Jason collects stickers. He doesn't really use them, to scared to waste them. A habit from his childhood..his mother would always give Jason the sticker from her chewing gum, that she tried to use to get over her smoking addiction.
He has a whole sticker book, for his favorite stickers. Somethimes it's these fruit stickers, the ones he gets from the fruit a kind and grateful grandma will give him after helping her, or the sticker a street kid will hand him, like a good job treat. Or a sticker damian made in art class.
Dick of course, feeds into that addiction for jason. He finds out about jason having a hobby, and having a reserved spot for his favorite stickers.
He wants to make it to the favorite spot.
So he looks for stickers, like a bird does for sticks for a nest, or a pebble, just the perfect ones.
He goes and hands them to jason, like a dog will hand a big ol stick for their human to throw.
Jason was confused at first, because why is dick handing him stickers all the time? At first it were silly cat ones. He likes them, so they go to the box of silly animal stickers. Then he gets car themed ones. They are nice, he puts them to the transportation ones.
Dick, evrey week, asks to see jasons favorite sticker book collection, saying he just wants to see what made it on the list today.
dick is confused and frustated and how his never make the cut.
So dick just gave up with that. He didn't want jason to think that he was going distant with him, so he continued to hand him stickers evrey now and then, and ask to see his favorite stickers collection.
The other bats of course want stickers aswell. So one day, dick buys a sticker sheet with "god job!" "Great job!" "You are a star!" Ones,
Like praises for missions gone well.
The others don't really love stickers the same way as jason might, and dick knows. So he just sticks it to their forehead, or amor, like a joke. But hands it to jason carefully, so he can do whatever he wants with it.
One Friday, at the bar, dick looks over jasons collection.
To see his "God job!" Sticker, at the front page.
It made the cut.
No, Dick grayson made the cut.
because being himself was enough.
The JL has a problem. Specifically a problem with Marvel. See, whenever they call him in for back up or even just to chat, he pulls up in the most ridiculous ways.
JL: *fighting villain on a beach*
Supes: “We need back up! Someone call, Cap!”
Flash: “I thought he was—” *dodges punch* “—busy!”
Supes: “Well, he better become unbusy! Call him!”
They called him, and guess how he decided to show up.
Marvel: *riding surfboard while a big ass Kraken chases after him*
Aquaman: *has to pause, amazed awe*
Supes: “What are you lo— oh my God.” *has to pause too*
Marvel: *does a little kick flip, nearly falls*
The villain didn’t notice him until a large shadow loomed over them, and he was promptly picked up by the Kraken’s beak and taken away.
Flash: “Did we just see a man die?”
Aquaman: “Cap, that was awesome!”
or
JL: *fighting aliens*
Hero: “Guys we need more back up!”
Hero 2: “I’ll call it in!”
5 minutes later…
Marvel: *flying above them and lets himself freefall*
Supes: *pauses* “We have to get out of here.” *can deadass hear him falling*
The JL quickly rounded themselves up and dipped immediately as Billy let himself fall onto a bunch of aliens at like Mach 12 making a crater.
He loves dramatic entrances.
Do you think the PJO Demigods, when they are allowed to use social media, are as obsessed with Epic as the rest of us?
Or do you think that College age Percy and Crew are secretly working with Jorge in making Epic?
Because, just imagine Percy just randomly appearing in Atlantis, walking up to his dad, and randomly asking "so what do you think of the Manwhore AU?"
And Poseidon is just utterly confused.
okay contrary to a previous post i made: what if jason wrote fanfiction but it became a MC Daredevil situation where literally everyone knew his identity but he just waves them off
Jason: *writing A/N* here you go guys, sorry, something came up with my job comments: we all know it was the warehouse penguin blew up. its all over the news jason: *responding* idk what you're even talking about dude, i don't own a tv. how could a flightless avian blow up a warehouse
jason: this chapter's gonna be a little dark cuz that's my mood this week comments: is it because they took you off the earth's greatest threats list? jason: they wh---no of course not
jason: *posts* comments: we missed you red hood! jason: idk who that guy is but he sounds cool
jason: ugh, have you guys seen the new episode? shit's horrible. here's a fix-it. comments: do you . . . perhaps . . . think its horrible because they misused the gun props . . . jason: no i was talking about x character dying but YES OH MY GOD THAT PART HURT ME TO WATCH comments: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
comments: so when r u going to change your ao3 name to redhood? jason: i fucking swear if one more of you moterfuckers insinuates that i am the gotham vigilante known as the red hood i will withhold five of my most recently written chapters from the entire fucking lot of you comments: . . . you'd never jason: fuck
comments: you have an interestinly in-depth and expanisve kowledge of firearms jason: well, we all have hobbies jason: mine was born out of fear of the ao3 author curse. ima fuckin shoot the thing the moment i see it comin comments:
Headcannon that Alfred has a secret Instagram account. He just posts about the insane household accidents at Wayne Manor with literally no context.
His most popular post is simply captioned "Master Tim set the kitchen on fire attempting to make toast. Again."
Somehow, the account has over 500,000 followers of people growing increasingly invested.
His other popular posts include:
Muddy footprints acrross a gorgeous ceiling: “I have many questions about how Master Jason's boot prints came to be on the ceiling of the east wing corridor. He refuses to explain beyond claiming it was 'definitely Tim's fault' and that 'gravity was being unreasonable today.' Master Bruce has requested I not ask further questions.”
A photo of numerous coffee mugs hidden in bizarre locations: "The ongoing archaeological expedition to retrieve Master Tim's forgotten coffee cups continues. Today's discoveries included one inside a houseplant, two behind the grandfather clock, and one inexplicably on the chandelier."
A broken window with an arrow through it: "Master Damian's archery practice has once again violated our agreement about 'appropriate indoor activities.' Master Bruce has been informed."
A ceiling covered in colorful splatters: "Master Dick insisted his acrobatic skills would allow him to carry an entire birthday cake while performing a triple somersault. The ceiling disagrees."
An image of a completely disassembled grandfather clock with parts meticulously arranged on the floor: "Master Barbara asked for the time. Master Timothy decided the clock was 'running 0.002 seconds slow' and required immediate intervention. Dinner will be delayed until the main entrance is passable again."
The east wing covered in rubber ducks: “Master Dick claimed it was 'for science.' When pressed further, admitted it was retaliation for Master Jason's previous week's glitter bomb incident. Have scheduled additional therapy sessions for all parties involved.”
Alfred never mentions Batman or vigilante activities, but the posts are so outlandish people straight up have conspiracy theories about them.
Follower: "Time travelers. It's the only explanation for how they survive. They redo the timeline when things go wrong."
@ ManorMishaps: "If time travel were involved, I would hope they'd prevent incidents rather than merely surviving them. The toaster budget alone would benefit from such intervention."
Follower: "Alien research facility. The purple slime? The color-changing ceiling? ALIENS."
@ ManorMishaps: "I believe you've been watching too many science fiction programs. Though I must admit the ceiling phenomenon continues to baffle our contractor."
Follower: "These are clearly stunt performers for action movies. No normal family could cause this much property damage."
@ ManorMishaps: "An interesting theory. However, I've yet to see any of our incidents recreated in Hollywood. They lack the imagination."
Follower: "Wait, is that a BATARANG in the background of the third pic???"
@ ManorMishaps: "I believe you're seeing the shadow of an unusually shaped serving spoon. Nothing to see here."