Dany In Qarth

(affirming myself in the mirror) if that fictional man was real he would fuck you. He would fuck you. You're his exact type. If he saw you he'd get a boner instantly. He would fuck you he would fu

The moon floated on the still black waters, shattering and re-forming as her ripples washed over it.

Daenerys in the Womb of the World

Ikigai, Part 2

Summary: You’re desperately in love with a man who already belongs to another.

Ikigai (n.) (Japanese): "A reason for being," the thing that gets you up in the morning.

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4

The same arms that cradled you last night now carry her. She’s unconscious (apparently because Sylus choked the life out of her and you will be pressing him on that later), and she’s beautiful. So beautiful that you tug on your sleeves a bit to cover more of your skin as you stare. The strange woman is a literal sleeping beauty, so you can’t help but keep your eyes on her.

But those details about her aren’t what make you truly stare. No. Something else entirely makes you stop dead in your tracks as you approach the twins and Sylus at the doors.

Her threads. As in multiple ones. Multiple soulmates and multiple bonds. They flicker in a way you’ve never seen before, and behave like winding paths. They’re each a gateway to a different love, to a different story. And she could choose which one to take.

You don’t know how you know this. But that isn’t new to you. Your power’s always been a mystery to you, seeing the bonds of soulmates even before they themselves have connected and formed. You know someone’s love story before they do. And you know what they’ve lost whenever you see a severed thread like James’. All this you learned through trial and error, since no one else sees what you see.

It got even worse once Evols started showing up and the Deepspace Tunneled opened. Like a puzzle you must assemble without instructions. Or a full picture. While blindfolded.

So, sometimes your ability just tells you things. Like now. It told that this strange girl, Miss Hunter as the twins call her, had multiple possible soulmates. It also told you of her multiple pasts. One of which you know quite intimately.

Sylus. You can’t bare to look at the man in question. From his heart protrudes his string, and on the other end of it is her. Her and not you.

You always knew you’d meet Sylus’ soulmate one day. And when that day came, you knew you’d be happy to see them love one another. But when you imagined that, you imagined he’d be their only love. Not one of many. Not some choice among different slices of pie.

You force yourself to keep walking. Pain creaks through you, like a car slamming on its breaks every few feet. Jagged and raw. Cutting.

”You aren’t her only one,” you want to say. ”You aren’t her only one, and you deserve better than that.”

Why? Why did this girl with so much love have to take from you the one thing you wanted? You want to pluck that stupid string of hers that belongs to Sylus and tie it to your pinky finger. You want to scream at the universe at how unfair this all is.

You don’t do anything of that. Instead, you fall into line with the twins as Sylus takes her to a spare bedroom. Part of you is relieved beyond words he didn’t put her in his own room. You think your heart would’ve given out there and then otherwise.

Once she’s carefully laid down on the bed, Sylus finally speaks.

“Kieran. Luke.”

“Yes boss,” they say in that weird unison thing they’ve always done; you find it strangely endearing.

“Watch her.”

He’s all business, acting as if this was an everyday occurrence. Like he always brought strange girls back to his home.

“Of course, boss,” Kieran replies. He gives you look when he does so. Even with his mask, you could tell what he was trying to say: ”you know what’s going on, right?”

You shake your head at him. His older brother is oblivious to the whole mess, sitting on a chair in the room and kicking his legs back and forth. You envy his silly disposition right now. You couldn’t afford to be nearly as calm.

Sylus and you quickly leave the room, and you guide him to his office rather than his room. Questions burn on the tip of your tongue. They well up inside of you, begging to be released. You can’t bare to let any of them out. So you tame them with persuasion like you’ve done to your clients and opponents in the past.

“He’ll tell you everything,” you think as you walk beside him. ”Just be patient.”

Patience goes out the window the second you two are alone.

“What in the ever-loving fuck do you think you’re doing, Sylus?”

“Name dropping me again, Gamayun. What have I done to bring forth your wrath this time?”

He casually leans against his desk, smirk on his lips and tension in his shoulders. You try to stand a ways away from his, but he uses his Evol to pull you closer. Your feet momentarily leave the floor when he does. The energy of his power is gentle against your skin, and caresses you in an almost apologetic matter.

You glare at him as he does this. He just leans in close to your face, one hand hovering on your waist and the other near your cheek. You stupidly lean into the touch.

Fuck me and my touch-starved self.

“Being sweet with me won’t change the matter at hand.”

“You think I’m sweet on you?” He leans in even closer. “And if it’s worked in the past why can’t it now? Perhaps I need to be more than just sweet…”

He trails off and brushes his fingers on your ear. Suddenly you feel too much. His breath. His skin. The gaze of his eyes. His coat. Everything.

You place a hand on his chest and lightly push. He immediately backs away, and his expression seems to stiffen a bit. You ignore it.

“No amount of sweetness will change the gravity of your lies. You brought a strange woman into the heart of our operation, and I won’t let it go.”

“Jealous?”

Yes.

“Do not dodge my question, foolish boss of mine.”

“So feisty today.”

Sylus leans back on the desk and beckons you closer. You stand firm with your hands on your hips and eyes on his soulmate thread. Anything to keep your focus on the task at hand.

He sighs and says your name. You’re inwardly grateful; no Gamayun means no sweetness which means your weak heart won’t make you back out of this conversation.

“She’s a Hunter. One with a unique Evol that I’ll be needing for my plans. That’s all. It’s just business.”

Sylus walks towards you this time.

“Business you couldn’t be fucked to include me in?”

You both wince at your harsh words. You because you’re normally never this openly hostile. With anyone. It’s bad for your line of work. And the only other people you’re normally around are the man you love and his chaotic children henchmen. You’ve no need to be so.. crass.

Sylus winces because… well, you don’t exactly know. His thread gives off some weird feelings you’d rather not dissect. You worry you’ll glimpse into his first meeting with his soulmate, and you’d rather hear about it that experience that yourself.

“There was no need.” Sylus is firm with his words, but his reluctance to make eye contact with you tells a different story. His guilt almost makes you think that he knows how you feel about him, and that he’s sorry for what he’s doing to you.

Fat chance of that.

“Since when is there ever no need for my involvement? You literally drag me anywhere you possibly.”

“Because I fear you becoming a hermit otherwise.”

Your cheeks warm at his words. Stupid Sylus and his need to remind you of your early days working for him.

“Says the man who’s only other companion is his mechanical crow.”

“You don’t say? You know, Gamayun, I’ve seen the way you rant to Mephisto sometimes after certain deals. You’re not too far off to becoming like me.”

You roll your eyes at him.

“Even if I, perchance, do, it’s only because of you. And those “deals” you mention are the ones where you don’t give me much to work on. Like now.”

You two are back to square one. The light-hearted atmosphere is sucked dry in that moment. It’s been replaced by a weight, a fog, of uncertainty and worry. It takes you back to before you meant Sylus, all the way to high school, when something similar happened between you and the first person you fell for.

Those memories eat away at you. Strands upon strands of memories that twine with your nerves to create discomfort in every cell in your body. You only speak in hopes it would rid you of such pain.

“Why can’t you just explain yourself to me like a normal person?”

“Because you have no need to get involved.”

“Morana,” you try using his own tactics against him. “Please just tell me.”

You walk to him this time and cup his cheek with one hand. Sylus leans into the touch, basically nuzzling your hand. You love doing this to him. You love doing this with him. And you’re probably only doing this with him in this moment because you both know somewhere in your hearts you won’t be able to in the future. You doubt his soulmate will appreciate having another woman that loves him touching him like this.

So you’ll savor it.

“What’s the benefit of hiding such a thing from me, your partner?”

“You don’t need to concern yourself with useless things.”

“So useless you’ll bring the twins?”

“They were just there for some fun.”

“Fun which you excluded me from? How rude.”

Sylus winces at your dry tone, knowing there was more to the story. Ever since he met you, he knew you had problems feeling left behind or excluded. You always felt like an outsider anywhere you went due to your powers. It got even worse once you realized you had no soulmate.

My relationship to them isn’t your problem.

So many times has those words been uttered to you. So many times have people spat them at you before they walked out your life for good, too in love to notice your broken heart. You wonder if this conversation with Sylus is the beginning of history repeating itself. If right now, the thread of your relationship is unraveling while his new one weaves together.

“Rude? Maybe. But necessary.”

“Why ever would you think that? You need to give me a valid reason.”

“You were sleeping in my arms so peacefully I couldn’t bear to wake you.”

“I said a valid reason, Morana. Not your usual nonsensical reasons.”

“It is a valid reason. I figured letting you sleep would be my way of making it up to you for stressing you yesterday.”

“It doesn’t. Telling me the truth might.”

“You drive such a hard bargain. You do remember I’m your boss, not the other way around? You work for me, sweetheart.”

“I do. But I’m more akin to a partner rather than a subordinate, even if I call you boss. So I’m entitled to the truth about your plans for this new person in our lives. I need to be involved, Morana. Why can’t I?”

“Because maybe I don’t want to get you involved.”

Your thoughts stumble at that. You shrink back from Sylus, dropping your hand and bringing it close to your chest. His eyes widen. You see the panic in them. It’s satisfying, in a sick way.

“Gamayun, that’s not what I—“

You don’t want to hear his excuses.

“You need something from her.”

Something you know you can’t get from me and you know I would stop you from taking.

Moments like these make you wonder if he knows. If he knows how you love him. If he knows you can see the threads of fate. If he knows that you know he’s not your soulmate but hers. If he knows you’re doomed to be alone.

But then you tell that part of yourself to be quiet. Because thinking about the what ifs would only drive you crazy.

“I do. And I will get it from her.”

You hold back a cringe at that. Stupid Sylus. That was no foundation for a relationship of any kind, let alone a soulmate bond.

“Not after such a hostile introduction.”

“Hostile? Me? Whenever have you known meet to be hostile, Gamayun.”

“The day we met,” you make a list of tallies on your hand as you speak. “Last week with that one arms dealer. Last month with the numerous explosions. James.”

His face twists when you mention the man. You roll your eyes.

“You and I both know that I have the best chances of resolving this peacefully.”

“Resolving. Gamayun, I haven’t done anything that needs resolving,” he smirks. “Not yet anyway. I’ll call upon your skills when they’re deemed necessary.”

It hurts a little to hear him say that, but you press on.

“Listen to me. The poor girl’s going through something; why else would an upstanding citizen of Linkon come here by choice? She’s in an unfamiliar environment. She’s been kidnapped twice. Once by you, and another by someone who, according Kieran, was going to kill her for what she had. And then you go and choke her until she fell unconscious. “

You caress his hair as you say this, leaning even closer despite your better judgement. His breath hitches and he gets closer as well.

“She’s not going to trust a word you say. And you and I both know the twins; negotiations and civil conversation isn’t their strong suit.”

The two of you laugh at this, and you vaguely wonder if this is how it feels to be a parent of insane teens. Because that’s what you think your life is sometimes.

“You’ve all made a bad impression on her. I haven’t. She’s in a sensitive spot, and I think the advice of someone with far more tact would do her good.”

“You got all that from just a glimpse? You’re better than even I thought, my sweet Gamayun.”

“Like I said before, being sweet won’t get you anywhere.”

You giggle when Sylus uses his Evol to mess with your hair. His hands hover around your waist.

“Just let me be the contact with her, alright? My relationship to her is far better than yours despite never truly meeting her. Whatever there is between you and her will be dwarfed by her grief.”

Guilt twists in your gut at that lie. Their relationship will never equal any relationship you have to either of them. But that bond doesn’t exist yet. So you’ll cling to those false words and hope they get you through this storm.

You think you have him. You think you’re about to get your answers. Instead, Sylus breaks your heart again. Except this time, it’s in a way you thought he never could.

“My relationship to her isn’t your problem.”

And just like that, you’re 16 years old again with your best friends. And then 12 with your friend’s father’s “new friend”. And then 10 with your former friends turned bullies. And then 7 with your first ever close relationship. All the times when someone spouted those same words just before they abandoned you. Just before they broke your heart, threw it the trash, and went home happily to their soulmate.

You can barely hold it together. You briefly register pushing him away, hands shaking and adrenaline practically going to war on your system. It’s different from the last time you pushed him away. So, so different. Your body betrays you in this moment. It’s on guard. It sees Sylus as a threat.

“Oh,” is all you muster.

You don’t need to see Sylus’ expression to know that your mask has slipped. All that practice acting and pretending means nothing now.

“I’ll just… I’ll just go. Yeah. I’ll just go.”

You think you hear Sylus protest. Or maybe you imagine it because you want him to chase after you unlike so many in the past didn’t. It doesn’t matter either way. You leave all the same. You leave and try to pick up the pieces of your heart while Miss Hunter slumbers away, oblivious to the plague of emotions her entire existence has brought you.

Taglist: @eolivy, @rafayelridesfisheatsfish, @animegamerfox, @jasperjokester, @schrodingerskimdokja, @just--crys, @snowdynasty, @shi-thats-kiera, @mansonofmadness, @dwuclvr, @ameilli, @katiedoesstuff101, @everythingistaken00, @napa-the-yappa, @hanaluxx, @lovesick-sylus, @madam8, @tenaciouszombiewombat, @ladyparamount, @applepi405, @midnight-reverie, @69-gojos-wife-69, @bellagrayson-wayne, @phisen, @idkmanimjusthorny, @munchychuusy, @autumn2534, @poptrim, @sillyfreakfanparty, @zaynesfirefly, @flamedancer13, @thissmartdumbass, @mrsllawliet, @jeondyy, @ssetsuka, @dels-page, @that-lost-one, @johnnysactualgf, @mariquitas-en-verano@toelady, @sinnamon-bunn, @yesbiaswrecked, @doggyteam2028, @little-rays-of-darkness, @albatrossblue, @vyntheria, @silverianni, @browneyedgirl22, @tiklestar, @beaconsxd, @pepperushia

see u in miami sukuna

caught him againnnn

Art dump :>

!!! DO NOT SAVE/RE-UPLOAD MY ARTWORK !!!

i had to