Perhaps I'm just uncultured, but why has no one ever done Sirius finding out about jegulus because he's been sneaking visits with Reg as Padfoot?? Like Sirius is just laying there in animagus form with his head on Reg's lap while he does his homework, and Reg has no idea, and James is sneaking over to say hi and ask if they're still on for tonight, and he and Padfoot just lock eyes
Hilda Furacão is so funny. Hilda the Sinner is having a great time going to football games, chatting with old dudes and daydreaming about her fairytale man giving back her shoe so she can be happily married
Meanwhile Malthus the Saint™ is stress eating, having a faith/identity crisis and fantasizing vividly about Hilda straping him to a bed and fucking his soul out of him
it's so beautiful finding out that the ballad of the witches' road began between agatha and nicholas and their bond, and earlier on we find out that lorna wu created her version in order to protect alice I AM ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED.
A scenario where Shepard jokes with Vega, saying she's practically Garrus' wife now after she promotes him to her XO during the war, resulting in them unintentionally spending a lot more time together.
The joke goes over Vega's head, and he goes to congratulate Garrus personally. Garrus is confused, and Vega promises to keep the "secret marriage" a secret. Garrus now has to figure out how in the hell he accidentally proposed to and married a human and how is he supposed to tell his dad he missed the unplanned wedding and the ceremonial meeting of his fiancé. He was almost 30, but this was going to get him grounded for at least another 30 years or maybe even life.
Was he supposed to get his new wife a gift? Where they supposed to get matching tattoos like Turians? He could've sworn he read somewhere that humans consummated their vows the same way Turians do. Where did he go wrong dammit!?
He adores the idea of Shepard being his wife and loves knowing that she was so excited that she even told Vega about it. He just now has to figure out how he married her in the first place without her knowing he doesn't know. Because then she'll think he never wanted to marry her, and that is NOT the case. Maybe Tali will know? No way. She'd just call him a bosh'tet. Wrex will also call him a professional idiot. Liara won't judge, but he's sure she still hasn't gotten over her crush on the Commander, and he doesn't want to rub his new marriage in her face. Maybe Joker will tell him if he promises him the new fornax issue.
Garrus has had his fair share of giving his dad a pseudo aneurysm, but this one was going to send him into cardiac arrest for sure when he finds out his son married a woman the family didn't even meet. He needs a drink...after he finishes bribing Edi to scrub away everything she just heard him say out loud.
Garrus doesn't know that Vega is the galaxy's worst secret keeper, telling Shepard he's keeping the secret marriage a secret unwilling to let Shepard convince him that she's actually not married yet. She goes to see Garrus to have a good laugh about Vega's idiocy but walks into Garrus telling Edi he will use Shepard's override if she doesn't get rid of something.
Garrus is absolutely mortified and gives the cheesiest greeting to his "wife." She assumes Vega already brought the joke to Garrus but she's not overlooking him trying to be suspicious with Edi. He recovers, mentioning it was for his sesrch history for a gift he wanted to get her. He did intend to get her a gift so the phrase wasn't a complete lie...
She jokes about it and calls him her husband. Garrus, the realist he is, does not take this as a joke. She leaves him to his vices, and Garrus is now in a full-blown panic. He needs to understand what he did, and he needs to know now.
(If my brain gets any more random ideas, I'll at least finish and provide a resolution to this concept, lol. Feel free to offer your own ending)
Shang Qinghua comes in late to a Peak Lord meeting and immediately gets harangued and insulted by Cucumber Bro, but like, good naturedly, and he responses in kind
But once the meeting gets started he notices that several peak lords look disheveled and kind of beat up and everyone is either giving him dirty looks or looking at him like he's a puzzle to solve
What he doesn't know:
Before he got there the other Peak Lords started talking shit about Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu lost his shit at them. Blood was spilt but more than that egos were punctured
And then the moment Shang Qinghua turns up Shen Qingqiu is ruder to his face then they were behind his back
They are all so confused
Thinking about how Odysseus carved the wedding bed out of an olive tree, which means the bed is rooted in the ground.
Thinking about the line “You don’t think I know my own palace? I built it!”.
Thinking about the fact that Odysseus built his entire palace around that olive tree, his and Penelope’s wedding bed, a symbol of their love.
Odysseus’ world is literally built around his love for Penelope.
…..i’m not crying, i just have an odypen in my eye.
I hate this so much. I HATE THIS SO MUCH SO THAT I WANT TO KILL MYSELF IN FRONT OF THE WRITERS JUST SO THAT THEY WILL FEEL AN OUNCE OF THE PAIN AND TRAUMA THEY LEFT ME WITH. Hyde was just like "you can go back to kelso" ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? If there is one thing, ONE THING STEVEN HYDE WOULD NEVER SAY is that. Not after how jealous he was anytime they interacted and anytime Michael made jokes and how much it angered him that she had been with Kelso first. He literally hated that and the writing made it CLEAR. I mean obviously nothing in season 8 makes sense and it's all OOC but I just wanted to point this one out.
THEY WERE GOING TO GET ENGAGED
@thestupidhelmet I can't even begin to comprehend how you must've felt watching it when it aired.
Gif credit: @putinskremlinqueen4palestine64
It's so funny that Luo Binghe asks for love advice and Mobei is the first to pipe up with "beat him three times a day"
which definitely got all the other demons in the room thinking: "and how's that working out for you Lord Desperate To Get Fucked By Your Servant"
Only to get shocked when Shang Qinghua advises Junshang to "be pathetic"
Like imagine watching your colleague fail to land a date with his assistant for forever only for the assistant to reveal he's being trying to land a date with your colleague this whole time
They're so stupid
shang qinghua understands the shock people have when they find out he and mobei jun are together, mobei jun is gorgeous and strong. caring in weird ways; he's the ideal man so yeah it's a wonder he's dating shang qinghua of all people
really they're suprised that shang qinghua is dating mobei jun. shang qinghua is an immortal peak lord, he's an excellent spy, can be charming when he needs to be, and his awkwardness is endearing and he's dating a demon lord who barely talks, is built like a fridge and has maybe two expressions being cold aloofness and anger
people aren't shocked shang qinghua pulled mobei jun, they're shocked mobei jun pulled shang qinghua