From Now On, Whenever I Catch Myself Thinking About A Man, I’ll Replace These Thoughts With Positive

how to follow your dreams ˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊

𝜗𝜚⋆ 1. try to get in touch with your dreams. what do you dream about in your life? what future makes you feel alive exited inspired and energized?

𝜗𝜚⋆ 2. read blogs books or stories about other people who are following their hearts or living your dreams. try to get ideas and inspiration from them.

𝜗𝜚⋆ 3. talk to people who will support you and encourage you not to give up.

𝜗𝜚⋆ 4. determine what is important to you and what may hinder you on the path to your dream. for example the opinions of others fear of ridicule or failure the need to earn money and be financially secure. do they matter more and will they stop you from achieving your goals especially when there are obstacles scattered along your path?

𝜗𝜚⋆ 5. start taking steps and making changes in your life. as long as you just imagine scenarios your life will remain the same. you need to plan and take action to change reality.

𝜗𝜚⋆ 6. if something doesn’t work then this is not a reason to give up but this is also not a reason to continue in the same spirit. you need to reconsider your strategy and understand why it isn't working for you. then come up with a new plan and try again.

𝜗𝜚⋆ 7. believe in yourself - and continue to strive for your dreams. what's truly worth will require effort and commitment on your part.

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

Glow-up tips that actually work from your favourite beauty girly (me)

Hot girls don't gatekeep, so here are some of my favourite glow-up tips that actually work. <3

Skin

Find a skincare routine that works for you!! It took me years to find mine, but now my skin is literally perfect. <3 (let me know if you guys want a detailed skincare routine!!)

Don't pick your skin, the less you touch your face, the better.

I believe ice rollers are bs…

If you struggle with dark circles, don't try fixing them through skincare. Most likely, the problem comes from your diet or stress.

Dry brushing is a game-changer!!

Use lotion after every shower and apply a body spray before the lotion is fully absorbed into your skin. You'll smell amazing for DAYS.

Don't try homemade skincare if you already struggle with your skin. I learned it the hard way, lol…

WASH YOUR MAKEUP BRUSHES

Hair

The more heat you use, the more damage you'll have.

SILK PILLOWCASES

Never sleep with wet or damp hair.

Stop buying cheap shampoo and conditioner, also make sure to check the ingredients!!

Some ingredients to avoid: Sulfates, Parabens, Polyethene Glycols, Triclosan, Formaldehyde, Synthetic Fragrances and Colors, Dimethicone, Retinyl Palmitate.

I trim my hair every 3 months.

If you have damaged hair, invest in some Olaplex!! my favourites are N4c, N6 and N7. <3

Diet

green juice actually makes you feel better. I make mine at home and LOVE it :)

Balance is key!! I swear by the 80/20 rule.

Drink more water, even if you think you're drinking enough. DRINK MORE

Keto is BS <3

Focus on eating more protein. Usually, low-fat products have more protein, so I just try to buy those, lol.

I eat gluten-free, not by choice… But it did clear my acne, so…

Take supplements, get a blood test done, discuss it with a doctor and start taking whatever they recommend. GAME CHANGER.

EAT MORE VEGETABLES and fruits.

Lifestyle

Focus on being more active, walk more, workout, join a club or sport, dance, whatever works for you!!

I aim for 10K steps, I live in a big city, so I usually walk more than that but still.

Hobbies that don't include screen time. Trust me.

Find your personal style and ALWAYS dress up. <3

TREAT YOURSELF. Buy yourself flowers, and presents, go to your favourite restaurants, vacations!!

Read more. As a classics lover, I can't imagine a life without literature, but even if you don't like classics, any book is better than no book!!

Take more pictures. I've noticed that I have become a lot more present since I've started taking more pictures!! highly recommend :)

I hate to say this, but getting up earlier is lowkey kinda great... been doing it for a few weeks, and unfortunately, I do feel better... they were right...

Get a cat. :)

Mindset

Stop assuming that everyone hates you, they don't, trust me.

Journaling, manifesting, law of attraction, affirmations.

one of my favourite affirmations: "if I weren't capable, the opportunity wouldn't have come my way; I belong here." <3

Stop hanging out with people who drain your energy

stop consuming media that makes you feel bad.

What would the highest version of yourself do?

If you change your mindset, you will change your life.

Romanticise every aspect of your life. <3

As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions and glow-up tips in the comments! <3

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

🎀30 Day Glow Up Challenge 🎀 - day three

♡ Mindset : Staying off of social media has been helping me with not comparing myself to others. I forgot to read for 10 minutes today I was so busy running around no excuses I’ll make up for it by reading 20 minutes tomorrow. My mindset was so good yesterday my positive self talk has definitely been working I felt so good about myself today and I got a lot of compliments. When you feel good you look good it all starts within. I need to take time to do my affirmations and journaling I fell off of journaling and it’s been hard to get back on track but I will put more effort to get it done.

♡ Health : I was doing so well and I cheated on my meal plan. But it’s okay tomorrow is a better day. I’ve been drinking so much water after Ramadan I was struggling with my water intake but luckily I’ve been finding a way to up my water in take. Walking is my favorite form of movement I’ve hit my step goal today. I’ve start with 3K steps and hopefully at the end of this challenge I’ll be walking 5K steps daily. Start small and then work your way up to 10K steps. If you’re able to walk 10K steps daily that’s amazing.

♡ Self Care : I’ve invested so much into my skin care routine and I’m getting results 5 months of dedication and not only have I realized but other people around me have and have been asking for my skin care routine. Setting a bed time has been so helpful I don’t stay up past 10:30pm I wake up so energized and ready to start my day.

♡ Experience : Learning Italian has been so much funnn. I want to go to Italy one day and I hope I’m somewhat fluent and can communicate and understand the language at that time. I’ve created plans for spring break with some new friends I can’t wait we are planning on going to a all day spa, Korean hot pot, and other fun places I’m excited to report back to you girliessss<3333

I was going to make these weekly but I decided to make them daily I would love to know how your challenge is going tell me below<3333

she wasn’t trying to win, she was trying to prove something | spencer hastings

everyone loves spencer hastings because she’s brilliant. because she’s intense. because she’s always ten steps ahead. but what no one talks about enough is how exhausting it is to live like that, to be the best, all the time, because it feels like if you’re not winning, you’re nothing.

you don’t just wake up one day addicted to achievement. it’s a defense mechanism. it’s the result of being told, either directly or indirectly, that love is something you earn. approval, security, pride... they’re all made into things you chase, not things you deserve by default. and for girls like spencer (and girls like us), the chase becomes your whole personality.

this post is for that version of you: the one who doesn’t know how to slow down. who feels guilty for resting. who is so busy proving she’s good enough that she doesn’t even know what she wants anymore, only that she has to win.

but glowettee girls don’t just burn out. we decode the burnout. and we build something better from the pieces.

✧ step one: admit that your ambition isn’t always healthy (and that’s okay)

spencer’s ambition was her superpower, but also her coping mechanism. it was how she kept her identity intact in a family that prioritized image over emotion. it was how she filled the silence when she didn’t feel seen. and that’s the thing no one tells you: you can be extremely high-functioning and still deeply emotionally neglected.

if you recognize yourself in that, it doesn’t mean you’re broken or dramatic. it means you learned to survive in a way that made you successful but not necessarily fulfilled. and that awareness? that’s your power now.

start asking yourself: › what part of my ambition is actually a response to fear? › am i working towards something real. or just running from feeling “not enough”? › if i stopped being productive for a while, would i still feel like i mattered?

this isn’t about throwing away your drive. it’s about reclaiming it. so that your success stops being a trauma response and starts becoming a conscious, joyful path.

✧ step two: stop tying your worth to how well you’re doing

this is one of the hardest lessons for spencer-coded girls to learn. you’ve spent so long being “the smart one,” “the responsible one,” “the one who gets things done,” that the idea of being average... or even just not ahead, feels terrifying.

but the truth is, your value doesn’t fluctuate based on how impressive you are today. you are allowed to be exhausted. to take breaks. to not know what’s next. to be unsure and still deserving of kindness.

practical reframes that help:

› “i am not only worthy when i am productive.” › “it’s not my job to be exceptional every single day.” › “i do not have to earn rest, i’m already allowed to feel okay.” › “getting ahead means nothing if i don’t feel like myself at the end of it.”

your worth is not your grades, your resume, your discipline. your worth is how gently you treat yourself when things don’t go according to plan. and how brave you are for trying again, but this time, with love.

✧ step three: identify where the pressure is really coming from

one of spencer’s most iconic traits is her constant pressure to be better, to prove herself to her parents, to compete with melissa, to always be right. and a lot of girls pick up this energy without even realizing it.

so let’s break it down.

when you’re pushing yourself too hard, ask:

› who am i trying to impress right now? › what am i trying to prove, and to who? › would i still want this if no one else saw it?

sometimes the answer is “my parents.” sometimes it’s “my younger self who was bullied.” sometimes it’s “the girl who made me feel small in 10th grade.” whatever it is... naming it gives you control back. it turns a subconscious obsession into a choice.

glowettee tip: start tracking your academic or glow-up goals with intention journals. write down why you want each thing. if the answer is rooted in love, curiosity, or your dream life. it stays. if it’s rooted in shame or needing to prove yourself, you rewrite it.

✧ step four: build a version of success that doesn’t destroy you

ambition doesn’t have to hurt. it doesn’t have to cost your health, your sleep, or your identity. but to get to that place, you need to reimagine what success actually looks like.

spencer's biggest downfall was never that she worked hard, it was that she never let herself pause. she never believed she was enough without the accomplishments. so let’s fix that.

your version of success should include:

› slow mornings with your journal and a matcha › deep focus sessions that leave you proud, not drained › goals that light you up instead of haunting you › people who see you beyond your output › a sense of peace when you're doing “nothing”

you deserve a version of success that feels like coming home to yourself, not escaping who you are.

✧ step five: learn how to forgive yourself for not being ahead

this is the softest, hardest part. if you’ve ever stared at someone else's instagram story or grades or glow-up and felt that sinking feeling of “i’m so behind,” this part is for you.

glowettee girls don’t pretend they’re immune to comparison. we just reframe it.

spencer always felt like she was playing catch-up, even if it was to melissa, to her parents' expectations, or to some imaginary version of perfection. but she was always enough. the problem was never her ability. it was her belief.

if you’re feeling behind:

› remember you are living your own plotline, not anyone else’s › take inventory of how far you’ve come, even if it’s invisible to others › allow yourself to grieve the time you lost to stress, fear, or self-doubt › forgive yourself for surviving the only way you knew how, even if it meant overworking

being “ahead” means nothing if you don’t feel grounded in your body, your heart, your softness. you’re allowed to pause. you’re allowed to rest. and you’re still powerful even when you do nothing but exist.

♡ mindy’s personal tip:

i used to think that if i didn’t get everything right, i’d disappoint everyone, my family, my future self, the version of me that’s supposed to be a doctor-ceo-academic-goddess. but slowly, i realized the pressure was inside me. and that i could be ambitious and gentle at the same time.

now i schedule in breaks like i schedule study sessions. i romanticize rest like i romanticize hustle. and i remind myself every day: i am not just a girl chasing goals... i am a girl creating a life.

so are you.

xoxo mindy

⋆ this post was inspired by my free workbook on trauma-coded ambition, it's for the overachiever girls who can't rest without guilt. grab it here:

Gumroad

deprogramming your trauma-coded ambition — a workbook for overachiever girls

for the girls who were always “the smart one.”for the gifted kids who became burnout adults.for the ones who can’t stop striving, even when

the real luxuries 💐☁️🩰🍃 :

rom-com marathons

beach days

a comfort water bottle

online shopping without fear of overspending

finding the perfect summer outfit

friend dates

self-care days

daily exercise

daily sweet treat

a good nights sleep

seeing colorful sunsets

slow mornings

workouts for when you don’t want to workout

40 minute yoga workout by lena snow: https://youtu.be/mSpUQMyXYoI?si=n5HB4UeAK2N2joJZ

20 minute slow full body workout by madfit: https://youtu.be/GB5uPT4W6p8?si=7OtK425XUASyOnBS

15 minute slow full body workout by madfit: https://youtu.be/M6m_t10WlfU?si=U_bi7zfbA9zugdUV

15 minute upper body by oppserve: https://youtu.be/3XRzNhPwstg?si=fgEflM6SBysNDaeo

10 minute anti-bloating cardio by blogilates: https://youtu.be/lQDrPsPodA0?si=YelVW1qHeY3Skmie

30 minute pilates for when you are sick by livaligned pilates: https://youtu.be/GZ-6qjHfH14?si=l-mwldr6FyQSAm9p

literally anything by growwithjo (her workouts are a major serotonin boost!)

activities to improve your life

(in no way do you have to do these or all of them in order to improve, these ade just little things to do to help you feel good about yourself <3)

- go on walks outside, or just get outside in someway. in the summers my boyfriend and I would walk a couple blocks to get a snowcone. now that's its spring I walk to the gas station near by to pick up energy drink for my boyfriend (spring semester)

- wake up earlier, now this one is important to me because I am a huge morning person and so is everyone in my family. but some people aren't naturally morning people. so dont feel like im saying wake up at 5am. I more mean wake up with enough time to enjoy your morning and look forward to the day, you don't want to rush to get ready

- drink an appropriate amount of water, I personally aim for about 60oz now, which I don't hot everyday, but when I first started trying to drink more water I started out with 20oz because I just wasn't drinking water. so don't push yourself because you'll only hate the water rather than appreciate what it can do for you

- journal every day. I normally don't journal about my day until the next morning as I reflect on the previous day, because I don't want the day to "end" before it's actually over. but I try to write reviews about episodes of the shows i like or take notes over my audiobooks and try to think about why I like/dislike them. I find that this helps me so that whenever I start getting emotionally overwhelmed to slow down and put into words what's wrong rather than just being overwhelmed

- working out to feel good rather than look good. I've had a terrible relationship with my body most of my life and so by working out to feel good i have different goals and schedules i followed than when I was trying to lose weight, and it's helping like my body even if it's not changing how it looks. I try to exercise at least 3 days a week, but if I don't feel good enough to i don't force myself (the walks outside are exercise too, so thats also helping me feel good even if I eat a snowcone immediately afterwards ^^)

- positive affirmations. I really struggle with this one, but I have a widget on my phone that rotates through different ones and im liking the ones that are good and at the end of the week in my journal I wrote them all out.

- look for long lasting happiness over short term happiness. this one is a lot harder i just wanted to add it on the end because sometimes I put off doing something I know will make me happy in the end because of short term gratification. I normally feal with this by letting them merge if I can (so like everything shower tiktoks while I get ready for my shower)

I can hear the birds on the roof!! it truly is spring!♡

Project Model

I sulk way too much, I get depressed and fall into my bad habits, sleeping late, overthinking and maladaptive daydreaming; I am through letting my mind get to me. I will fix my mentality by finding the root of my issues and working on healing the wounds. For the next few months I will be turning into my “Model” self; reaching my goals, teaching myself things I don’t know and improving my life.

Phase 1 - Mentality

My model has the mentality of a monk, she worries about nothing and focuses on the present, she avoids temptation easily and never has second thoughts. She doesn’t know what insecurity is and always believes in herself.

Phase 2 - Health

My model doesn’t consume processed food or fast food! She knows the damage that they cause and has no intent on becoming a diabetic or overweight, she doesn’t suffer from insomnia and can sleep as soon as she hits the bed, she always gets 8 or more hours of rest. She loves to workout! Exercise is her best pal and she loves it unconditionally.

Phase 3 - Hygiene

My model is obsessed with being hygienic, she showers every day or every other day,

She has a strict shower routine that she goes by and never changes. Her dental health is good hands, she watches lectures by professionals and uses non chemical grade toothpastes on her teeth. She always looks clean and smells amazing.

Phase 4 - Faith

My model follows her own path in faith, she prays to God and keeps in touch with her Ancestors, she recites ancient Kongolese chants and keeps in touch with her culture. She reads the Bible and practices the scriptures as she goes on about life.

Phase 5 - Facial Aesthetics

My model has a very symmetrical face, her smile is even and her face is well balanced and defined, she accentuates her Afrocentric features in the most majestic ways.

Phase 6 - Body Aesthetics

My model has a perfect body, not society’s standard but her own, she has a slim figurewith curves and embraces her natural body by always keeping herself in shape.

Phase 7 - Hair Aesthetics

My model has type 4 hair and knows what her helps her hair best, her hair touches her knees and her fro is her crown 👑 Her hair is her veil and it embraces her beauty and grace.

Phase 8 - Voice tones

My model has an incredibly soft spoken voice, she speaks elegantly and clearly, she uses well thought sentences and has a strong sense of vocabulary, she is fluent in multiple languages and speaks all tongues in the most formal manner.

Phase 9 - Mannerisms

My model has exquisite manners, she shows her elegance while walking, sitting, eating, standing and so on, she always boasts her feminine energy by showcasing her manners and respect towards others.

Phase 10 - Education

My model is the smartest person I know, she is incredibly disciplined and dedicated to self studying. In her free time she writes research papers and studies linguistics in various languages. She has a profound love for Mathematics; the basics all the way to vector algebra. Her best subject is science, all types. She reads 24/7! You never see her without her nose in a book.

Phase 11 - Organization

My model is incredibly organized ✨ She has a planner as well as a tracker, for everything. School,bookkeeping, weight loss trackers, cleaning schedule. You name it she’s got it, she always keeps herself in check by writing all of her plans and goals down, she is the master of organization.

Phase 12 - Personality & Aura

My model naturally has an attractive aura, everyone feels safe in her presence and urges to be near her when given the chance, she is many people’s “safe spot” and enjoys the company and compassion of others. She has a good personality, always willing to listen to others and offer support, she doesn’t judge others and despises the idea of backstabbing. She is caring, soft and kind.

Phase 13 - Hobbies

My model has various hobbies, editing, sewing & Knitting, Cooking & Baking, Calligraphy and more. She balances out everything and is very talented at each one of them.