Komisasu - VESSEL

Credits || Nareku

Date idea: Dragging you through the woods by the noose I forced around your neck

(ゝ◡╹)ノ don't be fooled by my appearance, I'm an ugly girl on the inside!

i dont want to have a body

Explanations:

1) beliefs:

I hate having to pretend that I changed my mind/still believe something another alter told someone when I never believed in it at all

2) goals:

We’ve got a lot of artists, but we also have a writer. Sometimes they want us to write 500 words or sth a day. I don’t want to. Stuff like that

3) skill:

This is self explanatory, but it’s hard to work on projects (e.g. a webcomic) when my art style changes— it makes keeping a consistent schedule impossible

honorable mention: relationships

it's annoying to have to hang out with someone I dislike just because someone else made plans because they like them

Need a creepy anon in my life. Terrify me. Threaten me. I just want attention.

finally bought clothes ! if only i was cute enough to wear them without feeling dead inside

one of the most important things about dissociative identity disorder and generally being a system that i wish people would understand is that it truly isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem for member count.

you’ll see people who say they have “six alters” and then immediately assume it’s six fully fleshed out equal individuals with no confusion or fuzziness regarding identity. that’s simply not true in a majority of cases, as i have seen.

most systems still VERY much deal with confusion regarding potential splits, go through dissociative episodes where they’re unsure of who they are, sometimes feel no attachment towards any identities, feel like they might have split and then suddenly that person is gone, unsure if alters they haven’t heard from often have gone dormant, not sure how to react when alters do come out of dormancy, etc.

it’s not a fun feeling and it’s genuinely unfair in certain situations to force systems to list every single alter to you with full certainty, as if it will never change. because it will. for so many different reasons, systems will grow, they will shrink, they will fuse, they will develop. you can’t expect the person with the dissociative disorder and lack of core identity to be able to keep up a perfected list of forever, it’s simply impossible. you may have alters who stick with you, but that doesn’t mean changes won’t happen.

and systems who may be reading this — please don’t feel bad. you are not a hassle, you are not a headache, and you are not an inconvenience for simply coping with something like this. it’s out of your control and the only thing you can do is continue to cope to find ways to help yourself retrain from these reactions. please don’t allow yourself to be harmed by others who don’t understand what you are going through. there are people who will accept and love you for who you are, all of you.

past, present, and future.

I love the ugliness of love. Removing love from its socially accepted roots. Love as not a mere source of tragedy and sadness, but as an active corruptive power over those it mystifies. Love as the addiction without cure and the wound forever bleeding. I love seeing the beauty of something so coveted spun on its head.