Imavika - Imavika

"If you smile too much you'll get laugh lines!!!!!" what a horrible curse, to be afraid of having happiness permanently placed onto your body

"It's almost tomorrow."

hehe

it aint turtles all the way down anymore. its bitches all the way down.

fucking crap, everyday, new shit. welcome to the shit show. where u learn to judge shit.

im gonna move out for college. no matter what.

give up on me (don't)

sometimes talking really helps. like you can talk to the person who you think is not interested in talking to you. and you can surprise yourself by getting this answer that you were never bad or irritating to them and in the end, you are left with this question "you really wanna be friends right?". lol. ofc yes. love. no. no. this is a crime. and again im tangled up in my thoughts. i don't wanna be here (in my head is what i mean). i like talking to you. thank you. im grateful so ty and here we are with "don't be" and "don't".

thank you lol.

(to that constant person of my life - im not givin' up, im not givin' up givin' up no not me, even if nobody else believes, im not goin' down that easily..... i will fight. i will fight for you. i always do until my heart is black and blue.)

maybe he did it on purpose. GOD did it on purpose.

today mummy said "dont be afraid of anything" and fuck anything and anything at all. i aint going back now.

also today mummy attended an award show and she came back with an award (ofc) and a something idk word for it but we put it from one side of the shoulder and let it fall to the other side below our hands something and as soon as she came back she asked me to close my eyes and she was making me wear that and handed me her award. i am in love with her. whatever she has been through i am gonna change her future for sure. she deserves happiness. love of my life is my mom.

i love my desk man.

hey to all my friends

who faded away

without letting me know

because

i am glad i did not have to bear with the pain of letting you go

i was observing but hey wait a sec now i think that it was abrupt but

i am back to my safe place and i feel like it was so soft and so slow that you left with no memories

to the one who was my first friend - i am sorry for blaming you for leaving me but i left you too

to the ones who were my next - thank you for not leaving me in a shock but i am sad for sure.

yes. my love is changed. you do not hold the same position in my heart like you used to and i am not sorry for that. sorry for nothing. but i still love you. i dont mean it but its coming from my heart so i guess its true.

ok so hear me out.

i was watching reels on instagram and then this reel pops up it says "when is something that you do for yourself?"

i ask this to myself or simply answer it like it was meant for me. i say "photography" and the last time i did it was this morning when i woke up to a beautiful sunset and i rushed to capture it because it was different of orange and brown (picture inserted).

my answer is followed by a thought in my head which brings me to tumblr because i wanted to save it here. it says that i clicked the picture and sent it to a friend or two and while i rushing to take the picture of the sky in the back of my mind i had this thing that they like the pictures of the sky and cloud and this sucks. not that they like but that SOMETHING THAT I DO FOR MYSELF - PHOTOGRAPHY is linked to someone now! i am destroying my art. my creativity. i feel so ashamed and embarrassed because i should have never done this in the first place. i was doing one thing for myself and i linked it to someone now and its not for me anymore?

i sincerely apologise to my art. ill be very attentive from now on and what follows my thought cause seconds thoughts are always important and its important to know whats going on in your brain. so just take a look at your brain like you are peeping out of your window and you can see the road? the buildings? the stuff going on there? and all.

freak

dont freak out because of the title.

im a disappointment. nothing i do is ever good. i hope i die when i am depressed again.

edit - 27th sept, 23 today. this post is gross. i dont ever wanna be this shit.