Inkenvious - Ink

blame the “hitting on your mom as a punishment” tiktok i just saw that literally blew my brain up. established because they’re disgustingly in love and because i say so

Eddie would normally consider himself pretty immune to the roar of arguing teenagers. Chaos surrounds their little Party. They’re not a quiet bunch when all together. It’s all shoving and yelling, giggling and roughhousing. Carpet-burned battle scars from the floor of Steve’s living room.

Lord knows Eddie himself wasn’t an inside-voice kind of person. He was certainly wont to standing on coffee tables and screeching demands for the remote when it was unjustly stolen away by villainous hands.

Eddie loved these people to death, and they were a lot of fucking fun to hang out with, it’s just this…this was an unreal level of noise. A normal sleepover night turned a little too rowdy, the adolescents celebrating the start of Summer with a bang.

Steve had already asked them to keep it down four times this evening. Nothing seemed to calm them. Not requests. Not threats of being sent home. Usually their Dungeon Master threatening their characters’ souls did the trick, but no go. 

Getting teenagers to listen? A feat more impossible than defeating creatures from an alternate universe. 

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Please take good care of them!

please?

if you’re reading this

a lump sum of money is on the way to you

https://www.thedailybeast.com/state-department-to-lgbt-married-couples-your-out-of-wedlock-kids-arent-citizens

Further 'Steve plays D&D' shenanigans.

He plays in what the party call 'baby's first campaign', the off tangent, more chaotic and lighter campaign that Eddie's running.

He doesn't play properly, because he has zero interest in D&D at all. Eddie lets him get away with it, which everyone else finds unfair, but 'tough shit kiddies, DM's word is law'.

Steve's only character requirement is that he always has 'the bag thing' (aka the bag of holding) and mostly uses it as a weapon. Annoying NPCs, enemies or fellow party members? In the bag they go, and in the bag they suffocate. Only worthy enemies get to be killed by his sword.

He doesn't remember character names or races, instead giving them a nickname and number. (ie frog guy 1, frog dude 2). Jeff and Lucas pick up on this immediately and join in.

At first he doesn't know which of his dice to use and when. Eddie gets used to just handing him the right one...so now Steve automatically holds his hand out whenever he needs to roll. (It's much quicker.)

Once everyone knows that he and Eddie are dating, he openly and blatantly tries to negotiate re-rolls for kisses during their smoke/snack breaks (and sometimes things written down on scrap paper that makes Eddie's eyes go wide). It works most of the time, and the kids hate it, even though it works in their favour.

Steve and Eddie clash only once, when Steve's first character dies early on. Eddie hands him another character sheet, very similar, and Steve immediately names him the same name. Eddie tells him no. Steve argues for a while before looking him right in the eye and changes just the first letter of his name instead (ie Rob instead of Bob).

Steve has zero connection to his character. It's just a fun game to him, but the others take it way, way more seriously. Open the booby trapped chest? Sure, Steve will do it. Drink the potential poison? Why not! Eddie will just give him a new character if it goes wrong. There's no actual consequences, unlike the Upside Down stuff.

Everything is a NAT roll to Steve, not just 20 and 1. Nat 4, Nat 8, the whole lot. Dustin hates it so damn much.

He tries to get as many NPCs to join their party as he can, mainly so Eddie can be 'part of their team' too, instead of 'just playing the bad guys'. Eddie tells him that's not how it works, but Steve's insistent.

In combat Steve WILL waste his potions of healing if one of the party annoyed him recently. Gareth was once rolling death saves, and Steve ignored him to heal a non fatal wound on NPC #24 instead. Gareth nearly walked out, but Will took pity on him and healed him on his turn.

It's a completely different atmosphere to the 'serious' campaign, but that's what makes it more fun. Even though Steve's main goal is to annoy the rest of Hellfire and prove that their nerdy game is supposed to be fun, they don't seem to actually mind.

In fact, they love it when Steve argues back with Eddie. None of them will do it, but the DM threats just don't work on Steve. He had to roll disadvantage all night? He rolls shit anyway. Threats to kill his character off? Steve doesn't care.

And on the other hand, flattery, flirting and outright bribery works so well on Eddie that it's kind of pathetic. Steve knows that Eddie wants him there and takes full advantage to get what the party wants.

Eddie refuses to let him join the main campaign because of it.

memeception

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