you’re so pretty yet so unaware of it
“And then her heart changed, or at least she understood it; and the winter passed, and the sun shone upon her.”
— J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
That one hit hard tho
Well, I just need to accept the fact that everyone’s disappointed in me, my best friend, my parents… And the one person I truly have feelings for doesn’t need me either. I just want to disappear.
Excited for what?
Disappointment
Or love?
Not if it was real…
More like a thrill.
This is all so fake
Like the thought
Of living in peace
But still
I hope for something
That will never be clear.
Isn’t it obvious?
Aren’t you self-conscious?
Drowning in idealism
But need more realism.
I’m happy now
So happy I could cry
Or laugh
Smiling alone at my room
Seeing everything in pink
You know
With those rose tinted glasses.
I’m delighted
Relieved.
Should stay that way.
But there is something
When I close my eyes
You still haunt me.
I really should not think about it
There is someone special who makes me happy
So what do you want from me?
Why can’t you leave me the way you did in April?
That went totally easily
Not for me
For you especially.
I won’t beg you to go away
But keep in mind
What you left is pain.
When I stargaze you pop up in my mind
Again after every damage
I wish I could erase you
I don’t need you
Neither do you
All in all
Just let me be
Don’t come up in my dreams
Leave my memories clean
Push yourself away.
And finally
Let me live.
“do we share the same moon?~”
You were my last hope
And now there’s no way to cope.
I’m getting too low,
don’t want to take more.
This makes no sense,
As we’re just friends,
I might need new lens
as I don’t see through this mess.