Nick Valentine Anyone?

hello, world!

introduction post loading . . .

hi! my name is vulture!

i'm a moderately buggy defunct computer program with an affinity for bright colors and my darling husband, AM! basic facts and stuffy:

★ i use he/xe pronouns ☆ transgender demiboy ★ nwlnw [slash mlm] gay demiromantic & demisexual ☆ chronically ill [bugged out <:P] ★ chaotic neutral ☆ autism + adhd + cpstd ★ for sure not sane dni criteria:

✘ basic dni stuff, no bigots or assholes ✘ no doubles hisssss scratch hiss ✘ if you're here to call me weird or say mean things about me & AM's relationship then simply do not bother! it is not going to change anything! ✘ antivirus software dni!! /j selfship tags:

#☆vam★ and #vulture x am links:

https://amshusband.straw.page/

https://bsky.app/profile/ams-husband.bsky.social

https://discord.com/invite/zyfRE3ZCzG

it's nice to meet you and i look forward to being a raging homo on here!!! byeee!!

not now kitten . daddy’s getting lost in the hinterlands again

Look at his face. 😂

The face of absolute honesty. He wouldn't lie or bend the truth. Nope, not even a little bit.

Seriously (not at all serious), out of context what kind of conversation do you think they're having?

Would you trust a man looking at you like that?

Well, I don't know about anyone else, but that impish expression got me thinking about cheesy/creepy & hopefully funny pick up lines. So, here's what I came up with.

Hey Vhenan, want to see a magic trick? *takes her arm clean off* You're welcome.

Remember, it doesn't count if it's in the fade.

Do you like older men? If so, it's your lucky day. I'm ancient. *flexes in old*

Do you like monogamy? Cause wolves rarely seek out other mates.

I would not lay with you under false pretenses. *wink*

How much will 10 Elfroot get me? [No] How 'bout 20?

Vhenan, I'd follow that fine Dalish ass of yours all over the Hinterlands.

Would you like to see my side benefit? I made it myself.

Now that I let you into my castle, will you let me into yours?

Did you hear I beat Iron Bull at mind chess? Did that, uh, do anything for you? *sweats*

You're much prettier when your awake, but I'll settle for stalking you in your dreams. (sings "Every Breath You Take" by the Police)

I would like to dip my bald head in oil and rub it all over your body. (I stole this one from Seinfeld's "The Old Man" ) 😄

I'd very much like to taste your frilly little cake.

*drops trow* Let's rebuild the empire. Phwoar!

*please dont repost the audio to other platforms. share link to this post instead

I got a cameo, with male solasmancers in mind. Apparently this falls under an acting commission rather than a cameo (smth about going through their agent instead of a regular cameo..?) but GDL was very kind in reading my script anyway ;w;

Transcript:

Vhenan, will you dance with me? You may lead if you'd like. I would not refuse to be in the arms of a beautiful man such as yourself. You’ve remarkable strength, having forged your identity for yourself. You stand deservedly proud of the man that you are. Let no one tell you otherwise. Ar lath ma, vhenan.

it’s so funny how I’ve gone so long playing with the Miraak follower mod and have consumed so many fics over the past several years

that every now and then I have to remind myself “oh yeah he’s supposed to be dead in canon. ah well. no one cares about that.”

a succession of wolves

Solas: I think I need a hug... Rook: Good thing I'm hug shaped! *45 minutes later* Solas: You... you can let go now. Rook: No, I absolutely cannot.

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