With How Fast She Turned On Him I 10000% Believe The TARDIS Was Playing Sutekh For A Fool The Whole Time,

The peaceful dragon had been pushed one time too many. Someone was about to discover that “peaceful” did not mean “harmless”.

Jinx Just Wants Attention

*Caitlyn, Ekko and Vi Uncover Jinx Operating a Giant Mechanical Beast*

Caitlyn: Wha-You?! You made this? Why?!

Jinx: Well…I. I just wanted attention.

Caitlyn: I still don't understand.

Jinx: Well, first I hootenannied up a biomechanical brain wave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick-shift with one of my braids and-

Ekko: Okay, yeah. But WHY did you do it?

Jinx: I wanted attention, I already explained that.

Vi: Why didn’t you just tell us you wanted attention.

Jinx: Well, making a giant death robot seemed a lot easier than being emotionally vulnerable to you guys; also, it’s kind of my thing. Like when Silco was 30 minutes late picking me up, so I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron or when Vi didn’t come to any of my birthdays-

Vi: I was in jail!

Jinx: - and I constructed an eighty-ton SHAME BOT THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE UNDERCITY!!

*Laughs like a maniac*

Jinx: Well, time to get back to work on my death ray!

Me anytime I see homoerotic subtext between two characters, whether is canon or not, and it becomes my current hyperfixation

Check your posture, gamers by Sealguy@Sealguy1

Rules for the Hazbin Hotel, authored by Vaggie:

1. No drugs.

2. No fights.

3. No pranks.

4. No problematic language.

5. No murder (OR TERRITORIAL GENOCIDE WHAT THE FUCK ANGEL)

6. No smuggling in of drugs. Not by sticking them up your ass. Or by hiding them in a pizza box. Or by slingshotting them to the roof. Or getting someone else to. Not at all.

7. No sexual rendezvous with outsiders in the hotel. No SHOWING sexual rendezvous with strangers to people of the hotel either.

8. Make sure the pig/future pets stay in the patron’s room. (This includes eggs!!)

9. No singing Limit singing to once twice per day

10. Stop flirting with the bartender Angel

11. Don’t call Husk “Husker” unless he allows it.

12. No harassing the staff at all. This includes asking who tops.

13. Don’t suggest anything sexual/romantic to Alastor unless you want your head cut off.

14. NO CUTTING OFF PEOPLE’S HEADS

15. NO EATING PEOPLE

16. NO MAKING CHARLIE CRY.

17. Don’t ask me to put my spear “inside you” Angel, what the fuck?

18. Don’t turn the interior of the hotel into a swamp?! Keep it contained in your room if you must!

19. No stabbing staff or residents. No matter how much they look like bugs! (OR IF THEYRE NAME IS ANGEL)

20. Don’t try and stab bugs if they’re within 10 feet of another demon.

21. Don’t call anyone a “bitch” OR TALK ABOUT HOW MY NAME SOUNDS LIKE “VAGINA”

22. Limit Niffty’s access to sharp objects.

23. NO DEALS ALASTOR

24. No drinking. Limit drinking at bar.

25. No mentioning the Stock Market Crash of 1929. For everyone’s benefit.

26. Don’t blow a hole in the wall.

27. Try to keep roast battles OUTSIDE the hotel. (Or stop picking fights?? Please Alastor I swear to God…)

28. No spying on the hotel for outside sources or putting technology that can be used against us.

29. No evil laughing in the middle of the night, what the fuck Alastor?

30. No building weapons/war machines.

31. No eggs! (Fine the eggs can stay.)

32. Someone please keep an eye on Niffty. (And the eggs.)

33. Stop touching people ANGEL.

34. Don’t make other people storm off HUSK.

35. Respect boundaries.

36a. If Angel looks like he’s about to pass out/cry don’t comment. Let him do his thing.

36b. Don’t try to talk to Angel if he’s on the phone with Valentino. Honestly don’t even mention his phone calls with Valentino.

37. Please don’t call Lucifer “Daddy”

38. Don’t turn into a 20 foot tall demon-eating creature unless absolutely necessary.

39. Don’t cause angry loan sharks to show up at the front door.

40. NO EXPLOSIONS!

41. Rule #2, “No fights” can be broken if the person you’re fighting is Valentino. Or Adam.

42. Don’t lie to your girlfriend or hide the fact you were secretly an angel.

43. DONT TALK ABOUT PEOPLE’S TITS (or lack of)

44. KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING A BEDROOM ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONE’S HAVING MAKEUP SEX

45. Don’t give people makeovers while they’re sleeping, ANGEL!

46. Don’t pretend to eat someone’s pet, ALASTOR

47. Don’t die.

48. I never want to hear the words “cum-plete” again.

49. STOP HAVING FIGHTS ACROSS THE BUILDING LUCIFER AND ALASTOR!!

50. If Charlie is passed out on the couch LET HER SLEEP

51. No making bombs in the hotel Cherri!

52. Stop breaking rules and then saying it’s “FOR SIR PENTIOUS!”

53. Angel don’t try to shoot someone if they break spaghetti.

54. Don’t break spaghetti. Or “ruin” Italian food. Whatever the fuck that means. This apparently includes pineapple on pizza.

55. Don’t mention Valentino unless Angel brings him up first.

56. Don’t comment on Angel and Husk’s flirting.

57. Only call Angel “Anthony” if things are serious (or if you’re Husk)

58. Don’t use any of the nicknames Husk and Angel use for each other. This includes but is not limited to: “Whiskers”, “Legs”, “Kitty”, “Webs”, “Tony”, “Love”, and “Baby.”

59. It’s better not to question whatever facts Husk gives about his past.

60. Family dinners at 6 pm unless you can’t make it due to prior obligation. Game nights after on Sundays.

61. No hunting people for sport and NO KNIFE MONOPOLY.

62. Don’t attach knives to a roomba so you can have a “boyfriend” Niffty.

63. Keep Niffty away from Roombas.

64. Alastor, treat people with decency. Really, it’s not that hard.

65. No making giant ducks that breathe fire to chase people around the hotel just because they call you short.

66. Therapy. Everyone.

67. DONT HAVE SEX ON THE BAR WHAT THE FUCK GUYS?!

68. If Valentino enters the property you have permission to stab him.

69. “Hell is forever” is bullshit. You guys aren’t. You can do this.

This is my magum opus so far

YouTube ver

Audio

Throwback to when I took painkillers and woke up with Photoshop open on my computer to this image I had made

need a scene where Charlie's visiting Carmilla looking to convince her into doing more active support, and Vaggie's in the background checking out a new angelic weapon drop, piping up occasionally like-

Vaggie: “This one's also fake”

Carmilla: “(sigh) I'll need to get an explanation for that.”

Vaggie: “Can i watch?”

Carmilla: “You can do the honors if you like.”

Charlie: “NO killing.”

Vaggie: “Aww sweetie of course no killing. We wanna see the weapon drops improve, not die off.”

Charlie: “Good! That’s good. Jussst checking.”

Carmilla: “A sharp spear and a mind for business. I can see why you made her your hotel manager.”

Charlie: “Oh she's a lot less stabby back at the hotel!”

Vaggie: (tries and fails to look like this is true)

Carmilla: "Really."

Charlie: “....She's, SLIGHTLY less stabby back at the hotel…?”

Vaggie: (Can'tEvenDenyIt.jpeg)

Carmilla: “Then I’m impressed you have any guests still living there.”

Charlie: “We’ve had some close calls.”

Vaggie: “HA! They wouldn’t have just been ‘close’ if I’d had a few of THESE bad boys on me.”

Charlie: "...."

Charllie: “… you know what? Maybe we should hold off on the whole weapons deal for now. Maybe we’re good on weapons.”

Vaggie: “Wh- but- Charlie!"

Carmilla: “Are you sure? You’ve been pushing for this deal all week.”

Vaggie: “Sweetie noooo, LOOK AT THIS THING! Think of the range I’d have- the blunt force trauma- the blood loss-”

Charlie: “I’m thinking one former exorcist in the hotel is weapons enough, actually.”

Vaggie: “-and I have WINGS again now! Can you imagine slinging a spiked ball and chain around while airborne-”

Carmilla: “Yes. I see your point.”

Vaggie, being lovely led out of the weapons storeroom by Charlie, making sad puppy eyes at all the angel slaying weapons she's leaving behind, hurriedly whispering "save the ball and chain for me Miss Carmine? please??" to a mildly amused Carmilla as she sees them out