked. Her mind came to the conclusion that she wasn't in danger and that it was more than likely Red Hood, who had broken into her apartment and was trying to leave.

Should she go over and help? Jazz shifted, the blanket sliding off her lap enough to show the Red Hood theme pajamas bottoms she was wearing. Jazz quickly grabbed the blanket, repositioning it to cover her pants. That would be so embarrassing if he saw.

A snort came at the thought. With it, laughter bubbled in her throat, and she couldn't help but cackle at the absurdity of the situation. Red Hood was trying to run away after mistakenly entering her apartment, yet she was embarrassed over her clothes.

Red Hood let out a frustrated noise. The window hadn't moved even an inch.

"Just," Jazz said between giggles, pointing, "use the front door."

one of those tiktok gotham university reporters approaching bernard on the way to one of his bio classes: thoughts on red robin?

bernard, mildly sleep deprived, and knowing full well what tim’s night life is like: smash [proceeds to walk away like nothing happened]

Name

"Helana, behind you."

"It's alright, Helena."

"Helena."  

"Helena-"

"Ya know, Q," Helena began, easily ducking away from a punch thrown by a third rate goon, "You're pretty cavalier with my real name, for a paranoid guy like you."

The thug seemed enraged by her nonchalance, but that barely pinged on her radar as her boyfriend responded, "I'll make sure no one finds out your identity," his voice was distracted as he downloaded the file, like her concern was not a concern at all, "So it doesn't matter."

"Constantly making sure it stays secret seems like a waste of time and effort," she retorted, growing tired of playing with her adversary and delivering a hook right under his jaw that knocked him flat. Now that all the hired muscle was out of her way, she cracked her knuckles as she approached Question.

He pulled the drive out of the computer, slipping it into his pocket. Before he spoke, he paused thoughtfully, and lifted his leg to kick the computer screen in.

"It's a trifle for me."

"Q, you're really-"

Wait. Q didn't brag about stuff like that. And he had better things to focus on than constantly monitoring his, uh, network(?) to make sure her true identity didn't reach the wrong ears. He must have a reason... oh. 

Oh, baby doll.

Quick as a flash, she fired a bolt from his crossbow that whizzed past his head to catch his attention.

"Any reason for the failed assassination attempt? You normally don't miss."

She hooked the weapon back on her belt, approaching her boyfriend with the kind of conviction in her eye that led to men being dead in every sense but the legal one, and he was smart enough to back up. Eventually, the back of his knees hit the office chair that he had risen from earlier, and he fell into sitting in it with a soft thump.

"I have a theory, Q. Humor me for a minute."

He swallowed thickly at her low tone, and nodded, clearly thankful for the impassivity of expression inherent to his mask.

She reached his spot and boxed him in by putting both hands on each arm of the chair, "I was wondering why you'd go through all the trouble of tempting fate with my identity. You don't take unnecessary risks, right? Except you do. In one circumstance."

Leaning in, her black hair framed her face like a dark halo, the effect accentuated by the flickering overhead light that had been broken by a stray bullet in the earlier brawl. His avenging angel. His heart rate increased at a concerning pace, "When you want to impress me, you can get a little reckless, huh baby doll? You get off on the thrill of protecting me. That's why you do it- you make a situation where you create and solve the problem."

She pulled his tie loose from his vest, yanking it forward so her unmasked nose bumped into his masked one, "I unraveled one of your little mysteries. How's that make you feel, baby?"

"Do you want the long answer or the short one?"

She laughed, nearly low purr, "Let's make it quick."

"Good. Very."

She let go of his tie, but not before hooking a finger under the knot and loosening it just a bit, "As much as I like putting on a show, let's head back before these idiots wake up so you can do whatever it is you need to with that data, and then I can give you your reward for being honest," her smirk grew as she whispered, "Vic."

For the first time, he found that being bested at his own game wasn't so bad at all.•

The Townspeople: Tell us your backstory Victor.

Victor (closing his eyes for 12 minutes, opening them, exhaling long and loud): No. I gotta go.

Listen. They’re both insane about each other I do not want to ignore Momo’s insane behavior. BUT. This dude is on ALL FOURS letting Momo RIDE ON HIS BACK he is NOT beating the guard dog allegations.

Yes, actually