Captain Marvel gets kidnapped and put under a magical truth spell except it’s the Marvel & Billy Are Separate People AU so the kidnappers don’t get any info on his (Billy’s) secret identity
Kidnapper: “Alright Marvel! What’s your real name?”
Captain Marvel: “Captain Marvel”
Kidnapper: “what??? No! I mean your real name!”
Cap: “my real name is Captain Marvel”
Kidnapper: “what?! Ugh nevermind. How old are you?”
Cap: “I’m supposed to keep count of that?”
Kidnapper, getting more frustrated by the second: “just- just give me a rough estimate”
Cap: “at least a few million years, though I was asleep for a few thousand”
Kidnapper: “…”
Kidnapper, moving on: “well, where do you live?”
Cap: *shrugs*
Kidnapper: “you can’t just shrug! Where do you live?!?!”
Cap: “the rock, I guess”
Kidnapper: “the rock- WHAT IS THE ROCK?”
Cap: “basically a big cave”
Kidnapper: “YOU LIVE IN A CAVE???”
you know it really isnt immoral, if you do it right, to raise cows and sheep for meat. so. well. i think there should be a story about, vampires who have a town of humans that they keep well-maintained, so long as the humans donate their blood once a month, like vampire blood farm stuff
but instead of antagonistic everyone's like. no he's a nice man you leave the count alone. he keeps us safe and cared for and he just needs a lil snack now and then, it dont hurt anyone. like a cow that loves the farmer and the farmer that loves the cow, even with both knowing one will end up on the other's table. because its like. its like. cows just have such pretty eyes, you know? they love you so much. i think it should be like that
2022 edition✨
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