Latest Posts by jaystellarbirb - Page 3

Enter a suave prince:

Enter a stoic, aloof, handsome pirate:

Prince, falling in love at first sight: Marry me

Pirate: ?

Prince: M-Merry to meet you, sir

Pirate, shrugs, turns away:

Prince, to himself: Oh my god did I just propose to a stranger I am such an idiot-

Prince, glancing back at his handsome pirate:... Worth it, though

So let me let me tell you about our team members

We have our captain, who we call “lucky” he’s got the meanest fast ball you’ve ever seen, and can hit a ball like a semi truck. He’s a pretty calm guy. But if you do manage to piss him off, all hell breaks loose. He’s got the whole team on his side, and we are loyal to a FAULT.

We have “skip” he’s short and scrawny, but he could outrun a bullet. Hes the fastest kid on the team, with an attention span to match. He’s got ADHD, and even though he can get distracted easily, get him set on a goal and he’ll move heaven and earth to reach it. His dads practically the right hand man for bane, and he’s usually the one to take us to after practice/game dinner. However, he can’t always show up, so once Bane will showed up instead.

Every good teams got a brawler looking type, and “Basher” is him. Hes the best pitcher we’ve got, maybe even better than lucky I dare say. Hes big, quite, and hella intimidating. It’s said he caved in a kids skull, but nothings been proven. Others often ask how we’re so casual with him. The secret? He’s such a huge softie, he’s basically a walking teddy bear.

Then there’s “Brittny” She’s cold, and hella ruthless. But she’s also smart, like, straight A student smart. She typically plans strategizes with lucky, and she’s not afraid to cut a bitch if it means we win.

And of course there’s “Homie” he’s pretty chill. Actually, we’re pretty sure he’s a stoner. He got on the team freshman year by sellin the old cap n coach the greens. He’s a great pitcher, much better than when I first met him, bout two years ago.

We’ve got our precious child “Lab” short for Labrador. Take a wild guess. He’s as loyal as they come, but he’s unfortunately not the brightest, however he’s pretty strong, so he’s a good batter!

Then there’s the little bastard known as “Snake” they’ve taken it upon themselves to teem up with the cheerleaders to make passive aggressive statements about whatever team were playing. (If we’ve played against you and your school/team got put on blast, they would like you to know they aren’t sorry)

And lastly, we have “Chad” the RAGING homosexual in SERIOUS denial. We’ve been trying for a WHOLE YEAR to get him and lucky together, but he is SO O B L I V I O U S

So yeah, that’s our baseball team! In the off season we kinda just vibe. I’ll post shenanigan stories soon!

GUESS WHO GOT A (SORT OF) JOB BITCHES

So I’ve recently started volunteering at my local aviary shelter, doing the more maintenance jobs, like cleaning, washing food bowls and toys, changing light bulbs from time to time, fixing broken appliances, re teaching the owner how to use TikTok, things like that. I also help set up our stands and hand out flyers, and get attention to any of our fundraisers, which we sometimes do because other shelters need help. AND NOBODY THOUGHT TO TELL ME, THAT THE PENGUIN COMES IN REGULARLY . So I’m helping clean up for the night, and get asked “hey, can you stay with me a few more hours. Mya (one of our parrots) is sick, and I could use the extra help with whatever might come up, as she’s supposed to be under constant watch.” I get it, I really do, and I was worried about our sweet Mya just as much as they were, and so I agreed. The lights in the front started flickering, so I go up there to check on it/clean up. BUT GUESS WHO THE FUCK I SAW. THE ARCTIC BIRD HIMSELF, AGAIN. I’m confused thinking “are we getting robbed” when he smiles, waves and asks “not surprised you work here! I assume your helping keep an eye on Mya? Where is she?” I’m still a little baffled, so I just point to the back and he thanks me, meanwhile dialup noises are playing in my head as I try to figure out what the FUCK is goin on. So I go into the back and find him helping watch after Mya.

It’s been two hours. We’ve been sitting here talking about birds the whole time, and at some point the riddler showed up to “pick up his boyfriend” and we’ve started talking about the genetic relationship between vultures and storks

You know what I love about tumbler? I have fifteen other blogs, three of which have twilight fan fiction I wrote. But you’ll never find it. You’ll never make the connection. And now your stuck, knowing that I write twilight fanficton, amongst other fan fics, but you’ll never see it and connect it to me. And I love that.

Thanks for the spam, @jaystellarbirb

DO NOT SUPPORT SALVATION ARMY 

So, I made a bird feeder out of a milk carton (very easy, worth the google, will post instructions if wanted) and was hanging it up in Gotham Central Park. While filling it up with bird seed, I got approached by one arctic bird named crime lord. At first, I got a little worried, for obvious reasons, but then he asked me about it. And of course ADHD/Autism brain went “fuck yeah special interest time!” And I wound up sort of rambling about bird feeders made from recycled materials, native bird diets, and the birds themselves. When I realized that I had been rambling, I got HELLA embarrassed, as I usually get negative reactions for it. But he just? Started talking to me about birds? And at some point the fucking SCARECROW showed up, along with riddler? And we all just sat and talked about birds? And it was probably one of the BEST conversations I’ve ever had, because almost NOBODY EVER wants to talk or hear about my special interests, and it was just, fuckin amazing.

reblog if ur tired and want to make out w/ a cute girl

Welcome to Build-a-Frog!

Click here to enter

It’s me, ya boi

GOTHAMITES IF YOU SEE THIS YOU HAVE TO MAKE A PICREW OF YOURSELF RN HERES THE LINK https://picrew.me/image_maker/1170750

HERES MINE😎

conversation I had the blessing of hearing

Penguin: I’m sorry I don’t take advice from a madman.

Hatter: we’ll I don’t take criticism from whores!

Penguin: >:O

Riddler: says the whore.

Hatter: >:0

Scarecrow: takes one to know one.

Riddler: >:0

Joker: the slut energy in this room is immaculate.

Fish: listen son, in this world, there’s the sluts and the losers. Go whore or go home.

Oswald: go whore.

Fish: correct bitch.

future!Nygmobblepot headcanons

Everyone knows they are a couple. It’s a thing. If one of them is arrested the first point of action is figuring out where the other one is.

Oswald starts wearing the top-hat to look taller - which Edward counteracts by starting to wear heels

They go out on dinner dates a lot. Other peoples “dinner and a movie” is their “dinner and armed robbery”

Bickering like an old married couple is standard procedure but the thing that makes people even more uncomfortable is the fact that these arguments will always end with a “because you love me” and extended eye fucking.

Oswald was a little self-concious when he started to gain weight but Edward made it very clear that he does not mind and intends to shoot everyone who does in the knee

While bickering, they’ll still play the “you killed me” and ”you killed my girlfriend” card but at this point the details got a little muddy like, “Are you sure she wasn’t called Isabell? Are you sure Edward?”

Harvey is weirdly happy for them and whenever someone calls him out on it he goes “Someone around here has to have a healthy, stable relationship and since it sure as hell ain’t me or you it might as well be them”

They wouldn’t admit it if anyone asked but they do visit the pier on their anniversary now and then and make some good memories to override the bad ones. Ed always loved the view, after all.

Despite what people may think, they are really good for each other. Oswald reminds Edward to take his medication and calms him down when he’s anxious. Edward rubs Oswalds leg when it hurts and keeps his temper in check.

Jim got an invite for the wedding. As in: Someone put a bag over his head and dragged him to the church where a priest was held at gun point. Oswald welcomed his “old friend” heartily and declared him best man.

I’m sick to my fucking stomach

The map flag had the same color scheme as the pan flag and now they’re switching to the bi flag

If you see anyone with this flag or any variation

Run

Don’t fucking hesitate to block because pedos are now using this new “flag” and other forms of it

Can I get a signal boost from larger accounts? Start tagging people so this will spread

Gotham/Nygmobblepot/ Riddlebird headcanon:

The Iceberg lounge has a cocktail list a mile long and it is always growing. It’s not your average cocktails though, they are Gotham themed and can only be found at the Iceberg.

The reason is that Oswald, being the emotional and grudge holding little bird he is, names cocktails after members of all the well known citizens of Gotham and how they taste reflects on how he feels about them. The disgusting sounding and tasting mix called ‘Bat guano’ being an example.

There are new cocktails every week and it said that the best way to find out the state of the Gotham underworld is to go and try all the drinks on the Iceberg’s What’s New menu. 

The amount of green Riddler themed drinks is alarming and constantly growing. It ranges from ‘E.Nygma wrapped in a daydream’, a delicious and addictive favourite, to the vomit inducing ‘Death at the dockside.’ This particular cocktail is treated the way some people treat extremely hot curries, a way to prove how tough you are. Legend has it that even Batman isn’t tough enough to drink a whole ‘Dockside’ without throwing up.

Bonus: When Oswald is particularly pissed off with someone he will give the bar staff orders to only serve that person the most disgusting drink belonging to their namesake. The patrons of the Iceberg have lost count of how many times Riddler, out of shear stubbornness, has attempted to force down ‘Dockside’ after ‘Dockside’ just to show Oswald up only to end up projectile vomiting and passing out in the toilets a few minutes later.

like for peace on earth

reblog to explode one car on the highway

Genders for sale here, get your genders. I’ve got old genders, new genders, ancient forbidden genders, and The True Gender (frogs). For a nominal fee I will add on a dead name removal service!

Might I introduce you to mg dnd wizard

Allenvir

He’s a grumpy boi, he runs a shady ass hell library. I’m talking summoning circles on the floor, cries of the dammed from the basement, and what you hope aren’t blood stains everywhere. He dose a FUCK TON of occult shit. He sells ancient forbidden rituals on the black market. After all, why should knowledge be forbidden, just because of the gruesome price?

nO

Hey y’all! I made some spooky pride flags!

I wanted to make these because I saw some going around that were made by exclusionists. So, i wanted to give my own take on them. These are all the sexuality flags I have made (I will be making another post with the gender flags I have made so pls reblog that one as well!)

Credit me if you use these!

My twitter has these too! @socksonat3am

Batman can overcome most strains of Fear Toxin through sheer force of will. He is Darkness. He is the Night. He has crafted his own fears into an armor, so they can never be used against him. He is the Batman.

Jason, on the other hand, was able to overcome the Cheer gas because he absolutely refuses to be happy and none of you bitches can make him.

Hey, so, if you guys would like to know what school in Gotham is like, feel free to ask! It’s…. Interesting, to say the least

Okay seriously. Reblog if you're OLDER than 11.

Yep.

How to remove Bloodstains from clothes

(or just stains in general)

Boil Water

Set the article of stained clothing in sink

Hold kettle or pot about 6-10 inches from clothing and pour boiling hot water over stained area.

If stain is older soak in cold water for 45 minutes or more before washing if that does not work repeat cold water soak for longer or pouring boiling water on it and use stain remover before washing.

Some helpful tricks I want to share since the weatheris getting colder here and I know it's easier to hide pain behind layers:

I am prefacing this by saying please do not attempt self harm, it's not a rabbit hole you want to go down, but for those who are still in that rabbit hole or recovering from that tumble down here are some things that I learned that I want to share.

Bio Oil (can be found at drug stores) helps scars fade quicker when used properly.

Cleaning away blood and cleaning cuts, even if tired, can help you feel better emotionally and/or reduces chances of scarring. If you are still seeking escapism rubbing alchohol and hydrogen peroxide provide you with a sometimes painful sting while accomplishing the same thing.

Setting up a system so you can talk to people you trust without having to tell them what's going on in any sort of detail can be incredibly helpful. (or A Person, doesn't have to be a super important person in your life, just someone you trust enough to send a codeword that means "I need you to distract me from something.")

Keeping a pack of bandaids in your room or locker can be very useful if a scab gets scratched off.

YO I WAS ON MY WAY HOME FROM SCHOOL, and right outside the school a fucking FRESHMAN was BEATING THE SHIT out of a very pervert teacher from another school, because some kids from metropolis came for something Idk. That’s not even the best part. A teacher from OUR school walked by STARED AT THE TEACHER ON THE GROUND, AND SAID “Damn, it really be like that.” AND JUST, KEPT WALKING

Me and the baseball team are going to metropolis this weekend to spray paint pride flags on lux Luthers tower, who wants to come?

Edit: he doesn’t deserve to have his name spelled correctly. I’ll change it when he starts funding charities.

no cops at pride just danny phantom and the fenton anti transphobe stick