Not Yearning Not Longing But A Worse Third Thing

Reblog if it’s ok for your mutuals to just send you posts they think you’d like or talk to you about random parts of their day

Byun-Chul Han, The Disappearance of Rituals

I want scrambled eggs w butter rosemary and Parmesan on toast but the truth is I’m not hungry and my taste buds are dull and sick, it won’t taste as good as I imagine, but I don’t know how to soothe myself when I feel like this! Feeling a little alone wish I had a girl friend I could meet for late night coffee and conversation weep weep

“I need to fall in love with a hopeless romantic. Someone who would tell me that my eyes are like the stars at night and how my morning bed hair looks like a windswept forest that dances whenever the sky cries every time the ocean quenches her thirst for love. Someone who believes in fate, destiny, and magic. Someone who believes that finding true love is a necessity to cope up with the sadness and agony that life brings. Someone who believes that I exist.”

— Juansen Dizon, Confessions of a Wallflower page 111  

“The word ‘naked’ is a translation of the Hebrew erom, which is used to describe a state of being stripped or vulnerable, and is without sexual connotation. […] Called out by God, Adam says: ‘I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.’ His nakedness, erom, merely implies vulnerability. Perhaps Adam and Eve hid from God not because they were suddenly prudish, nor because their disobedience had been found out, but because they realised their fragility and insignificance. They were exposed, not as sexual beings but as mortal ones.”

— Anne Enright, The Genesis of Blame

this endless toil (that i’m unable to perform) is getting to me

for no particular reason, now seems like a good time to read "on tyranny" by timothy snyder. which teaches how dictatorships work and how one may navigate living under one. I am starting it now myself and will report back on what I learn.

he's the one who coined "don't obey in advance," meaning do not obey a law that does not exist yet. in our current situation, that means not doing things like try to scrub your internet presence of any sign of queerness, because being queer is currently legal in the USA and you are acting like it is not.

the impulse to anticipate is understandable, especially with such high stakes. but if you retreat before you are attacked, you lose before the fight begins. resist. connect to community and stand together. we need courage now, and we need each other.

we don't need to become small and fearful and alone, trying to blend in with nazis to save our own skins. and remember to whom that option is even available, and to whom it is not. we must prioritize protecting the latter groups of people and each other, collectively.

inside of you is courage you cannot even begin to imagine yet. what you have to do is keep the door open for it and be brave enough to care for your community. resist the temptation to just look out for number one instead.