Indigo-blueses - ☘️

Today I gained a new perspective on people- pleasing behaviour. I learnt how the reason we people please is to avoid pain, and that may be through confrontation. So in order to avoid that pain or the pain of disappointing the other person, we people- please. To keep the peace. But at what cost?😑

So one way to deal with this is to accept the discomfort that comes with that confrontation or disappointment.🙁🥺

Become when you engage in people pleasing behaviour. You are not benefit anyone. Not even the other person/people. By choosing to "protect" them from the pain, you are hindering their growth as a person. You are getting in the way of their own healing. And as a result you are also not hindering your own growth by holding onto other people's baggage when you have your own to focus on. 🦋🌸

So rather than being afraid to disappoint them. Be with them through that process of pain. Cause that's the only thing that can help them better than trying to please them.🤍🌱

What does shame feel like?

Shame feels like hiding

Shame feels like not wanting to be seen, heard or understood for fear of being judged

Shame feels like wanting to hide in a hole where no one will find you

Shame feels like preferring to be invisible

Shame feels like not belonging

Shame feels like wanting to run away and to never be found

Shame feels like being disgusted by yourself

Shame feels like wanting to be someone else

It feels like you're not as worthy as everyone else

Shame feels like wanting to deny a part of your identity

Advice I got this week:

_Stop complaining about results you didn't get, for work you didn't put in._ 📝

Ruts. Also known as one of those phases in life where you are just existing and not really living. Where you are just going through the exact same cycle day by day just to keep yourself alive. 😕

Where you have no idea what's next or don't know what you are working towards. The phase where it gets to the point where it feels like you're just being dragged by life.🫥😵😵‍💫

That's when you know you need some clarity. 💯

And sometimes clarity requires stillness. So slow down if you will.

Other times clarity requires silence and solitude. Take time away from external stimuli because you can't hear yourself if you always surrounded by outside noise. 📢📢

And as you start to slow down and be still eventually the answers will come.

Maybe in the form of a burst of inspiration. Or coming across that one thing you used to enjoy but left halfway cause you never had the time for it. Or maybe through meeting rekindling an old friendship. 🫂🫶🏼

Anyway.... you never really know what that one choice can bring you as long as it's bringing you closer to your true self.🌸💫

If all your deepest desires could come true, what would you start doing today to receive it?

As humans we are born with so much potential and then somewhere along the way society clips off our wings and still has the audacity to ask why we can't fly? 🧚‍♀️

Just read a story of how this one guy stopped writing because his high school teacher had told him that he'd never make it as a writer. Now he's become the best selling author of two books. 📖📕

We owe it to ourselves to go after the dreams other people think we couldn't achieve. Because how will you know if you don't try?🧩

Like Paulo Coelho said: "it's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting" 🎗️🏵️

Recently, I've been spending a lot time in nature. It begins with me just sitting there feeling the grass with the soles of my feet to observing the swaying of tree leaves caused by the wind. And the longer I just sit there and observe, the more I feel at peace. And the more I feel at home. 🏠🛖🪹

And everytime I feel like that, the more I want to experience more and more of that feeling. Which had me thinking about the different things and experiences I can bring and cultivate into my life to bring more of that. It doesn't have to be anything big, it could be something as simple as bird watching🦅 or listening to that favourite song that feels like a hug. 🤗

Because at the end of the day we all want to feel at home, regardless of whether we are at home or not. Because truth be told for some a home maybe their art🎨, a person, a book📖, the feel of the wind while riding a bike etc. _So if you can, try to make time to cultivate that feeling - because it's really one of those things that matter in life._ 🏵️☘️

Are you constantly overthinking?

Based on my experience, we find ourselves overthinking mainly because we are avoiding something that we are supposed to be doing. This could be doing a certain task(that we think we might fail at or we've never done before) or having that uncomfortable conversation that may lead to us disappointing someone. 🙅‍♀️🤡

So it's easier to just come up with other way you can deal with the situation in your head rather than just taking the right action and facing whatever situation you're supposed to. 📝

Because once you've done that all the overthinking and procrastination eventually stops and life goes on.

Once upon a time I tried cooking fish a certain way and it didn't come out the way I wanted it to. I first fried it in oil at high heat and it got stuck on the surface of the pan.😩

And my first thought was "well, it was probably because the heat was too much." 🥵🥵

And so the next time I tried frying it, I did it on low heat and still the fish got stuck to the pan and turn into little pieces. And I thought "maybe it's because of the pan I was using." 🍳🥘

So since that was the only type we had, I had to find a different way of cooking fish without it sticking to the bottom of the pan.(Of course I could've just roasted it in the oven but that takes too much time and more electricity)🕑⌛⚡

I wanted the easiest and quickest way possible. And so after going through a dew YouTube videos I came across a video where they the dish by first putting the tomatoes, garlic and onions and then putting the fish on top, that way it doesn't stick and it's easier to turn over. And so that's how I had been cooking fish for that entire time. 😇

Now a few days ago, my dad bought fish again. This fish looked different and so I decided to go back to frying it first and see if it would work and Lo and behold it worked!

It didn't stick to the pan and it was on high heat. No flour coating whatsoever. 🐟🐟

So now I was wondering what was different then and now and maybe it's because of the type of fish. Or the thickness of the skin.

Anyway the point of this story is about creativity. When we hear of people being creative, we sometimes think of artists, singers, actors etc. We never really see ourselves as creative unless we are doing artistic stuff like drawing, writing, painting or whatever. And so I remember reading somewhere about how being creative is in every living being. It's in our nature being creative. 🍥

Doing something a different way makes you a creative. Me deciding to cook that fish dish differently makes me creative. Deciding to take a different route home makes you creative.

Doing something different brings out a different outcome, sometimes something that we would've never imagined. And maybe by doing that you find a way of working that you weren't aware of.

Who would've thought my fish dishes would turn to smithereens. It tasted different, a nice different. Probably because of the texture. Would I intentionally cook it again? No.

But maybe if I was a chef looking to polish my culinary skills I would find a way to incorporate it into another dish where it creates the right flavour based on that texture.👨‍🍳🔪

And so doing something different might lead to new discoveries. So in what ways are you choosing to do things differently?🌱✨🌱

What does peace feel like?

- Peace feels like spending hours and hours just gazing at the clouds passing by.

- Peace feels like that warm heat that permeates your clothes while you are enjoying the sunshine

- Peace feels like being held and supported by Mother Earth while you're tending to your garden plants.

- Peace feels like being in your flow while you're writing that funny but beautiful poem

- Peace feels like being full of nostalgia while reminiscing about your past friendships and adventures

- Peace feels like that right sour taste of grapefruit going down your throat

- Peace feels like watching birds painting themselves on a blank canvas that is the sky

- Peace feels like being in a quiet house whilst listening to the dogs barking outside

- Peace feels like going to bed late on a Friday night knowing there's no need to wake up early tomorrow

- Peace feels like being happy at any moment because all your needs are met

- Peace feels like home