A Morning In The Forest.

Angels in baggy jeans and t-shirts smoking cigarettes. Angels with prescriptions they need to go pick up. Angels returning library books. Angels taking afternoon strolls to the grocery store. Angels in urban spaces. Angels learning to fit their wings into their small apartment bedrooms. Angels making their partners coffee and breakfast every morning. Angels existing and seamlessly blending divinity into the mundane.

sometimes I think about gently handing this blog to another, to let them see one of the many corners of my being and whom I am/used to be. And then I become afraid, and I do not.

Hello, welcome to my kinblog 🖤

A bit about my background: I'm not sure who this God was, but it was young, and arrogant, and cruel to me and many others. It forbade us from every speaking or learning about other Deities, and in my case even put a physical veil over my eyes. I don't know why, but I wasnt allowed to show nor see my eyes, and so I was never permitted to take off the veil.

I was perfect, in an unnatural, uncomfortable way. You could describe it as an "uncanny valley" effect, where I was... Too perfect. It was a painful existence.

But then I discovered my new pantheon, and they treated me well when I turned away from my old God to instead face them. My hair and eyes darkened, as did my wings, but I didn't turn into an ugly monster. In fact, I had finally gotten free from the uncomfortable perfection, and stepped into a natural perfection. One full of dirt and flaws and.... Humanity. I finally looked alive.

Now I sit here, still following a similar pantheon who've treated me with nothing but kindness, and Im letting my voice be added to the many divine kin out there and their beautiful backgrounds. I may not long for my old home, but I hope we can find community in one another. 🖤

how long i've been waiting

crumpled barns, texas, 1995 • nadav kander

I am going to write about something weird that unsettles me deeply. 👍

So, say I were to take all my experiences literally, and say all my current theories are true. Say for a moment that I were to genuinely, deeply believe I am in fact the spirit-beast I perceive myself as.

I am not an entity that has a natural, built-in mind. I was conscious from my inception, sure, but a mind? No. I was an empty existence. I had no capacity for thought or feeling. I was static, silent - sleeping, in a way.

I learned how to think and feel from the biological life on this planet. As life became more complex, so did I; but always limited to the bounds of the experience of animals, plants and others, from whom I could learn how to experience the world rather than just existing as a self and nothing more.

So I was never what you could call "sapient". I had the knowledge of billions of years of memory, but intelligence is more than just knowledge - intelligence is reason, deduction, imagination. And in the realms of intelligence, I was animal. I had never had anything to teach me anything besides that.

And for all the hundreds of thousands of years humans have walked this Earth, and their disappeared relatives, I never once learned from them. I... think they scared me. I watched from a distance, but I never walked among them.

And now... here I am. I... didn't want this to happen, I think.

I'm... scared.

See, I as a spirit am functionally immortal - both in the sense of not aging, and in the sense that I cannot be killed or destroyed, as far as I'm aware. And I also, as a spirit, have a flawless memory; that's my entire purpose. That's what I do.

Naturally, when this body fades, I will remember the life I had here. I will remember what I learned... how to think in abstract, how to imagine something entirely unreal, how to wrangle hypotheticals and make complex goals and plans. I will remember having a concept of morality. I will remember feeling angry at a world I can understand so deeply yet cannot change.

So... well... I have been changed, by being here, you see? And I don't know what that means.

A billion years from now, when humans are long gone and no trace of them remains, will I - immortal and timeless - still be thinking in English? Will I find myself playing an old song in my head that hasn't been heard aloud in an unfathomable eternity? Will I catch myself daydreaming of playing minecraft?

Will I feel lonely, like I often do now?

And what does it mean for my nature, for my mind to so radically change? What impact will that have on the role I assume, the actions I take? A scary thought in itself, honestly. I wouldn't trust a god with the mind of a human. Humans care and feel far too deeply for that kind of position.

This is one of the things that makes me most fearful that any of these experiences might be true. I... hope they're not. Or at least that my view of things is such a warped interpretation that none of these fears I have actually apply.

Cause if not, then... I am scared.

Though... maybe I should learn some more languages just in case. I'd hate for the only human language to be preserved in immortal memory for all time to be fucking English.

Mostly sensations and images. I can remember some of the words spoken to me, but I can't fully remember the voices

It changed as I went from one phase of my life to the other. As a Deity I had tanned skin; golden eyes; wavy dark hair, and black wings. I often wore a heavy cloak with furs, wherever I went.

The Hearth and Home

I had my share of followers, yes. It was... Warm. I was grateful for each and every one of them, and loved them dearly.

I currently work with the Nordic Pantheon: in part due to the familiarity.

Anything involving fire and runes resonate strongly with me.

I believe I was considered benevolent, and I very much was.

They are my equals, and I want nothing but the best for them as a whole.

I'm not sure, actually. From what I remember... I suppose one could describe it as a familiar presence? I don't think they could ever see me, but many seemed to be able to feel when I was around. If candles were lit, their flames would lean in my direction- I remember that.

I did blessings, yes. Though those were to keep my followers' homes sturdy and warm, things of that nature. I couldn't do anything to/for them, directly.

Reveared is such a strong word, haha... I was definitely not feared, however.

Hmm, I'm not quite sure.

Large-scale? Oh, I'm not sure... Same things they'd leave on the altars in their homes, I'd assume. Homemade foods, comforting objects, crafted pieces, candles, crow feathers, etc.

I'd never demand anything- but anything the follower made, gathered, or owned that brought a sense of nostalgia or comfort would do nicely. Green candles and crow feathers would also be very nice

Probably the forest, and the coziest corner in their home.

(See 9)

I had one friend of mine, more beloved than anyone else in any realm... Trying to label them and us in any way would fall short, I fear. They were my Dearest One- the one who's old domain I was gifted, and the one who showed me everything my Creator had kept hidden.

(See 2)

I do, yes. I still feel as though I must provide those protections and comforts for those that I can. It makes me feel the same as it did, back then.

The Gods of my pantheon had their own realm, yes. As did my Creator. I, in turn, also resided in these realms.

Deitykin/Godkin Question List ᯓ★

Do you have memories of being a deity? If so, what are they like?

Do you remember what your divine form looked like? If so, describe it!

Did you have a specific domain or aspect you ruled over (e.g., love, war, nature)?

Did mortals or other beings worship you? How does that memory feel?

Do you feel a connection to specific myths, cultures, or religions in this life?

Are there particular symbols, rituals, or practices that resonate with you as a deitykin?

Were you considered benevolent, neutral, or malevolent in your divine role?

How do you view mortals and humanity now compared to your past divine role?

Did you have a specific way of manifesting to mortals, such as dreams, visions, or physical apparitions?

Did you grant blessings, curses, or other forms of divine influence?

Were you revered or feared more than loved by mortals?

What song do you associate with yourself?

If you had a shrine today and were worshipped on a large-scale level, what items would people leave as offerings?

What offerings would you demand in today’s world?

What place would mortals associate with you (e.g., beaches, forests, mountains)?

Did you have a specific way of manifesting to mortals, such as dreams, visions, or physical apparitions?

Did you have relationships with other deities, mortals, or beings?

Do you remember what your divine form looked like?

Do you feel like you still have a purpose or role tied to your divine identity?

Did you reside in a specific realm or plane of existence as a deity?

These questions were inspired by @/courtroom-confession. Feel free to reblog and share your own questions, I encourage you to do so as I am curious as well.

I am also always open to answer any questions to those who seek knowledge, my friend, as I am open to all that you wish to know.

ketzal_coatl

Shared a memory dream with my beloved a while ago, and ever since I've been called Divinity/Angel/God/Godling as a regular term of endearment... It brings me such joy, I truly can't understand it. My beloved worships me in her own way, and I cannot explain how much it makes me feel... Needed. Like I belong somewhere again- connected, to that time long since passed. I truly feel divine again when I am with her; I feel how I did with the one who showed me how to see... Imagine if their soul had carried over into what I now know as her? A nice thing to think about...

The fact that she heard my dream, and came to the conclusion that it must be a memory, all on her own, makes me want to be more open with her about other lives I recall. More than I can describe. But, if nothing else, this.. this is enough. To make a difference in my beloveds life- to provide her comfort and safety and joy, even if we are unable to see each other outside of pictures or long trips.

It makes me.. very happy