ok so hear me out.
i was watching reels on instagram and then this reel pops up it says "when is something that you do for yourself?"
i ask this to myself or simply answer it like it was meant for me. i say "photography" and the last time i did it was this morning when i woke up to a beautiful sunset and i rushed to capture it because it was different of orange and brown (picture inserted).
my answer is followed by a thought in my head which brings me to tumblr because i wanted to save it here. it says that i clicked the picture and sent it to a friend or two and while i rushing to take the picture of the sky in the back of my mind i had this thing that they like the pictures of the sky and cloud and this sucks. not that they like but that SOMETHING THAT I DO FOR MYSELF - PHOTOGRAPHY is linked to someone now! i am destroying my art. my creativity. i feel so ashamed and embarrassed because i should have never done this in the first place. i was doing one thing for myself and i linked it to someone now and its not for me anymore?
i sincerely apologise to my art. ill be very attentive from now on and what follows my thought cause seconds thoughts are always important and its important to know whats going on in your brain. so just take a look at your brain like you are peeping out of your window and you can see the road? the buildings? the stuff going on there? and all.
"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night"
Sarah Williams
Also I found this while in the forest, it made me happy
genius. :)
google has many problems but it is willing to do the hard work of self-criticism
“I’m almost 50, and here is the best thing I have learned so far: every strange thing you’ve ever been into, every failed hobby or forgotten instrument, everything you have ever learned will come back to you, will serve you when you need it. No love, however brief, is wasted.” @louisethebaker on Twitter
today mummy said "dont be afraid of anything" and fuck anything and anything at all. i aint going back now.
also today mummy attended an award show and she came back with an award (ofc) and a something idk word for it but we put it from one side of the shoulder and let it fall to the other side below our hands something and as soon as she came back she asked me to close my eyes and she was making me wear that and handed me her award. i am in love with her. whatever she has been through i am gonna change her future for sure. she deserves happiness. love of my life is my mom.
in pfp - hozier; in banner - picture from pinterest (credits to the owner.) also hi, im avika. nice to meet you.
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