What Am I?

I sit down next to my friend.

I can take care of myself.

Any advice, or links to pages I can get advice, for things like tucking, and getting started trying to pass? I really appreciate any help you can give me! Hope to hear from you soon. Isabel-Lynn

Dear Isabel-Lynn:

Tucking:

To those of you who don’t know what tucking means, it basically means to hide the fact you have a ‘malehood’ as some call it. Some find it incredibly uncomfortable and others are completely okay with it. My recommendation is that you read here…

http://www.racked.com/2010/8/3/7792181/how-to-tuck-dolls-stepbystep-guide-to-packaging-and-panties

And -only- in the section predated by “in RuPaul’s book Lettin’ It All Hang Out she outlines the perfect tuck.” I’m not too much of a fan of the rest of the article given it feels kind of… Uncomfortably worded.

If tucking hurts, don’t do it. It’s not worth damaging your body.

Starting to pass- THE VOICE:

Voice training voice training voice training. I struggle with my voice because I am abhorrently tone deaf, however it is important that you start to try. There are many places to look or to try to look for voice training help, though professional voice trainers exist and I’ve heard miraculous things about them before. 

If you want to try it at home, there’s a wonderful reddit post. https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/1ske7b/mtf_voice_training_regimen/

You *may or may not be* comfortable with taking a voice recording program and playing back how you hear. While it can be uncomfortable it can also help you piece out what your issue is. Many DMAB [designated male @ birth] women struggle with their voice because they think pitch is everything. My biggest struggle is learning to not speak with my throat and chest, which causes the deeper ‘rumbly’ parts of your voice. Keep at it, hon, it’s something we all struggle with.

Starting to pass- THE LOOKS:

Find what works for you. I have found things that do work for me or don’t work for me whatsoever, for example eyeliner works great for me. For me, Target sells cheap but good makeup to get started with. It won’t cost you $100 for a single piece, but it’s still not cheap! Straightening my hair works great for me– get haircuts! Don’t be afraid to find androgynous ones if you feel safest not going straight to fully feminine. It’s totally understandable. 

Things that shape your face in ways you like are important. Scarves in the winter can help hide your adam’s apple if it’s prominent. Take care of your hands– use moisturizer, take care of your nails, the likes. 

Starting to pass- THE CLOTHES:

You’re a girl! Find clothes you like. Don’t be afraid to wear guy’s clothing if you want– it’s your choice– but I’ve personally found that it’s difficult to not frame my shoulders in an obvious way. I’ve seen some people recommend waist cinches (basically a corset) but I recommend being cautious about this. I don’t know the health risks. Below are two highly rated women’s waist cinches.

https://www.amazon.com/Flexees-Instant-Slimmer-Waistnipper-6868/dp/B0007UOLIK/ref=pd_sbs_a_17

https://www.amazon.com/Squeem-Magical-Lingerie-Shapewear-Compression/dp/B000QWA2GY/ref=sr_1_1?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1326843132&sr=1-1

Find colors and shapes that work for you. Frilled skirts can break some of the image.

OTHER THINGS- HORMONES

Hormones! If you’re a transgender woman, hormones are important. They do a lot for you. They make your body redistribute fat, soften the facial features, slim certain areas, (apparently they shrink your shoe size), reduce hair growth in certain locations (not the face), and in general soften the skin and hair. Try looking for local doctors regarding hormonal replacement therapy [HRT]. 

OTHER THINGS- SHAVING

Shaving your face is one of the important things. Sadly an obvious beard or shadow is a pretty good giveaway. If you’re going for guaranteed full-time, laser procedures (while requiring many visits) are able to almost permanently remove your facial hair. It can be somewhat painful and sensitive after (I’ve heard it be compared to having a rubber band be snapped against your face). 

OTHER THINGS- BE YOURSELF

Don’t ever, ever think that you can’t be yourself. Be the person that you want to see yourself be, don’t sacrifice interests or passions for the sake of trying to pass. If you like to skateboard, skateboard. Videogames– play them! Be yourself. Confidence is key and you won’t be confident if you forego every interst you’ve had that’s masculine. Love yourself and treat yourself like you are who you want to be– but don’t forget that you don’t have to leave everything behind.

I hope this helps you and everyone else on here that needs help, Isabel-Lynn. The future will be bright. While things may be scary now, there is always a light in the darkness to move towards. 

GRACE GUMMER photographed by Christos Karantzolas for Schön! Magazine, Autumn-Winter 2017

How people treat you after you come out as trans is as if there was a murder and you are both the victim and the culprit.

Home Sweet Home

Sam checking on BB (✿◕‿◕)

"vote blue no matter who" rhetoric is there literal exact reason why there's no true leftist party in the US and why we've been steadily moving farther and farther right for fucking decades

1x01 “eps1.0_hellofriend.mov” | 1x07 "eps1.6_v1ew-s0urce.flv"

I'm an AMAB Trans girl and I'm wondering how to avoid voice dysphoria when I begin practicing? My voice (when I was in choir) was low in the base section if it helps.

Harper says:Hey there!First, I’ll signpost you to our dysphoria tips page, for general dealing with dysphoria tips, and our transfem voice page, and (a bit of a long shot here) a search I did about voice dysphoria on our blog.At first, it’ll be strange and you’ll probably sound a bit funny at the top of your range, so it’ll take you some time to get your footing, (I’m a casual learner and I’m still not really there). I think that’s probably the main thing you should keep in mind - either in terms of dealing with voice dysphoria, or in terms of just trying to embrace that shakiness and sometimes silliness as a bit of fun with it.With this in mind, if you haven’t started practicing raising the tone of your voice and you’re worried that it might induce dysphoria - give it a go first, it might not be as bad as you think!Also don’t forget about the other part of vocal training: intonation - learning the traditionally “feminine” inflections etc., of speech. This can be the best way of actually sounding “feminine” no matter how high or low your voice is. There are plenty of trans women and cis women with lovely deep voices (the model Dara hasn’t made any effort to heighten her voice and its lovely and deep and feminine) that sound womanly / feminine / all that jazz. (There’s a very popular post I think about a lot that comes to mind, deep voices in girls can be very well loved by some people!)Try to keep in mind that there’s no “correct” level, or “correct” voice to strive for. The voice you have right now is a woman’s voice! And also try to keep in mind that the more you practice, the easier things will become, it’s all about growing.Finally, I’d recommend representation. Listening to trans women talk is one of my great comforts in life. I don’t have a wide variety of sources but I’ll link here a brief list of the people I listen to/know about. If any other followers or mods have any other ideas that’d be grand!Shon Faye - Shon this Way (YouTube link)Paris Lees - Interview with James O’Brien (YT link)Merritt Kopas - Woodland Secrets (Podcast)Morgan M. Page - One from the Vaults (trans history podcast)Laura Jane Grace - from the band Against Me! (YT interview and song)