♡₊˚ 🧁・₊✧

she wasn’t trying to win, she was trying to prove something | spencer hastings

everyone loves spencer hastings because she’s brilliant. because she’s intense. because she’s always ten steps ahead. but what no one talks about enough is how exhausting it is to live like that, to be the best, all the time, because it feels like if you’re not winning, you’re nothing.

you don’t just wake up one day addicted to achievement. it’s a defense mechanism. it’s the result of being told, either directly or indirectly, that love is something you earn. approval, security, pride... they’re all made into things you chase, not things you deserve by default. and for girls like spencer (and girls like us), the chase becomes your whole personality.

this post is for that version of you: the one who doesn’t know how to slow down. who feels guilty for resting. who is so busy proving she’s good enough that she doesn’t even know what she wants anymore, only that she has to win.

but glowettee girls don’t just burn out. we decode the burnout. and we build something better from the pieces.

✧ step one: admit that your ambition isn’t always healthy (and that’s okay)

spencer’s ambition was her superpower, but also her coping mechanism. it was how she kept her identity intact in a family that prioritized image over emotion. it was how she filled the silence when she didn’t feel seen. and that’s the thing no one tells you: you can be extremely high-functioning and still deeply emotionally neglected.

if you recognize yourself in that, it doesn’t mean you’re broken or dramatic. it means you learned to survive in a way that made you successful but not necessarily fulfilled. and that awareness? that’s your power now.

start asking yourself: › what part of my ambition is actually a response to fear? › am i working towards something real. or just running from feeling “not enough”? › if i stopped being productive for a while, would i still feel like i mattered?

this isn’t about throwing away your drive. it’s about reclaiming it. so that your success stops being a trauma response and starts becoming a conscious, joyful path.

✧ step two: stop tying your worth to how well you’re doing

this is one of the hardest lessons for spencer-coded girls to learn. you’ve spent so long being “the smart one,” “the responsible one,” “the one who gets things done,” that the idea of being average... or even just not ahead, feels terrifying.

but the truth is, your value doesn’t fluctuate based on how impressive you are today. you are allowed to be exhausted. to take breaks. to not know what’s next. to be unsure and still deserving of kindness.

practical reframes that help:

› “i am not only worthy when i am productive.” › “it’s not my job to be exceptional every single day.” › “i do not have to earn rest, i’m already allowed to feel okay.” › “getting ahead means nothing if i don’t feel like myself at the end of it.”

your worth is not your grades, your resume, your discipline. your worth is how gently you treat yourself when things don’t go according to plan. and how brave you are for trying again, but this time, with love.

✧ step three: identify where the pressure is really coming from

one of spencer’s most iconic traits is her constant pressure to be better, to prove herself to her parents, to compete with melissa, to always be right. and a lot of girls pick up this energy without even realizing it.

so let’s break it down.

when you’re pushing yourself too hard, ask:

› who am i trying to impress right now? › what am i trying to prove, and to who? › would i still want this if no one else saw it?

sometimes the answer is “my parents.” sometimes it’s “my younger self who was bullied.” sometimes it’s “the girl who made me feel small in 10th grade.” whatever it is... naming it gives you control back. it turns a subconscious obsession into a choice.

glowettee tip: start tracking your academic or glow-up goals with intention journals. write down why you want each thing. if the answer is rooted in love, curiosity, or your dream life. it stays. if it’s rooted in shame or needing to prove yourself, you rewrite it.

✧ step four: build a version of success that doesn’t destroy you

ambition doesn’t have to hurt. it doesn’t have to cost your health, your sleep, or your identity. but to get to that place, you need to reimagine what success actually looks like.

spencer's biggest downfall was never that she worked hard, it was that she never let herself pause. she never believed she was enough without the accomplishments. so let’s fix that.

your version of success should include:

› slow mornings with your journal and a matcha › deep focus sessions that leave you proud, not drained › goals that light you up instead of haunting you › people who see you beyond your output › a sense of peace when you're doing “nothing”

you deserve a version of success that feels like coming home to yourself, not escaping who you are.

✧ step five: learn how to forgive yourself for not being ahead

this is the softest, hardest part. if you’ve ever stared at someone else's instagram story or grades or glow-up and felt that sinking feeling of “i’m so behind,” this part is for you.

glowettee girls don’t pretend they’re immune to comparison. we just reframe it.

spencer always felt like she was playing catch-up, even if it was to melissa, to her parents' expectations, or to some imaginary version of perfection. but she was always enough. the problem was never her ability. it was her belief.

if you’re feeling behind:

› remember you are living your own plotline, not anyone else’s › take inventory of how far you’ve come, even if it’s invisible to others › allow yourself to grieve the time you lost to stress, fear, or self-doubt › forgive yourself for surviving the only way you knew how, even if it meant overworking

being “ahead” means nothing if you don’t feel grounded in your body, your heart, your softness. you’re allowed to pause. you’re allowed to rest. and you’re still powerful even when you do nothing but exist.

♡ mindy’s personal tip:

i used to think that if i didn’t get everything right, i’d disappoint everyone, my family, my future self, the version of me that’s supposed to be a doctor-ceo-academic-goddess. but slowly, i realized the pressure was inside me. and that i could be ambitious and gentle at the same time.

now i schedule in breaks like i schedule study sessions. i romanticize rest like i romanticize hustle. and i remind myself every day: i am not just a girl chasing goals... i am a girl creating a life.

so are you.

xoxo mindy

⋆ this post was inspired by my free workbook on trauma-coded ambition, it's for the overachiever girls who can't rest without guilt. grab it here:

Gumroad

deprogramming your trauma-coded ambition — a workbook for overachiever girls

for the girls who were always “the smart one.”for the gifted kids who became burnout adults.for the ones who can’t stop striving, even when

even more mat workouts for when you don’t feel like standing

7 minute lazy girl full body workout by madfit

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10 minute inner thigh workout by eylem abaci

10 minute total body workout by lena snow

10 minute full body pilates by mizi

10 minute lying down workout for weight loss by mizi

12 minute brazilian butt lift by eylem abaci

12 minute full body pilates by pamela reif

15 minute lazy workout to burn fat by roberta’s gym

15 minute round booty & toned legs by eylem abaci

15 minute pilates booty workout by eylem abaci

15 minute thigh workout by pamela reif

15 minute lower abs by mizi

15 minute slimmer thighs by mizi

15 minute thighs by lena snow

15 minute burn thigh fat by lena snow

15 minute lower abs by hailey c.

20 minute intense pilates mat workout by boho beautiful yoga

20 minute total core by madfit

20 minute all mat workout for weight loss by roberta’s gym

20 minute gentle pilates flow by flow with mira

20 minute slim thighs workout by lena snow

20 minute belly & thighs workout by mizi

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20 minute jane fonda upper body workout by befit

25 minute mat pilates by flow with mira

30 minute pilates for strength by akshaya agnes

30 minute lazy ab workout by allblanc tv

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irresistibly sweet

“you literally smell edible, what scent is that?”

🍦💗 think warm sugar cookies, vanilla frosting, sweet cotton candy, and creamy cinnamon buns — the kind of scents that turn heads and have people wondering what just walked by (ps. its you!)

I went through my entire collection to find the best products that’ll have you smelling like a literal treat — whether you want fresh-baked vibes or full-on candy-coated goodness, these picks will leave a sweet trail wherever you go ❤︎ ˚₊‧

disclaimer: these are all recommendations based on the products I own. I have tried all of these products myself and can strongly recommend them

fragrances

1. Sweet Tooth - Sabrina Carpenter ( ❤︎ )

as a gourmand girlie, Sweet Tooth hits all the right spots for me. the scent is a burst of sweetness of marshmallow, sugar & ginger. the hint of ginger isn’t my favorite thing in the world, but it still dries down to smell super yummy

2. Fresh Cream Warm Cashmere - Philosophy ( ❤︎ )

this one is basically the older sister of sweet tooth. they smell nearly identical! this fragrance has all the sweetness of sweet tooth without the ginger note. this fragrance also lasts much longer on the skin and forever on clothes! def one of my favorites

3. Viva La Juicy Sucré - Juicy Couture ( ❤︎ )

I made a post going through the notes of this fragrance, and it’s so yummy! it smells super sweet with a hint of citrus. think candy and marshmallows mixed with citrus fruits

4. Tease Sugar Fleur - Victoria’s Secret ( ❤︎ )

my go to scent for the summer! but, it doesn’t smell anything like the name. this fragrance smells like a green candy apple with a super soft, floral feminine undertone. sweet, but in a fruity way

5. Warm Cookie (body mist) - VS Pink ( ❤︎ )

this one was a seasonal scent that came out in fall 2024, but will all be one of my favs from pink! with notes of gingerbread, vanilla icing, and gumdrops, the mist smells like a fruity sugar cookie. that might not sound appealing and it’s not the scentsome people were expecting, but I really love it!

lotions & body butters

1. Sweet Cream (body milk) - prty grl beauty ( ❤︎ )

sweet cream is mentioned many times in this post because its just sooo good! it literally smells like whipped cream and a vanilla ice cream cone. compared to all the other sweet cream products I’ve tried (body wash, body oil, etc) the body milk has a stronger sugary smell to it (which I love!)

2. Cinnamon Buns (body milk) - prty grl beauty ( ❤︎ )

smells exactly like cinammon rolls, but not as sweet as the matching body scrub in my opinion. the cinnamon is very strong in the body milk, and you might like that! I would recommend this pairing this with a vanilla lotion

3. Glazed Donut (body milk) - prty grl beauty ( ❤︎ )

words can’t explain my love for this scent. in the summer I love pairing this with the eos vanilla cashmere lotion. it smells exactly like a fresh box of donuts from krispy kreme mixed with fruit pebbles. it’s a very sweet scent and will forever be one of my favs!

4. Fresh Cream Warm Cashmere (lotion) - Philosophy ( ❤︎ )

smells just like warm baked cookies! this is a more mature gourmand vanilla as it smells like a less artificial version of bath and body works’ warm vanilla sugar. I usually pair it with the matching perfume and the sweet creem body oil from prty grl beauty. I smell just like a bakery!

5. Sugar Cookie (lotion) - Native ( ❤︎ )

the best way to describe this scent would be animal crackers + sugar cubes. it’s extremely sweet! this can be a good or bad thing, depending on what you like. if i’m going for a cupcake and sugar scent, i’ll grab this and lather it all over

shower products

1. Fresh Cream (body wash) - Philosophy ( ❤︎ )

“its perfect for those who like sweet, powdery, and soft scents”! this body wash is super lactonic compared to the warm cashmere version. it’s a very light scent which can make it underwhelming for some people, but perfect for layering with other products

2. Sugar Cookie (body wash) - Native ( ❤︎ )

smells identical to the lotion and hair products. I have almost all the products in this line and I can recommend all of them. with sugar, butter, and vanilla notes, you’ll step out of the shower smells delectable AF

3. Sugar Cookie (shampoo & conditioner) - Native ( ❤︎ )

these two are literally the key to having sweet smelling hair. I absolutely love using this combo on my hair! I would def recommend these products if you don’t know which yummy scented shampoo & conditioner to go with

4. Sweet Cream (body wash & scrub) - prty grl beauty ( ❤︎ )

omg…where do I even begin?! these two products smell sooo good and so sweet! literally a vanilla ice cream cone. as much as I love the smell of these, they’re extremely light in scent. i would recommend using a body wash from another brand before using this one

5. Cinnamon Buns (body scrub) - prty grl beauty ( ❤︎ )

smells exactly like cinnabon and freshly made cinnamon buns. if you like the smell of those, you’ll love this scrub. i pair it with the cinnamon buns body wash from philosophy as they go sooo well together!

body oils

1. Glazed Donut - prty grl beauty ( ❤︎ )

very similar scent to the matching body milk. I love the consistency with all the scents from this brand! if you love the smell of freshly made glazed donuts, you’ll love this. I like to layer this with other scents, but using this with the matching body milk will have you smelling so so sweet

2. Sweet Cream - prty grl beauty ( ❤︎ )

my all time favorite body oil!! it smells sooo sweet and yummy (my bf loves this one!) if you want to smell exactly like a vanilla cupcake, pair this with vanilla & dreamy from vs pink or eos vanilla cashmere. I will wear this scent till I die

3. Brown Sugar Baby - prty grl beauty ( ❤︎ )

sweet and strong. it smells exactly like brown sugar syrup with a hint of caramel and in my opinion the perfect body oil pairing with any vanilla lotion! I love pairing it with eos vanilla cashmere. this body oil will have you smelling delicious and edible!

honorable mentions

more product recs to consider ˚₊‧

1. Vanilla Cashmere (lotion) - eos ( ❤︎ )

one of the best layering lotions for gourmand perfumes and body oils! it goes so well with other baskery-esque scents. this lotion is a staple in any gourmand-lovers collection because of how great it is for layering

2. Sticky Dates (body spray) - Lush ( ❤︎ )

this is an extremely strong scent that I would only recommend using with another scent. this smells nearly identical to maple syrup and caramel. it’s sickeningly sweet (which you might like) but smells too much like maple syrup for me to wear on its own

3. Cake Pop (perfume oil) - prty grl beauty ( ❤︎ )

I really like this one! it smells like a sweet vanilla cake + icing, but not exactly like a birthday cake pop from starbucks. an extremely soft and subtle scent that I love using for my bakery smelling routines!

productive mornings ౨ৎ

‎ Preparing for a ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ one week digital detox

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ────────────

On the 24th of March, I will start a one week digital detox from social media. The rules will be made on a seperate post on Sunday, and I will continue making short updates everyday on how it will be going.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ────────────

Preparing

Over the weekend, I'll have to complete this list:

· set a screentime of 0 minutes to all social media apps (including YouTube on my phone)

· set a screentime of 1 hour on Tumblr and Pinterest

· turn off active notifications

· clean out my phone (gallery, usless apps, files...)

· set screen-free zones and hours

· make a new playlist (so I dont have to during the week)

· make a list on paper of things to do instead of using my phone

· plan my week

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ────────────

“don’t lie, don’t cheat, and don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

— Unknown

🎀30 Day Glow Up Challenge 🎀 - day three

♡ Mindset : Staying off of social media has been helping me with not comparing myself to others. I forgot to read for 10 minutes today I was so busy running around no excuses I’ll make up for it by reading 20 minutes tomorrow. My mindset was so good yesterday my positive self talk has definitely been working I felt so good about myself today and I got a lot of compliments. When you feel good you look good it all starts within. I need to take time to do my affirmations and journaling I fell off of journaling and it’s been hard to get back on track but I will put more effort to get it done.

♡ Health : I was doing so well and I cheated on my meal plan. But it’s okay tomorrow is a better day. I’ve been drinking so much water after Ramadan I was struggling with my water intake but luckily I’ve been finding a way to up my water in take. Walking is my favorite form of movement I’ve hit my step goal today. I’ve start with 3K steps and hopefully at the end of this challenge I’ll be walking 5K steps daily. Start small and then work your way up to 10K steps. If you’re able to walk 10K steps daily that’s amazing.

♡ Self Care : I’ve invested so much into my skin care routine and I’m getting results 5 months of dedication and not only have I realized but other people around me have and have been asking for my skin care routine. Setting a bed time has been so helpful I don’t stay up past 10:30pm I wake up so energized and ready to start my day.

♡ Experience : Learning Italian has been so much funnn. I want to go to Italy one day and I hope I’m somewhat fluent and can communicate and understand the language at that time. I’ve created plans for spring break with some new friends I can’t wait we are planning on going to a all day spa, Korean hot pot, and other fun places I’m excited to report back to you girliessss<3333

I was going to make these weekly but I decided to make them daily I would love to know how your challenge is going tell me below<3333

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