Mad Fucked Up About How Everyone Was Head Down, On A Knee And Rhodey Was So Overcome With Emotion Watching

I almost didn't cuff my jeans today. It's like I forgot I was bisexual.

Peter, you don’t need to study, you’re like the smartest guy I’ve ever met.

I’m gonna FLEX SEAL your mouth shut.

Shuri to Peter, probably.

WHO’S READY

Venom: Eddie look!

Eddie: *sees body in front of him* Dear god tell me he's not dead?

Venom: Not that! Look! * points at body holding box of tator tots

Eddie: Oh thanks but seriously is this man okay? Alive???

It’s September 1st. It’s Halloween. I don’t make the rules.

Y/n, putting on your seatbelt: Ok, do you remember what I’ve taught you?

Loki, starting up the car: Of course.

Loki, driving: Green means go, yellow means speed up, red means enter at your own risk.

Y/n: Yes- Wait WHAT

Loki, seeing a red light: *slams his foot down on the gas pedal* And I’m feeling risky today.

Y/n: *covers your face and screams*

Loki: *runs straight through the light*

Y/n, slowly uncovering your face: *glares at Loki* WHO THE HELL TOLD YOU THAT?

Loki: Stark gave me some pointers-

Y/n: Ok, never listen to Tony’s instructions EVER AGAIN.

Loki: …

Loki: So I don’t get bonus points if I hit a bus?

Y/n: Did Tony tell you that?

Loki: No actually that was Barton.

Y/n: *slowly exhales*

Loki: *quietly* Does this also mean I don’t get triple the points by driving on the opposite side of the road?

Y/n: I’m going to KILL Clint.

Loki: …that one was Peter.

Y/n: You took driving instructions… from A LITERAL CHILD??

Peter, sitting in the back of the car holding a camera: Ok, first off I’m not a kid, second off YOU’RE RUINING MY VIDEO.

The year is 2022. You’re driving home from work, wifey calls & asks you to get some diapers for the baby. You grab roses for her. Life’s good. She’s crying in the closet you forgot the diapers what’s she gonna do with roses idiot there’s shit everywhere this is why your parents never loved y

i really can’t get over this cute dork

..also me at life