Obsessed With This Year's Grand Prize Winner Of The Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest

Obsessed with this year's grand prize winner of the Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest

2022 Grand Prize Winner

"I knew she was trouble the second she walked into my 24-hour deli, laundromat, and detective agency, and after dropping a load of unmentionables in one of the heavy-duty machines (a mistake that would soon turn deadly) she turned to me, asking for two things: find her missing husband and make her a salami on rye with spicy mustard, breaking into tears when I told her I couldn't help—I was fresh out of salami."

More Posts from Jdeere625 and Others

jdeere625

1 year ago

Vultures are holy creatures.

Tending the dead.

Bowing low.

Bared head.

Whispers to cold flesh,

“Your old name is not your king.

I rename you ‘Everything.’”

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jdeere625

9 months ago

These are so fun to make

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jdeere625

9 months ago

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jdeere625

1 year ago

can't decide if hbomberguy is an avatar of the eye or the spiral but I approve of this wholeheartedly

hbomberguy turn your gayze upon this wretched plagiarist

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jdeere625

6 months ago

Tags

Tag yourself I'm Threadrick

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jdeere625

3 months ago

this is like. GENUINELY the best edit i've ever seen in my life. full stop. let me reiterate: not just the best severance edit. THE best edit. the creator doesn't have a tumblr that i can find but i simply had to share.

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jdeere625

2 months ago

ether as severance + “the courtship of kier and imogene” (relationship parallels)

An ether factory does not produce ether

The ether factory in Salt's Neck and the ether mills mentioned as part of Kier Eagan's history were not places where diethyl ether was manufactured. They were regular factories or mills with strategically placed vats of boiling diethyl ether to intoxicate the workers when at work, effectively functioning as a primitive form of severance.

(1) Diethyl ether was historically used as an anesthetic because it causes short term memory loss. Kier served as a military doctor in his early 20s, presumably during the American Civil War (1861-1865), so would have been exposed to the anesthetic properties of ether. He founded Lumon Industries in 1865.

(2) Diethyl ether is not something would be synthesized in a vat (it is extremely volatile and flammable), especially not in the way pictured in The Courtship of Kier and Imogene.

(3) If you had vats of boiling diethyl ether around your regular mill or factory, your workers could still perform the basic functions of their jobs, but would not remember most of it. Lumon created severed work places in 1865!

(4) Harmony says she hadn't consumed ether since she was eight, so this is probably when she stopped working at the factory. She also refers to Hampton selling ether as "shameful", because to a Kier cultist, ether intoxication is a quasi-religious alienation of one from their work.

(5) The effect of having a town where the ether factory shuts down would result in an entire town of ether addicts who are no longer getting high at work which is what we saw in Salt's Neck.

(6) I think it is pretty clear by now that Dieter (Diethyl ether) was what Kier Eagan referred to as his persona while in a state of ether intoxication.

Imogen was a child bride.

I've been thinking this ever since Woe was described as half the height of a normal woman. That felt child bride coded, but here is the rest:

Kier didn't have his first child until he was 44. If Kier met his wife in his youth, as Lumon would have you believe, she wouldn't be in good shape to have two children one year apart from each other in her 40s in 1885 and 1886 respectively.

All the evidence provided in attached pictures supports the idea that he found himself a child bride at the ether factory, while undercover as a swabman.

I included some more fantastical pulls about Woe because I believe Imogen is represented as the woeful bride. Kier seems to have felt some kind of way about the sins of his past on his deathbed, so he made up the fourth appendix and Dieter to sever himself from the sin. He made up Dieter to be his scapegoat. (If you grew up not religious, like I did, google scapegoat+religious) Part of his guilt (?) might revolve around his child bride, given she may have been sick from the factory and she was definitely woeful.

The fact we only know two things about Imogen, she was a swab girl and married Kier, leaves a lot of question marks about her ultimate fate. Poor girl.

Ether As Severance + “the Courtship Of Kier And Imogene” (relationship Parallels)

If Kier & Imogene knew each other at work, and Imogene was effectively severed due to the ether high, it makes sense that he would find Imogene outside of work and tell her that their innies fell in love at work, whether it was the truth or not, just to get her to be the child bride.

Fits with a lot of religious/cult behavior where a man will corner a woman (sometimes younger) and say something like "God meant for us to be together," or "God came to me in a dream and revealed that you are my soulmate," to manipulate the woman into being with him.

The mysticism around Kier being a religious figure due to "mastering the tempers" and severance just makes it more believable.

It's what Kier did to Imogene, it's what Burt is doing to Irving, and I wouldn't doubt it's what Helena's about to do to Mark – or perhaps already subtly did at the Chinese restaurant? Or meant to but failed/chickened out because she's so awkward.

I want to add, I do think this unethical practice of yielding the next generation of Eagans by coercing (assaulting) people under their employ is probably normal within the family tradition.

Inside Lumon it's romanticized so they can justify this abuse of employees, which is in line with the rest of the show. History is written by the victors, so many probably don't live long or are stored away, Shelly Miscavige style, the second they show signs of objection towards Lumon.

(just so we’re clear, while the kier-imogene dynamic is clearly paralleled with helena and mark, it is also reiterated in cobel and mark, dr mauer and gemma, and even burt and irving to some extent; season 2 has also made it a point to show us that helena and cobel are both victims in their own ways while being perpetrators. it is not a black and white situation and misogyny will get you blocked.)

original threads: (x), (x)

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jdeere625

6 months ago

win for traumatised individuals! local eldritch horror is here to rip it all out free of charge

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jdeere625

7 months ago

i get so scared. and i get scared again. yuo are never gonna calm me down. i get so scared. and i get scared again. you are never gonna calm me down. i drink a nervous drink. i drink a frightened drink. i drink an anxious drink, i drink a scary drink. i fear the scares that remind me of the scary times. i fear the scares that remind me of the horror times

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jdeere625

10 months ago

how terrifying metamorphosis must be for the caterpillar has no concept of what it is doing, or what a butterfly is, or what will happen to it as it spins itself the cocoon. we r more alike than different

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