I Have An Angel And A Devil On My Shoulders But I Think With My Dick So There's Not Much They Can Do

he’s an unreliable narrator TO YOU. i believe him

Things I Need:

1. An orgasm 2. Attention 3. $50,000

this is not even an internet persona i am just like this and i think thats even worse

Apples are so fucked up you can get two from the same pile ans one tastes more like an apple than anything youve ever eaten and the other tastes like water poisoned by pharaohs

shoutout to my homies who are deeply bizarre and have something wrong with them

my heart goes out to you if you're a disabled person who has a complicated or negative relationship with sleep. if you need to sleep a lot but can't due to life circumstances, or sleeping extra causing other symptoms to flare up. if you can't sleep enough due to pain, or nightmares, or psychosis, or bipolar, or depression. if you sleep way too much and find it hard to stay awake. if you can't fall or stay asleep. if you need medication in order to be able to sleep. if you don't feel rested from sleep. if you wake up a lot in the night. if you have bladder or bowel accidents while asleep. if you twitch or convulse or move too or get injured in your sleep. if you can't control your sleep schedule no matter what. if you can't sleep during "normal" sleeping hours. if you can't sleep for 8+ hours straight but can sleep for shorter amounts of time. if sleep is what you need but for one reason or another you just can't or refuse to do it.

i care about you. your disabilities deserve to be seen and acknowledged

RIP Toad Chavé you would've loved BoJack's AA circle

i feel like getting shot would feel so interesting for two seconds and then it would probably feel bad

do you want to play substance abuse with me after work