I was looking at Japanese illustration for svsss and trying to pinpoint what exactly LBH reminds me of until I got it.
It's the same picture
"Shizun, why don't you like me anymore?"
oh look, it’s scaramouche
Collection of little guys
Guns literally hatch from eggs
Last night, I dreamed there was this really popular youtube channel called “WolfpackDan”, and it was a guy who literally lived with a pack of wolves in the forest, just documenting daily life.
Now, I need you to understand that Dan was not some sort of Coyote Peterson type. He looked and dressed like someone who would pretend to get drunk off of non-alcoholic beer and say “bruh” unironically. He looked like the “bro I am straight up not having a good time” guy. But there he was, literally living in the forest with a wolf pack, recording and uploading videos with his phone.
One of his videos opened with him talking to the camera about “yeah, the pack went hunting today and just made a kill”. He turned his wrist to pan his phone over his shoulder, where four wolves are pinning down and tearing into a whitetail buck who is two gasps away from death.
“We’re actually hoping to make two kills today,” he added, panning his phone the other way to show two more wolves latching onto a second deer. “The Old Lady’s pups are growing really fast and it’s getting harder to provide for them. Once they can join the hunt, that’ll be a huge weight off everyone’s shoulders.”
He panned back to the first deer, where the wolves were now tearing into the meal. “I’m really hoping they’ll leave the pelt on this one intact,” he said. “I need a new cape. Winter is coming, guys.”
The last shot of that video was him running through the trees with the pack, with a still-bloody deer hide draped over his shoulders.
I can’t remember any more of his specific videos, but the gist I got from them was that he actually was a contributing member of the pack (hence the “we”) and had been raised at least partially by the wolves themselves. Not sure how they raised him into this dudebro-looking twenty-something with a name like Dan, but they did?
Where did he get his phone? How did he pay for his data? Who taught him English? Why did he dress like that?
I have so many questions for WolfpackDan.
I really wish Xie Lian hadn't followed this up with "haha jk" after this. I adore badass pissed of Xie Lian so much.
Shen Yuan is actually a cuddle bug. Had a ton of Luo Binghe body pillows back home not just for the merch reasons but because he needs something in his bed to squeeze when he's sleeping.
Since he started having weekly planning (boozing and bitching) sessions with Shang Qinghua, he sometimes accidentally sleeps over. After he's finished his paperwork and started on some of Qinghua's, sometimes the wine gets to him and he's just so sleepy. Or, sometimes, Shang Qinghua will let the other read some of the short stories he had written early on in his transmigration when fighting to not lose his mind. Shen Yuan would critique them, before harassing him to publish them anonymously.
("Oh, so you are capable of writing more than papapa trash."
"Aw, you like it?" "...it's good." 🙄)
But by the time he finished them, it would be so late, and it didn't make much sense to leave when a bed was right there. And Shang Qinghua had custom ordered goose feather pillows and blankets, which was so unlike his porcelain pillows, and Shang Qinghua himself is right there. Therefore. The man himself becomes his new object of comfort when asleep.
At first, Shang Qinghua used to just wave it off. Then he started to playfully complain and tease about how clingy Shen Yuan was in his sleep, and Shen Yuan would grumble and turn bright red and turn his back on him... only for them to wake up with Shen Yuan basically curled around the other like an octopus in the morning. And then it just became normal because, of course, they really only had each other, so like why not? It brought them both comfort and two people could totally cuddle platonically.
Before long, more than half the week, Shen Yuan was spending the night over, and some rare times, Shang Qinghua goes to the bamboo house. Shang Qinghua learns when to give up his piles of paperwork when his friend starts getting tired and to get more fucking rest himself. Otherwise, Shen Yuan will just walk in, curl up on his lap with his head resting on Shang Qinghua's shoulder, and fall asleep there.
("Really? I ordered those extra stuffed pillows for you, you know. Go to bed, I'll be done in a minute."
"Ugh, shut up, sleeping isn't the same when you're out here ordering new fighting posts for Bai Zhan Peak for the 5th time this month. I'll just wait here for you to finish."
"In my lap...? That's kinda gay--" 😏
"Qinghua."
"Shutting up and finishing the work." )
Those of An Ding Peak, being the peak that was basically the backbone of the entire sect and kept it running through sweat, blood, and some other bodily fluids, knew how to keep secrets from other peaks. You don't become a disciple there without knowing how to keep your mouth shut when outsiders are around. But between each other, whispers abound.
"I don't think Shen-shibo has left in two days," one disciple murmurs to another when they see Shen Qingqiu flouncing around yet again, ordering one of the disciples to bring some two small meals to their Shifu's rooms for a late dinner.
"Do you think they're... you know?" Another asks quietly after delivering some new contracts to their Shifu. The door to his bedroom had been slightly ajar, and through the cracks, green leaf-pattern outer robes were on the ground.
("I'm not sleeping in these, okay! You should have written in pajamas while you were busy adding in chocolate, and whatever else doesn't exist in Ancient China, to PIDW!" 😒
"Oh my god, just sleep in your inner robes, then! Better yet, borrow some of my clothes. But you're sure as fuck not sleeping naked on my silk sheets, bro!")
The disciples on Qing Jing Peak certainly notice when the bamboo hut isn't occupied for the night. At first, they just thought that their Shizun was extra silent in his house now, but once, Ming Fan had to go to Shizun for a small issue late in the evening, and he wasn't there. Nor was he there the next night, or the next. They're not sure where he is, or what he's doing, but he's always there in the morning, so they don't worry too much.
On the fourth night, Shizun was home, but Shang-shishu was also there. And... stayed there. The lights went out, and the disciples who were sent out to spy came back and reported that Shang-shishu had never left.
("He... is Shang-shishu still in there?"
"I think so. M-maybe he stayed in the extra bedroom?"
"..." 👀
"..." 👀)
The disciples eye each other and simultaneously agree to never let those outside the peak know about this. When crossing paths with A Ding disciples, there are discreet looks and nods of understanding, and they pass each other by with not a word.
(Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua?)
----
One bright and sunny morning, Liu Qingge slams his way into Shang Qinghua's office. He is followed by Mu Qingfang, and Yue Qingyuan, all needing to speak with Shang Qingqua to figure out Shen Qingqiu's whereabouts. He wasn't in his bamboo hut this morning, nor was he anywhere else that he typically frequented.
Mu Qingfang because it was time for his bimonthly check-up to ensure that his treatments with Liu Qingge were progressing as they should. Yue Qingyuan due to peak matters (though, technically, he could do it on his own, but if he got to see Xiao Jiu--). Liu Qingge because the beast that he had dropped on his doorstep yesterday afternoon had yet to be removed, which was odd. And also, he had ordered new fighting posts a week ago, and usually they would have been delivered by now, which was also odd.
Wei Qingwei and Qi Qingqi also follow along because they could smell drama. And also they were a tiny bit worried about their shixiong. Whenever he disappeared for too long, it was likely that he had gotten kidnapped or poisoned. Again.
Shang Qinghua scrambles out of his bed chambers with hastily thrown-on outer robes, blurry-eyed, screaming "Whoosit!?" He barely has time to open his mouth before he is instantly bombarded with several requests, most of them pertaining to the apparent missing peak lord. Liu Qingge also asks about his fighting posts, which Shang Qinghua pretends not to hear.
"We've not seen him in a few days," Mu Qingfang says to him over the noise, with an apologetic smile for waking up his overworked shixiong. "I know you two are somewhat friends, so if you see him soon, please tell him he really needs to come to Qian Cao for his next physical."
"Wait, who's missing? Ah, please don't touch that." The last part is directed at Qi Qingqi, who is combing through his shelves. "Shen Qingqiu is apparently missing, according to this bunch," Qi Qingqi says, smirking at him. She pokes the figurine he told her not to touch. Oh well, she'll realize why he told her not to touch it soon enough.
"Shen Qingqiu? What do you mean, he's--" Shang Qinghua instantly closes his mouth, hoping that no one heard that. "I-I mean, yeah, I'll let you guys know if he stops by! No problem, will absolutely send him your way--" "What was that?" Liu Qingge narrows his eyes at him. "You were about to say something. You know where he is. Tell me."
Shang Qinghua begins to sweat immediately. "Whaaat? No, you must have heard wrong. Seriously, I'll let you guys know if I catch him. Now, if you guys can be on your way--" He starts trying to herd people out.
Unbeknownst to him, his bedroom door cracks open and a figure, eyes barely open, shuffles out and heads towards him. Wei Qingwei, idling in the office, is the first to notice the person wearing another set of An Ding Blue outer robes over soft Qing Jing Green inner ones. His jaw drops.
"Qinghua?" A soft, sleepy voice murmurs in his ear, arms circling around his waist and a head laying on his shoulder from behind. "It's too early, come back to bed." A small yawn.
Shang Qinghua can feel himself freeze with a nervous smile on his face.
Shit.
HELLOOOO TGCF NATION!!! TODAY I BRING YOU AN AU IDEA‼️🫵
So I've been watching this show called Monk lately and MY GOSH I love it- so very normal about it that my brain went "Skip!! What if we made an au inspired by this!!"
And so I present to you:
------
Where Xie Lian is the best detective there- who can figure out every single case no matter how impossible it seems, but his luck is so terrible that something always goes wrong (like his evidence suddenly missing) and eventually, he gets laid off the force.
Hua Cheng on the other hand, has looked up to Xie Lian ever since they were at the academy and Xie Lian defended him in a case where he was wrongfully accused (also the case that made Xie Lian popular)
Hua Cheng now, is said to be a "good luck charm" because whoever has him on their team ALWAYS ends up solving their cases!! Like wherever he goes evidence will just pop up so he's seen as someone super lucky
On hearing about what happened to Xie Lian, he offers to work with him to solve cases and prove that xl is capable and can get back in the force.
They'd balance each other out and although people think they're an unusual duo, they seem to work pretty well together!!
-----
I haven't thought much about the side characters but so far I'm thinking they work for a detective agency headed by Jun Wu, who has the public persona of an angel but he's secretly into some pretty shady stuff,,,,
Let's just say Xie Lian's cases where evidence went missing,,, most of them might've been from cases Jun Wu would've been involved in.
Y'all know I am an AVID fengqing enjoyer so ofc we have those two, always bickering but being the best duo, always able to bounce off of each other, always getting paired to go on missions together‼️‼️
Yin Yu and Yizhen?? Maybe Yin Yu landed the role of a secratary even though he always wanted to be a detective. Yizhen is someone who kinda just tagged along with him but ended up getting the detective job instead of him. Which is messy but he buys him coffee every break they have cuz he has a massive crush on him. Don't tell him I told you that tho. Not that he's trying hard to hide it.
I came up with this au pretty recently so I haven't fully figured it out yet!! But I do like the idea a lot :D