jinxxedmisery

Latest Posts by jinxxedmisery

Baby Boy 🤍

it's a dark day for america, and all i want to do is hold my trans and queer siblings tightly. but since that's not possible, this is me sending digital hugs to all of you. stay safe. stay alive. fight. your one precious life is worth more than any of the poison that's taken so much from us already

please. stay alive

Please, spread this for those who might need it right now

U.S. suicide hotline: call or text 988 (available 24 hours)

U.S. trans lifeline: (877) 565-8860 (when you call, you’ll speak to a trans/nonbinary peer operator. full anonymity and confidentiality)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – provides 24/7 confidential support and referrals for individuals and families facing mental health and substance use disorders, including panic attacks and anxiety.

LGBT National Help Center: (888) 843-4564

Trevor Project: Call (866) 488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online.

Take care of yourself and each other. Please stay safe ♡

Omg I always wanted to see a theatre production of Castlevania.. the fact that an all female troupe is doing it makes me so happy omg 😅

Renowned all-female Japanese theatre troupe Takarazuka Revue will be performing an official and original Castlevania musical in 2025 titled "Castlevania: Awakening Under Moonlight"

Read the full article here

My beliefs have always wavered. I've been at this for three years and I've gone through periods where I feel completely disconnected to belief in deities and more connected other times.. The rituals and offering cycled get quite mentally exhausting so... honestly I usually don't do much beyond venting and chatting and offerings of tasks and sweets when I remember. 😅 whether it's Loki or just my inner thoughts and biases listening and responding, it doesn't really super matter as it makes me feel less like I'm going at life alone.

Loki has always felt like a friend who I can always fall back on... during the month of October and in February I usually fall back into my practices and reconnect with gods I worship. Loki is usually the one I go to first and I'm always so excited to reconnect with them!

In my experience Loki never asks for anything too big of me that wouldn't benefit me or my family long-term. The most They want is like a quick sketch or a small share of candy or a food I've prepared or had a hand in preparing.

Loki has always kind of been a shoulder to cry on... I mean... I genuinely think they may have had a hand in pushing me to the path of therapy. I also found myself pushed towards a journey of self discovery which felt amazing... still does!

I came out as agender last year and I'm very happy with that, My family is finally beginning to really get used to calling me by my new name instead of my dead name.

The goofy remarks this deity has are unparalleled... sometimes I'm communicating with them and the most bonkers shit happens during or immediately after, Or I just get the sudden, mysterious urge to pull out my pendulum and all I get is the word "balls" or something 😅.. and ofc no matter where I put the candle that's theirs, the wick is always in strange shapes (none of the others are ever like that despite being from the same sellers and having tried multiple different scents) and the flame dances even without much movement of air...

Recently I've had a cat pass away a few months ago and my mother as well...actually just yesterday.. so... for the first time in a long while, I spoke to Loki, Hel and Freya simply requesting that they ensure my mother's journey to wherever she ends up.. afterlife or not is peaceful. And It was very peaceful. I believe that one or all were there to help guide her way into the unknowns of death..

Same deal with my cat... Both times I felt an almost instant feeling of relief and comfort knowing I no longer had to stress about either dying alone, That I could relax and focus on healing.... and I didn't and still don't feel pressured to give anything back, though I absolutely will during my Samhain traditions which I will be celebrating with my family.

Dear Lokeans and Norse Pagans,

I just want to hear your experiences with Loki.

I've been 3 years now into Norse Paganism and Loki...But it still feels like too short time and that I still have to learn so much. He has guided me to a great transformation of myself through this time....yet I think the snake has more skin to shed. I just need to hear more opinions and experiences.

Also he is such a hard deity to get over. I don't know if it's him who doesn't let go or me...But I like it...I really like working with him...

If I had to see this so do all of you motherfuckers.

Don't ask me where I got this screenshot, but there is a girlie out there with a $20,000 life-sized Astarion sex doll.

I just have to ask…were the fanfics not enough??

Ready to bother every living soul around me with terrible halloween puns... prepare your pumpkins!

Hi there... I'm still alive contrary to popular belief..

I forgot about Tumblr... I do that every month

Buuut... fandom shit happened soo let me tell you about it...

I was watching this cute wholesome anime, My Happy Marriage.... and this walking green flag man showed up...

The main male lead, Kiyoka Kudo... and what did my mind immediately jump to?

"H..holy shit that's..... that's...."

"THAT'S SHINYA HIRAGI"

And now... this has sparked another all consuming obsession with Seraph Of The End...

And as a result... I'm having thoughts and feelings about The Unparalleled Ichinose... again

My life is now ruined and I am retreating to Seraph Of The End hell for the next decade...

I blame Kiyoka Kudo.... and Yamato Yamamoto for designing Guren to be so damn beautiful... how dare they!

Anyway I'm tired and I should probably go to sleep... (After desperately trying to catch up with all the chapters I missed ofc!)

Why did I write this? No clue... but it exists now...

Yessssss please omfg please let this happen 🙏 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

MANIFEST

MANIFEST

Soooo I finally got around to watching After School With Hanako-Kun

I am months late to this.... but ummm can we talk about mokke Tsuchigomori?

LOOK AT HIM

IT EVEN HAS GLASSES

like shut UPPP I need a giant plushie of this like yesterday!!

also pocket Yako??

and his silly little "Poor me, I'm sick" getup 😭😭😭💕💕💕💕

BUT POCKET YAKO

Mark my words I am going to plunge headfirst back into this series! I love it so much (Zaddy long legs here made me obsessed with it... help)

SOOO Huion Kamvas Pros were on sale a couple weeks ago and I picked one up because duh why wouldn't I??? I'd be insane not to!

This is my first finished piece using it (also I learned how to apply textures to my art and omg it changes everything) I had to draw my mans so.. enjoy.. ignore his blob hand, I still don't get hands tbh

Reblog if its ok to spam you with boops

Me handing out boops to everyone and anyone that is boopable! 😅

Boop 😺

(I will boop everyone who reblogs this post, for the record 💖)

It’s that time of the year again

God... WHY!? (NSFW)

Headcanons plus a short fic.

Warnings: NSFW content.. this is literally a scenario about Gojo being a goofball during the deed...

Anywho... enjoy...Hope you like dead memes and cringe... (I hate myself for writing this... This should be a war crime)

Generally Gojo enjoys bringing humor into the bedroom, he really loves seeing you laugh.

But sometimes... He can get so fucking annoying.

As you lay on your back, hands pinned down to the bed, Gojo on top of you, thrusting into you in just the right way to make you scream...

A song you know all too well comes on... He's played it during sex so often. After that damned reddit r/AITA post he will not stop.

You've begged him to delete it from your Spotify playlist, but he never did.

Nasty little shit likes to see you go from whining about wanting him deeper to whining wanting him to stop acting like an idiot

Ofc.. He likes calling you really stupid pet names as well.. in and out of the bedroom..

And you better believe he thrusts with the rhythm of the song playing.. not the beat... Like a psychopath.

"Satoru....." you whine. A smirk appears on his lips as he continues the eratic thrust pattern.

"Hmmm? what is it munchkin?" He says with a mischievous glint in his eyes. You roll your eyes

"Please... for fuck sake turn that shit off... and wait... 'Munchkin' did you just call me 'Munchkin'?" You resist the urge to push him off of you and onto the floor

"Aww does my little boo thang not like what I call them?" You narrow your eyes at him

"Do you want me to shrivel up and die down there?" He rests his head on your shoulder and you feel him grin against your skin, you gulp in response fearing what would come next.

"Oh pookiebear~ You'll be okay won't you? You still want my girthy meat stick right?" he whispers in your ear, you hate to admit it but it could almost be hot... If he weren't whispering the most deranged shit into your ears. "You love it when my hotdog is inside your moist cavern don't you?"He whispers making you cringe. "And when my hands move to touch your sensitive nubbins" He says, moving his hand over to your chest, teasing your nipples. "How about I purple your nurple, would you like that my candybear.. the jelly to my peanut butter~"

"Satoru.... I hate you so much right now" You complain, He evidently takes pleasure in your cringing as he chuckles leaning in to kiss you. His thrusts once again moving to a pleasurable rhythm. No matter how much you groan and act like you hated him for it, you still truly love him. And that included all of his bedroom antics. In fact, you appreciate it sometimes, he always knows how to make you laugh and well today was indeed one of those days.

Just as you were soaking in the serious affection he was finally giving you after his goofiness.

Two Trucks came on. And he began bobbing his head and syncing his thrusts to the music. You scream in exasperation. "SATORU GOJO I SWEAR TO SHIT I'M NEVER LETTING YOU TOUCH SPOTIFY EVER AGAIN!!!"

He slept on the couch that night.. As he should.

Sup... I'm still alive.. just gonna drop this here lol I worked all day on it...

ApReCIAtE mE!

Kidding.. but I'm happy with it, I even used gold paint on his hair... Because he's a golden boi Ok, ok I'll stop

Sketch and WIP under the cut!

So... I got freecam and now I feel like a God lmao also used a emote mod for the one in the bath and the one in the bell tower...

Can someone please write a cute fluff (maybe even fluff and smut) fic about Tav and Astarion bathing together? If not, I'll do it lmfao

(I already have like 10 different Astarion fics in drafts RIP.. side note, If you have requests for Astarion related fanfiction, feel free to send me an ask! I need to edit my rules for requests though nsfw is now allowed and I'm no longer relying on my character list.)

Is my account slowly turning into an Astarion account? Maybe...

stop ruining the christmas mood thorin that’s mean  

Ooh this looks fun, I've never introduced them here, but my Wood elf Ranger, Aragalad can be asked about pretty sure my asks are open.. I haven't really made up much of a backstory for them and this is the perfect opportunity to do so!

Under the cut is what they look like if you're interested

Tav Backstory Ask Game

Is your Tav Baldurian? If yes, did they grow up in Baldur’s Gate? If no, where are they from?

Does your Tav have any siblings? Are they close?

Who was your Tav raised by?

Is your Tav close with whoever raised them?

Is your Tav religious? Were they raised that way?

When did your Tav learn their abilities/skills?

Did your Tav travel a lot pre-tadpole?

Does your Tav have any pets?

What did they do for work/to get by?

Was your Tav in a relationship? How did it end?

Did your Tav know or know of any of the other characters?

Is your Tav a guild member?

Was your Tav well known by others or did they stick to the shadows?

Does your Tav have any childhood friends?

Do they have any sentimental items?

What’s your Tav’s favorite childhood memory?

What’s your Tav’s worst childhood memory?

What did they want to be when they were younger?

Any memories that stick out to you/your Tav about their life pre-tadpole?

Did they know any nobility?

What kind of education did your Tav have?

Does your Tav have any children?

Share any hcs/anything you want to say about your Tav’s backstory

I did a quick little sketch (by quick, I mean it took me like 2 hours lol) I still struggle with feet and shoes...

I just saw a pose on pinterest and thought omg, what if Astarion and my tav... but he's biting their thigh 🤭

Ofc, I had to name it.. thirst... and I added the "Happy" symbol to kind of cover a sketch I did on the same page... You know... it wasn't originally supposed to be just one piece, I was practicing poses and I liked this one way too much to just leave it or risk messing up when I redrew it.

This is entirely self indulgent.. and intended to be Spawn Astarion because he's so babygirl 🥰😘😍

🤣 also I don't think I posted but I got through the Cazador fight not too long ago.. and

Spoilers and dumb ramble ahead:

For most of my day, I sat there wondering how the fuck I would beat that bastard... he was one shotting Shadowheart with his fucking lightning bolt, then sending his gas minions after the survivors. Astarion being in the ritual made it 10× more difficult.. so... I cheated... and fuck... It should have been obvious...

I LITERALLY FORGOT FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING DAY THAT VAMPIRES ARE WEAK TO SUNLIGHT.. I blame Astarion and his parasite as well as Alucard for that one honestly.. the day walker thing kind of made me forget that omfg immunity to daylight is an exception, not the rule..

So I felt stupid.. once I got that, it was so much easier.. oh and almost constantly had Astarion in stealth kill mode until Cazadick was gone.

Also side note.. the VA for Cazador is perfect.. Like they really sells the "I'm a pathetic little worm, and your worst nightmare, fear me while I bitch and cry" LOL and again that's a compliment.. Larian really succeeded in making an evil character extremely grating and hatable which again, a good thing, not a bad thing.

The heartbreak I felt though afterwards when Astarion screams and cries.. God.. the second I got to this scene, I KNEW I couldn't let him ascend, doing so would be so cruel.. and yes.. this is ascended Astarion slander, I don't like my men too domineering.. maybe a little bit, but not enough to like kill innocent children and eat their hands or some shit lmfao (Doing a durge run too.. where I'm going to ascend Astarion and be a horrible bastard that eats babies) and I don't like that he loses the genuine feelings he has for tav/durge and becomes what he sought to destroy, an abuser.

Now.. the graveyard scene... I had tears in my eyes.. Honestly, the reason I love Astarion so much is because he is quite relatable. I will not go into detail, but I was.. SAed and abused as a kid. And honestly.. Seeing the bit where he scratched out his death date, made me feel hope.. for myself... For my own healing.. it truly meant so much seeing another survivor of abuse begin anew, find themselves again... even though I have done that already myself for the most part, I've found purpose, passions, love, heartbreak, etc and I've found some level of beauty in the life. I related quite a lot to the line about sex feeling tainted.. I am at a point where it no longer feels as terrible, I feel genuine enjoyment in it... (Can't do casual sex though.. That would trigger me into a ptsd attack) And I think part of that was letting myself go at my own pace, making sure my partners knew, and having control and the ability to consent and revoke consent at any point. Emotional attachment helped a great deal too.

I've rambled on enough.. but... Let me end this off by saying, If you went through unspeakable horrors at the hands of those who you thought were supposed to protect you, You are not alone, Even if you do not see it now, there is light at the end of the tunnel, keep on living, keep trying to find joy in little things. It does get better, what was done to you was horrible and you did not deserve it. I promise, you will see better days. You will be happy again, even if you feel like the pain will never end, there is always moments of calm.... live for those... live for your pets, live for your friends, the people around you, live for that cute thing you just ordered, live for that movie or TV series you're excited about watching... even the next patch for bg3.. or more Astarion content if that's your reason right now... and take it one day at a time. You will be okay.

If you need to vent out some shit, I'll listen, I may not know what to say or be able to offer comfort, but I will always lend an ear, even to a total stranger if they need it.

That's all from me, goodbye, until my next post.. whenever that will be ❤🖤❤🖤

Helios ☀️

(Astarion Fanart)

More info under the cut if you enjoy insane rambles lol

I posted the sketch yesterday, I finished in the same day, took me like 4 hours.. which is about average for my art...

And well.. it didn't turn out exactly the way I wanted and there are some things I wish I did differently (namely the eyes being just a bit too harsh.. wish I did them in brown and not the dark purple..) but overall, I like how it turned out..

I tried a new painting technique the wet on wet method.. well in the beginning.. and I quite like it. I used both gouache and watercolors...I will 100% be doing rim lighting again.. it gives an ethereal quality and I looove that tbh..

And ofc being an overexcited dumbass forgot to tape down my piece initially so it warped.. but I taped it down shortly after and it's less um.. crazy looking now..

And idk why... but painting his ass was the funnest part lol.... I used many different colours in his skintone.. mainly purples, oranges, browns, yellows and hints of blue.. And it really stands out on that one cheek closest to the viewer.. I may have accidentally made it the focal point... unintentional, I swear,😅

Admittedly my shading is still absolutely shit.. making a note to practice that.. the light source and shadow placement doesn't make a whole lot of sense.. but it still looks alright I think..

Anyway..if you read this stupid ramble, I'm deeply sorry. Have a wonderful day or night ✨

Well hello there~

info and a long ramble about this and why this exists under the cut if you're interested

So.. I'm experiencing the most intense obsession with a fictional character I've ever experienced in my entire life..

I started playing Baldur's Gate 3 two weeks ago.. why did I pick it up? Because I saw a clip of that scene where Tav kills him by shooting that lazer and dropping a building on him, and the dialog after you get Withers to bring him back.. you know.. "Somewhere between a nice summer's day and THE FULL CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE SUN" and I was like.. daaaamn who is this character and why does his VA sound so damn passionate? So I bought it...

And I have clocked well over 100 hours in game now and it's safe to say I'm completely, hopelessly obsessed with this game. Now...

Onto the actual explanation of this piece

The idea for this art piece came from right after his first sex scene with Tav (the only one I've seen as of yet... and um.. like damn... DAMN) when he stands in the sunlight and you see his scars on his back for the first time.. The moment I saw that, the gears in my head started turning and I imagined big huge angel wings on him... then.. um.. well.. I heard a song which brought that image back into my mind.. (Helios by the Crüxshadows.. It's good go listen to it!) which yes.. music is a huge part of my creative process most of the time.. My imagination can run wild when listening to some songs not certain why.

But anyway.. Astarion with big ass angel wings was born.... and I'm probably going to go in and paint it with watercolors and pray that I don't hopelessly fuck it up.. If I don't, I'll post the finished piece when I'm done.. (really wish I had metallic watercolors.. I feel like gold paint on the halo and maybe the scars would add a lot to this tbh)

I guess the unofficial title of this piece is:

Helios ☀️

Side note... I think I gave him too much ass... (as if that's a bad thing lmao)

He really puts the ass in Astarion... Ok.. Ok I'll stop 😅

So...the new ADHD meds I'm on evidently work great..

I spent like 6 or more hours on this, half of it in complete silence (which is completely out of character for me, I usually blast music into my ears every waking hour) and yes, I did already post a very similar piece not long ago but with gouache. I took the sketch from that and digitally painted it. And I am SO HAPPY WITH IT!

I especially adore the hair.. it's just so pretty (I did so many studies on Ayami Kojima that now I'm able to kinda draw hot vampire men well.. 😲)

Anyway hope you enjoy this as much as I loved making it 😊

I've been away from the internet entirely for a couple days (bad week) so I only just heard like five minutes ago but.. I am so excited for this, the first teaser looks great!! I'm surprised it went into production so soon!

I can't wait for more Alucard I missed him lol

season 2 is happening!!!!!!!!!

Not trying to attack anyone here, I get it if you don't like the new Alucard.. and granted I'm pretty biased in this because I absolutely adore the old Castlevania art made by Ayami Kojima.. but

For some of the fans that are disappointed about Alucard getting a redesign, I hope you realize this new one is much closer to his design in Sympony Of The Night

(Btw.. if you're attacking or otherwise harassing anyone, but especially the artists and animators that worked on the show for this reason... SHAME. ON. YOU.)

And in fact, the first four seasons are inaccurate to the source material, his design from Dracula's Curse which follows the story of Trevor looks like this.. (the horror... he looks like a basic vampire, I know..)

Side note, I really hope we see Genya Arikado before the series loses popularity... And maybe his design from Judgement making a cameo.. but I somehow doubt it..

I have a feeling after the second season... assuming the showrunners don't redesign again according to demands by some Netflixvania fans... When the newness wears off, some that initially hated it may just grow to like it.

I also hope this encourages some that haven't to look into or play some Castlevania games too! Maybe if enough attention is given to the games Konami might finally do something with the series again? But maybe that's just wishful thinking...

No bc I actually screamed and cried when I saw his sword and the realization hit me... AND THEY GAVE HIM HIS SILLY LITTLE CRAVAT THING HE HAD IN SOTN TOO. I NEED a second season like yesterday lol.

CASTLEVANIA NOCTURNE SPOILERS!! Scroll super fast to avoid

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He's backkkkkkk!!!! I almost threw up just seeing his sword hilt!

I've seen Toilet Bound Hanako Kun before.. and I've created fanart for it before but back then I had no art style.. and now I actually do.. so.. enjoy (I made Nene look so incredibly dead inside lmao Oops.. )

These are just sketches, I might draw redraw a couple of them for a finished piece later.

Once again.. I've neglected Tumblr..

In my defense a lot has been going on and I haven't had the mental energy to post... buuuuuut..

I made this really nice painting. He got a spot on my art wall in my room.

I'm finally playing Aria of Sorrow.. Wish I could get Dawn of Sorrow too.. Maybe I will one day.. I have an old DSI that I haven't really used since I was 10.

And I saw the Grimior of Souls design and fell head over heels in love.. I wish I had an apple device.. if I did I'd be playing the shit out of it right about now.

Also side note.. I need to work on hands.... DESPERATELY.. why are they so hard to do?? Like the hand in this one looks like an amorphous blob 😵.. Anyone who can draw hands competently is a God, I'm serious.