Invidere

Pet peeve:

someone makes a statement on how society socializes women to focus on their appearance and dress up in ways men never have to in order to look good/feel good/and feel valued but now comes another woman [choice feminist] saying: ‘But if you want to wear makeup it’s your choice! Remember it’s always okay to do what’s best for you!”

The mere idea that it is women alone who are expected to perform beauty rituals to simply be comfortable enough to exist in many places makes you uncomfortable. You jump to defend make-up despite no one condemning make-up in totality… look at our feminists!

I am currently very afraid of being stupid and dumb. It’s the worst thing one can be. I’m afraid I’ll dumb down even more I can’t imagine living a life where I’m stupid and dumb and I continue to get more stupid and dumb. It’s my nightmare I need to exercise my brain

The pattern persists and I see it playing Out how will it all end Will I save myself Is there something else for me

Sappho, If Not Winter: Fragments of Sappho (tr. by Anne Carson)

We need science literacy. Now.

Ordered a linear algebra text book. Came today. Very pleased. Flipped through it and frowned. What is this! I plan to read through it a bit before classes start this fall because I’m taking diff eq and linear algebra and I am quite unfamiliar with linear algebra

I need people to stop interpreting my fear as regret. Let me feel afraid. Let me have the courage to do what I want and if I become afraid in the process, don’t interpret that as regret and argue I was better off doing something else! I feel afraid very often and if this fear is indeed regret maybe I should kill myself

Woe is you… and, what else?

I have an intuition the chain rule was used here but I don’t have sufficient knowledge of differential equations to understand fully how it works

No one has ever wanted to kiss me or hold me No one has been in love with me. And thus no one has loved me the way I want them to