The People Are Yearning For Battinson/corensupes Superbat (i Am People)

Okay, so hear me out. There are species of animals that reject their offspring if they don’t “smell” right. Like something about the pheromones are off and thus the vibes are bad. You can’t be mine, you smell funny. Similarly, we know that hormones and neurochemical reactions play a large part in bonding between human babies and parents. Our brains are swimming in chemicals that have us looking at our squishy, decidedly odd-looking newborns and saying “it’s so cute, I wanna bite it.”

My dudes (gender neutral). My people. My fellow nerds. Superman initially rejecting his clone because he doesn’t smell right. The kid was in a soup of artificial, clone-making chemicals and he doesn’t smell like he should. But what the fuck is he supposed to smell like? Superman having no frame of reference for this crazy feeling, for this intense dislike of a person with his face, and struggling internally with it because he knows logically that this deep revulsion doesn’t make sense. Problem is, he physically can’t help it. Something about this kid makes his teeth itch and his fingers twitch.

Then the kid takes a shower and changes his clothes and oh. Why would I push him away? That’s my baby. Hate him? How could I hate my baby? My baby. My sweet, perfect, amazing angel baby. My baby. My baby. My baby. Mybabymybabymybabymybaby.

And it’s probably hilarious from the outside looking in, because Superman looked ready to light the kid on fire a minute ago and now he’s all gooey-eyed. No thoughts, just sappy smiles and burying his nose in the clone’s hair. He’s ready to pluck the moon from the sky and hang it on a string for his kid. It’s sweet and adorable.

It’s also completely, utterly terrifying. Seeing how quickly one of the strongest beings in the known universe fell victim to his own biology, how wildly the pendulum swung from one extreme to the other. Batman’s immediately planning a trip to the Fortress to gather intel on this reaction. How long does it last? Is it normal? Is it supposed to be like this? Does it have anything to do with the clone being a teenager and not a newborn? Would it be worse with a newborn? Does the League, does he need contingency plans for this?

And Superman—Clark recognizes the sudden shift, but can’t do a thing about it. He should be scared of how every concern in his mind gets swept away by this out-of-control hormonal response, but he doesn’t want to do a thing about it. He can’t help the smile plastered on his face when Kon—what a perfect name, a beautiful name for my baby, mybabymybabyMYbabymyBABYMYBABYMYBABYMYBABY—sighs contently in his sleep or scrunches his nose in disgust at new foods, new sensations.

Something in Clark’s eyes says “I don’t know what’s happening, help me,” but it quickly gets snuffed out by “I will flip this entire universe over if a single hair on my baby’s head is out of place.” And honestly? Yeah, it’s scary, but every parent he knows—Bruce included—totally gets it.

reblog if you're gay, not gay, slightly gay, or if you just want to launch donald trump into a dying star

Remember when that cop pepper-sprayed students in 2011? UC Davis paid $175K to scrub it from the internet’s memory https://t.co/5prbgrx1WL

— Xeni (@xeni) April 14, 2016

when youre in a crackshipping competition and your opponent is me

The first time Duke crashed out wss the first time the batfam ever truly met him

I still stand by the fact that he was heavily code switched when he first joined the fam

But when he crashed out for the first time (which was probably over Bruce parenting him) he cussed them out like he was back in the narrows, yes he did heavily use the n word, yes his accent is heavier than jasons, yes his AAVE comes full swing when he argues, and yes he was spitting such facts and was so unfiltered that this argument could come close to an argument with dick and bruce

Like once someone crosses duke's boiling point there's no going back

He probably would have to hold back from swinging on someone since he grew up in a school w frequent fights and frequently fought

And then for Duke he's not arguing with his dad or siblings he's arguing with some rich ass people who decided to take him in rn

He isn't holding shit back cuz his parents are jokerized and he couldn't give two flying FUCKSZ about anyone else rn

And ik duke's comebacks are sharp and quick cuz having and argument with an incompetent high-school boy has to be a form of psychological training

When Duke argues with them for the first time they watch as "newly adopted, kind, hope if gotham, rise of the sun-" Duke go flying out of his body, and the enter of "no bullshit, quick to clock a hoe ass bitchs shit, fuck yo self and fuck yo knocked kneed mf granny, your not my mf daddy bitch ass nigga,- Duke

And don't get me started on how loud this man will get, especially if he's crying- cuz if you tell him to calm down it's overrrr

This man will make the walls shake w the power he will put in his voice if someone dared to get loud w him- if they go low he goes lower

The moment Damian tried to shit talk him they argued for an hour, Duke prolly gained Damian respect from them tearing eachother apart- like their both kids maybe not close in age but still argue with no remorse cuz there's no respect your elders shit goin on

And you think this man won't act a fool at a gala? Think again

Hell turn this snobby gala into a block party real mf quick

Look down on him and all you'll see is that uppercut he finna give ya

Neway stan bitch ass menace Duke🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

Boss is asleep, cannot stop me from frogposting

inspired by the beautiful variant cover by stephen byrne

he totally gives me phantom thief vibes!

Hey, take it from someone creeping towards 40:

Ignore the fun police.

If you like it, order your steak well done. Get your bagel toasted with jam and butter. Put ice in your scotch and ketchup on your hotdog. Get red wine with fish and white with steak. Who cares?

If you want to, listen to pop music. Watch blockbuster popcorn flicks. Read dime store novels. Enjoy them.

Dye your hair or cut it off. Paint your fingernails blue. Wear whatever the fuck you want on your own time (ie, when not at a job or school or whatever where you can get penalized for breaking rules) as long as you aren’t like welding or shoveling snow.

Anyone who tries to tell you you’re wrong? Say “okay” and go back to what you were doing. You’re not hurting them by enjoying yourself or having things the way you like them.

There are no caveats or addendums to this. No “but what about x?” Nah. You’re allowed the things you like. You don’t have to justify your taste or apologize for it if it’s not hurting anyone.

And likewise, let other people live their lives. We’re all dead in the long run, so tend your own garden before you become fertilizer in it.