Modern AU Meetcute Where SY Gets Into An Argument For The Ages On A Shitty Webnovel Forum With Some Guy

Please Don’t Tell Him to Pull up

The JL has a problem. Specifically a problem with Marvel. See, whenever they call him in for back up or even just to chat, he pulls up in the most ridiculous ways.

JL: *fighting villain on a beach*

Supes: “We need back up! Someone call, Cap!”

Flash: “I thought he was—” *dodges punch* “—busy!”

Supes: “Well, he better become unbusy! Call him!”

They called him, and guess how he decided to show up.

Marvel: *riding surfboard while a big ass Kraken chases after him*

Aquaman: *has to pause, amazed awe*

Supes: “What are you lo— oh my God.” *has to pause too*

Marvel: *does a little kick flip, nearly falls*

The villain didn’t notice him until a large shadow loomed over them, and he was promptly picked up by the Kraken’s beak and taken away.

Flash: “Did we just see a man die?”

Aquaman: “Cap, that was awesome!”

or

JL: *fighting aliens*

Hero: “Guys we need more back up!”

Hero 2: “I’ll call it in!”

5 minutes later…

Marvel: *flying above them and lets himself freefall*

Supes: *pauses* “We have to get out of here.” *can deadass hear him falling*

The JL quickly rounded themselves up and dipped immediately as Billy let himself fall onto a bunch of aliens at like Mach 12 making a crater.

He loves dramatic entrances.

I think it was Minato the one who found Kakashi after Sakumo's death

Wizard: Oh, I like your Goblin detecting sword! That's funny.

Goblin who thought they just had a cool glowing sword: ... My what now?

when jason died, they buried him with the possessions that he carried on him all the time. there was a pocket knife tucked into his sock, the bracelet on his wrist from catherine that he never took off, a tangled pair of earbuds in his back pocket, and, in the top pocket of his jacket, the cellphone that bruce bought for him after he was adopted.

that cellphone stayed with jason in his grave. went with him when he dug his way out. somehow stayed on his person when he was taken by the league, and he managed to convince talia to let him keep it throughout all his training.

he doesn’t know why, maybe as a grief thing or maybe just because bruce forgot and it’s not like the bill effected him in any way, but he never stopped paying jason’s phone bill. his number’s still active, still working after all this time. even weirder, but dick started adopting the tradition of adding his dead brother’s phone number to each and every family group chat any of them created after ethiopia. again, jason doesn’t know why. maybe it was dick’s way of carrying his memory with them; including him in family conversations even if they all thought the number was connected to a long buried phone in the pocket of a long dead boy.

the point is that jason wasn’t dead any more. and all throughout his time at the league, he gets to watch the family chats. the mission statuses, the arguments, the rapid spiral every chat went through where they started off using it as a serious bat communication centre only for dick or tim to send a meme and instantly spiral into nothing but chaos that bruce would neither take part in or attempt to stop. jason spectates it all, always fingering the keypad but never actually typing out a message. he came close when there was a heated debate between steph and dick about the best donut types and he knew they were both absolutely fucking wrong, but luckily tim came in to educate them on the right choice last second and jason was saved from having to reveal himself.

the closest call was when little damian got a hold of his phone, attracted to the bright colours of the block game jason had been absently playing out of boredom while ra’s droned on about whatever had pissed him off that day. he’d let the kid play, sat on his lap and eagerly jabbing at the screen, and jason had only looked away for at most a minute before he’d turned back to find the screen open on the family chat, damian having accidentally clicked on the camera button and taken a selfie of the two that he’d been about to send through. luckily, jason deleted it in time, but he became much more careful about letting the kid play with his shit after that.

this is all just a long winded explanation and backstory for and au i think would be funny where jason’s reveal is literally just him deciding to fuck with his family by randomly dropping in through text like:

-in the chat-

bruce: status report.

dick: hungry :( but good!

steph: seconded, im fine

tim: drug bust went to plan, on way back to cave uninjured

cass: ^ same answer

babs: everything seems calm from what i can tell

jason: a little claustrophobic but the coffin’s kinda homely so ig no complaints from me

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several people are typing…

Only crested birds allowed ✋🏻🚫

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Naruto and sensei ( ´ ω ` )

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

TRICK OR TREAT!!! Studio Ghibli? Or atla? I've never been able to participate in your prompt fills, hopefully this gets in on time!! Love your writing, love you!

Sophie is a talented witch, so she doesn’t have to do more than glance at Howl before she sighs. “That poor boy is missing his heart.” 

“Like you’re one to talk,” her fire demon grumbles beside her, “You gave me your youth to save me. Which was very stupid, by the way.”

“So you’ve said,” she says, amused. “Many times.” 

She scowls and shrugs, saying, “Maybe we should stick our nose in. Maybe we can help each other, figure out a way to break the other’s curse.”

“And if not, at least your get to talk to another fallen star for a while?” Sophie asks, and before her demon can respond, she barrels forward, “Yes, fine, I suppose we don’t have anything better to do.”

Dick, tired after another session of being bullied by his own siblings: God, do we even have someone in this family who is accepting?

Tim: Well, not me and Steph, obviously

Damian: I am not in this particular competition. Perhaps Cain?

Stephanie, scoffing: Absolutely not my beautiful Cass. She judges you hard every day in my dms.

Dick, hopeful: Duke?

Damian, who had been shit-talking about others with Duke for a year now: You have a wrong idea in mind, Grayson.

Cassandra, appearing out of nowhere: Jason.

Tim, instantly protesting: No! He is like, professional hater.

Cassandra, shrugging: Does he hate things? Yes. Does he judge? No. Try admitting the most different things to him — you will see.

Everyone: ...

Everyone: On it.

Tim, eying at Jason, who sits in the Batcave during one of the missions: Jason?

Jason: Mhm?

Tim: Urgh... I fucked up. Forgot about Bart's birthday.

Jason: Okay? Just aplogise and gift him stuff.

Tim: ...Okay, wtf, since when you are so understanding?

Jason: Wtf?

Duke: Urgh, Jason?

Jason: What?

Duke: I got in the fight in school.

Jason: Well, you clearly won?

Duke: Yeah, sure.

Jason: Cool. Have fun dealing with the aftermath.

Duke: ...

Duke: ...Thanks?

Stephanie: I eat pineapple pizza and coat my watermelon with Nutella.

Jason:

Jason: ...Okay? Bon appetite?

Stephanie: !!!

Damian: I probably killed someone by the accident.

Jason: Aha. Is that a request for my cleaning services or just an information to keep in mind?

Damian: ...Second one.

Jason: Ok. Have fun.

Dick, a week after: Man, okay, you are clearly not high, I checked. What is the secret of such an angelic level of acceptance while being a hater????

Jason: I follow the Idk+Idc rule. I don't know and I don't care.

Dick: But don't you feel outrageous? At least sometimes? LIKE, MAN, WATERMELON AND NUTELLA?

Jason: I don't know. I don't care.

Jason, after a beat of silence: Unless it is Bruce. Him, I judge.

Dick: ...Of course.