Voldemort: So, It Has Been Brought To My Attention That You Refer To Draco Malfoy As Your Archenemy

That’s all you got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?

Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography

“Carol falls down all the time, but she always gets back up — we say that about Captain America as well, but Captain America gets back up because it’s the right thing to do. Carol gets back up because ‘Fuck you.’“ - Kelly Sue DeConnick on Carol Danvers (x)

“You don’t choose the Chologuard life, the Chologuard life chooses you.”

Zendaya on whether ignorance is truly bliss

*T’challa and Nakia at a private dinner*

Nakia: I’m sorry T’challa I have an emergency mission I have to go

T’challa: Don’t worry about it it’s fine

*ten seconds later*

T’challa: I can hear you breathing and yes you can come out and finish her food

*Shuri, MJ, Peter and Ned bust out of the closet and begin devouring her food*

Shuri: Thank god we were so hungry

Peter: It tastes like fruit loops

Anne: Hey Eddie, me and Dan were going to the aquarium but something came up. Do you want the tickets?

Venom: Y E S

Eddie: Ah sorry I can't go.

Anne: Really why?

Eddie: Well uh I kinda got banned.

Anne: oh my god...

Eddie: yeah because SOMEONE just had to jump in the giant snow crab tank

Venom: They were good crab Eddie, don't lie to yourself

I will not be taking any questions at this time.

T'Challa: Everett! What are you doing tomorrow?

Ross: Having my day ruined with whatever you’re about to ask me to do.

The plot of literally every “Peter Parker goes on a field trip to Stark Industries” fanfic.