A Little Guy On A Snowy Night

The list of regrets I totally have and am not just writing because Charlie is making me, Vagina Vaggie is glaring at me, and I want the free rent:

By Angel Dust, 3 time X-X-X award winner.

(Warning, there is some victim blaming in this. The abuse Angel faces from Val is not his fault, but given that I’m writing this from his perspective I figured it would be something he’d add.)

1. Writing this list

2. Verbally complaining about writing this list cause now Vagina wants to stab me.

3. Only taking half my usual hit before starting today.

4. Complaining about not being high enough.

5. Not hiding my drugs better

6. Not having more stashes of drugs

7. Calling TV superior to radio.

8. Not killing that snake before he had a chance to go to the hotel.

9. Not “trying hard enough” at this shitty hotel.

10. Being too close to roof so the CRAZY BITCH COULD THROW ME OFF OF IT.

11. Walking up the stairs with Pentious only to have to go IMMEDIATELY BACK DOWN.

12. Signing my deal with fucking Valentino. Seriously I’m a fucking idiot.

13. Even suggesting the idea that Charlie should come to the studio. She’s just going to get hurt.

14. Mouthing off to Val.

15. Not getting Charlie out of the hotel sooner

16. Being such a pathetic, dick sucking ho who isn’t good at anything beyond sex.

17. Not being able to take all of this.

18. Not acting well enough cause some this bitchass cat is seeing through me.

19. Ever offering that bitchass cat my services.

20. Pushing Husk’s boundaries

21. Not being my true self.

22. Acting for so long I don’t even really know who my true self is

23. Being a dick to Charlie

24. Being a dick to Husk

25. Being a dick to everyone

26. Putting my dick in a vacuum cleaner.

27. Calling Smiles a creepy dommy daddy.

28. Letting Niffty know about some of my more kinky films. She’s getting ideas…

29. Trying to play poker with Husk (and not even strip poker!)

30. Testing if my venom works on myself (it doesn’t and now I have pink bite marks)

31. Leaving what I used to clean my bites out because somehow Alastor found them and is now TEMPORARILY PARALYZED AND I DONT WANT HIM TO KILL ME WHEN HE CAN MOVE AGAIN.

32. Not answering Val’s texts.

33. Wearing boots. Seriously these things hurt sometimes.

34. Having ugly feet so I can’t NOT wear boots.

35. Tracking mud into the hotel

36. Mentioning sex around the Egg Bois because now I have to explain what it is.

37. Describing sex as something their boss “has never had,” it got back to Pentious and I’m scared.

38. Mentioning “Vox” anywhere in Alastor’s vicinity.

39. Agreeing to play Monopoly with Niffty. In general Monopoly sucks but Niffty likes to get knives involved?!?!

40. Getting addicted to drugs.

41. Getting caught in that alleyway by my BITCHASS brother.

42. Not trying harder for Molly.

43. Not saying goodbye.

44. Fucking overdosing.

45. Doing literally fucking nothing with my life and nothing with my death.

46. Taking the easy was out and doing whatever pops told me to

47. Yelling “FUCK” loudly in church that one time

48. Not teaching these people at the hotel how to FUCKING MAKE SPAGHETTI RIGHT?!

49. Getting high with Cherri.

50. Telling Val to “fuck off”

51. Flirting with that one cannibal guy because now they all seem to want to EAT ME (and not in the sexy way)

52. Leaving those pot brownies out. High cannibals, Egg Boiz, and Nifftys are terrifying.

53. Letting myself be named “Angel” because this makes shit too damn confusing plus I think Niffty wants to KILL ME?!

54. Not spending more time with these losers

55. Not opening myself up to Husk sooner.

56. Being too much of a coward to tell him how I feel.

57. Mentioning Pent has two dicks to Cherri cause she won’t stop asking about it.

58. Not doing enough to save Pentious.

59. Not telling him how much he means to me.

60. Trying to lift way more than I should have. Apparently six arms doesn’t mean I’m super strong.

61. Calling Niss a short motherfucker who nobody likes. I’m sorry, I’ll be better (and call him something even worse next time.)

62. Still being too much of a coward to tell Husk how I feel.

63. Flirting with Husk in Italian when he UNDERSTOOD ME THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME?!

64. Getting a room on the same side of the building as Alastor’s because he keeps laughing at 3 in the morning???

65. Kissing Husk in public. Val is mad.

66. Trying to even have a boyfriend with Val around. It’s stupid.

67. Calling yourself stupid for wanting to have a boyfriend.

68. Giving my boyfriend access to this list.

69. No regrets. Only 69. :D (Jesus Christ you’re a child.)

literary analysis is dead becuz u legit get people like “this character is a bad character because they made a decision or a mistake that resulted in a problem that must be repaired within the narrative” like yes Jennifer that’s called conflict and its integral to every story that exists ever.

these are fun looking

i don’t know who needs to hear this today but if you want a neutral character then make a legitimately neutral character.

no more chaotic neutral characters being like “yeah i know i’m chaotic neutral but i’m going to willing join an organization that doesn’t benefit me as much as i benefit them” they aren’t neutral. they’re good.

also no more “i’m a chaotic neutral so i’m going to cause death and destruction and ruin the lives of everyone” that’s evil, babes.

i mean truly neutral. truly “i’m doing this to serve me and the few people who have proven to stand by me. if you don’t do your part to help me and my cause, you aren’t someone i want in my life” neutral. truly “i don’t care what the higher ups said, killing this guy is what i set out to do and i’m going to so it” neutral. or even “my business hinges on this guy not talking shit so, despite what you or the law says, he’s not gonna be left in a state to talk shit” neutral.

this rant wasn’t prompted by anything but me seeing neutral characters not written or portrayed as truly neutral.

A long day’s light

comic doodles of @calchexxis ‘s fics!

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Angelic Steel: Chaggie

Charlie: Has anyone seen Vaggie?

Husk: I think she's out back in the shed.

Charlie: But... we don't have a shed.... (walks out back and sees a sizeable shed) WHEN DID WE GET A SHED?!?!

Husk: About a week ago when Vaggie had an epiphany to try a new hobby.

Charlie: Wait. Vaggie's trying a new hobby? AND SHE DIDN'T TELL ME?!?! (stomps over to the shed and rips open the doors, instantly getting blasted by heat that's hotter than Wrath itself) Vaggie!

Vaggie: (looks up from a forge, shirtless, blacksmith apron covering her front, and covered in sweat and some soot with her hair tied up in a messy bun) What's up, babe?

Charlie: (jaw drops as her eyes turn red and scour Vaggie's exposed skin) Wha...... *gulp* What... uh... what are you-?

Vaggie: (pulls a white hot rail of steel out of a handmade forge with a smile) I figured out how to make and forge angelic steel!

Charlie: (blushing as her tail sprouts and starts flicking back and forth like a cat) You're forged angelic steel~.....

Vaggie: Uh... Babe?

Charlie: I never realized how much I've wanted to make love to a sexy welder all my life~ (slides the shed door shut and starts prowling forward in demon mode)

Vaggie: (sweat drop) .....T-Technically... I'm a blacksmith.... SHIT!!! (drops the rod, cursing at herself when she hears the steel shatter, and runs for the backdoor of the shed)

Charlie: (gives chase) Where are you going, forge goddess?!~ I have a fire you can play with!~