Drew my favorite grass type, Floragato!! :3
okay contrary to a previous post i made: what if jason wrote fanfiction but it became a MC Daredevil situation where literally everyone knew his identity but he just waves them off
Jason: *writing A/N* here you go guys, sorry, something came up with my job comments: we all know it was the warehouse penguin blew up. its all over the news jason: *responding* idk what you're even talking about dude, i don't own a tv. how could a flightless avian blow up a warehouse
jason: this chapter's gonna be a little dark cuz that's my mood this week comments: is it because they took you off the earth's greatest threats list? jason: they wh---no of course not
jason: *posts* comments: we missed you red hood! jason: idk who that guy is but he sounds cool
jason: ugh, have you guys seen the new episode? shit's horrible. here's a fix-it. comments: do you . . . perhaps . . . think its horrible because they misused the gun props . . . jason: no i was talking about x character dying but YES OH MY GOD THAT PART HURT ME TO WATCH comments: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
comments: so when r u going to change your ao3 name to redhood? jason: i fucking swear if one more of you moterfuckers insinuates that i am the gotham vigilante known as the red hood i will withhold five of my most recently written chapters from the entire fucking lot of you comments: . . . you'd never jason: fuck
comments: you have an interestinly in-depth and expanisve kowledge of firearms jason: well, we all have hobbies jason: mine was born out of fear of the ao3 author curse. ima fuckin shoot the thing the moment i see it comin comments:
You drop a small piece of food on the floor, and decide to kick it under the oven/couch/whatever because you can’t be bothered to pick it up. As you’re walking away, you hear a very quiet “Thank you!” from under it.
i think the finale arc of the adventure zone is literally the most fucking powerful piece of media ever created and here’s why
you know that opening narration in Watchmen where rorshach is all “they’ll look up and scream save us, and i’ll look down and whisper no” and it’s all very gritty and dramatic and uhuhu sheeple
it’s literally the total fucking opposite of that
the apocalypse is bearing down, a hundred billion voices screaming in cacophonous and deafening unison GIVE UP AND DIE, and the entire world shares a glance, and takes a breath, and looks up and says:
No.
And I don’t believe I have ever seen something with such a powerful faith in humanity. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something that describes such an unshakeable connectedness, such an unbreakable will to exist. The apocalypse is happening and people are still fighting.
And I think that especially now, especially in times of such upheaval and uncertainty, and now with the threat of nuclear war looming from the darker corners of our political houses, we need more than ever stories that say what this one does–and I have never seen it more clearly and more beautifully communicated.
It’s not over until you stop fighting.
so i’m sure the remake of a timeless classic that disney is about to roll out is going to be great and all
but here’s another way we could do things:
he’s the beauty
she’s the beast
for a movie who’s central theme is inner beauty, it doesn’t really do anything to support that, you know? so how about this: adam, our prince turned beast, isn’t an inhospitable monster. because this back story doesn’t make any sense – why is the young prince of this land alone, in a castle, only to be caught unaware by a witch?
so how about this – this is pseudo france, right, so these royals do what their real life counterparts did. they flee. the cruel, greedy king and queen flee and leave their young son behind with their staff. their son who is kind and soft hearted and totally unfit to rule any kingdom (never mind that they’re literally running away from their own people). not only that – they trade their son for their freedom, trade their kingdom for their freedom. to the witch.
so the witch comes, and she doesn’t disguise herself as a crone, goes to him looking as lovely and young as her magic keeps her. but our prince adam has a talent, one many cast-aside, neglected children have developed – the ability to see people for who they really are, and he knows this is no kind young woman in need of his help. he refuses to let her in – and there’s this little twist to the magic, that she can only enter the palace grounds and claim her prize if she’s welcomed in a as a guest, and he, the young master of this castle, won’t let her in.
Keep reading
Captain Marvel gets kidnapped and put under a magical truth spell except it’s the Marvel & Billy Are Separate People AU so the kidnappers don’t get any info on his (Billy’s) secret identity
Kidnapper: “Alright Marvel! What’s your real name?”
Captain Marvel: “Captain Marvel”
Kidnapper: “what??? No! I mean your real name!”
Cap: “my real name is Captain Marvel”
Kidnapper: “what?! Ugh nevermind. How old are you?”
Cap: “I’m supposed to keep count of that?”
Kidnapper, getting more frustrated by the second: “just- just give me a rough estimate”
Cap: “at least a few million years, though I was asleep for a few thousand”
Kidnapper: “…”
Kidnapper, moving on: “well, where do you live?”
Cap: *shrugs*
Kidnapper: “you can’t just shrug! Where do you live?!?!”
Cap: “the rock, I guess”
Kidnapper: “the rock- WHAT IS THE ROCK?”
Cap: “basically a big cave”
Kidnapper: “YOU LIVE IN A CAVE???”
I absolutely love the genre of posts of Damian making up an excuse of how he knows of a Jason Todd to hide the fact he is alive and knew each other in the LOA.
For my take Jason Todd is now the name of the pet fox Damian has at home.
Damian under his breathe: Jason Todd you are the biggest fool to ever live.
Dick magically hearing him: What did you say Damian? Jason??
Damian panicking: I-I uh Jason Todd is the name of my pet fox.
Tim: You have a pet fox?
Dick: You named it Jason... Todd?
Damian: Yes... I was learning English at the time and thought it was amusing to call an animal a name that meant itself. Of course he needed a first name so I named him Jason as I had recently finished the Argonautica.
Not wanting to question his new brother Dick: That's very cute Damian 😀
Once Bruce hears about it.
Bruce: Damian why don't you ask your mother to bring your fox... Jason over?
Damian: uhhh no. He is quite old and would not do well with the long trip. He is very comfortable back home and I do not think he would like any of you.
Jason on the other side of Gotham sneezing.
Later in a safehouse.
Damian: Todd I need you to acquire a fox and send it back home to mother so that I have photo evidence.
Jason: What?
Damian: I may have accidentally send your name in the presence of Grayson and then fabricated a lie that I was referring to my pet fox named Jason Todd.
Jason sighing: What type?
Damian: A melanistic fox. To match your choice in hair color.
-🐳
THIS IS SO FUNNY. batfamily are absolutely concerned and freaking out on the background, which Damian is not aware with—
Dick: that's so scary. why would he name his fox like that? is that what kid do now?
Bruce: ...maybe Talia told him stories of our family, so he wouldn't feel alienated once he joins us, and he took an inspiration?
Tim: oh, come on. had you guys never had a weird obsession with your predecessor and just formed a strange unhealthy connection with him to the point of creating tulpa?
Dick: what.
Bruce: ?
Tim: uhh, anyway. i had seen Damian chatting with Jason Todd contact on his phone. but that's probably these character ai chats, yk?
Bruce and Dick: ?????
*a few weeks later*
Damian, calling Jason in panic: i demand you to work on your revenge plan FASTER.
Jason, in the Red Hood attire, slurping slushie, while playing Uno with his goons: gee, what happened this time?
Damian: i am waiting for my appointment to the child psychologist as we speak.
Jason: excuse me?
Damian: they think you are my... tulpa. whatever that means.
Jason: *dies out of laughter*
when jason died, they buried him with the possessions that he carried on him all the time. there was a pocket knife tucked into his sock, the bracelet on his wrist from catherine that he never took off, a tangled pair of earbuds in his back pocket, and, in the top pocket of his jacket, the cellphone that bruce bought for him after he was adopted.
that cellphone stayed with jason in his grave. went with him when he dug his way out. somehow stayed on his person when he was taken by the league, and he managed to convince talia to let him keep it throughout all his training.
he doesn’t know why, maybe as a grief thing or maybe just because bruce forgot and it’s not like the bill effected him in any way, but he never stopped paying jason’s phone bill. his number’s still active, still working after all this time. even weirder, but dick started adopting the tradition of adding his dead brother’s phone number to each and every family group chat any of them created after ethiopia. again, jason doesn’t know why. maybe it was dick’s way of carrying his memory with them; including him in family conversations even if they all thought the number was connected to a long buried phone in the pocket of a long dead boy.
the point is that jason wasn’t dead any more. and all throughout his time at the league, he gets to watch the family chats. the mission statuses, the arguments, the rapid spiral every chat went through where they started off using it as a serious bat communication centre only for dick or tim to send a meme and instantly spiral into nothing but chaos that bruce would neither take part in or attempt to stop. jason spectates it all, always fingering the keypad but never actually typing out a message. he came close when there was a heated debate between steph and dick about the best donut types and he knew they were both absolutely fucking wrong, but luckily tim came in to educate them on the right choice last second and jason was saved from having to reveal himself.
the closest call was when little damian got a hold of his phone, attracted to the bright colours of the block game jason had been absently playing out of boredom while ra’s droned on about whatever had pissed him off that day. he’d let the kid play, sat on his lap and eagerly jabbing at the screen, and jason had only looked away for at most a minute before he’d turned back to find the screen open on the family chat, damian having accidentally clicked on the camera button and taken a selfie of the two that he’d been about to send through. luckily, jason deleted it in time, but he became much more careful about letting the kid play with his shit after that.
this is all just a long winded explanation and backstory for and au i think would be funny where jason’s reveal is literally just him deciding to fuck with his family by randomly dropping in through text like:
-in the chat-
bruce: status report.
dick: hungry :( but good!
steph: seconded, im fine
tim: drug bust went to plan, on way back to cave uninjured
cass: ^ same answer
babs: everything seems calm from what i can tell
jason: a little claustrophobic but the coffin’s kinda homely so ig no complaints from me
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several people are typing…