Angelic Steel: Chaggie

Middle-aged magical girl.

She's been defending the Earth since the early 90s and she's very tired.

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

A hitman who advertises his services the way a commission artist does

I, Sir Pentious’s, List of Things to Build:

1. Matching PJs for the Eggies

2. Warmachine that will DESTROY the Radio Demon and get the attention of the Vees!

3. New warmachine after RADIO DEMON!!! broke the last one (Include updated death ray??)

4. Parachute built into hat

5. Advanced technology to spy on the hotel to impress Vox An “I’m sorry cake.”

6. Nest for me and eggs

7. New coat for the radio demon?

8. Cannon to protect me from a flying cat, tall slutty spider, and a tiny… bug? Cannon to PROTECT the flying cat, tall slutty spider, tiny bug, and close female friends that share a room together.

9. Portable elevator. Stairs suck.

10. Device to prevent me from being thrown off a roof again.

11. Armor against dismembered arms. Also Niffty?

12. Gaydar? Whatever that is, I’m currently unsure.

13. Thing to kill a roomba with knives.

14. Device to open bottles for Husk

15. Quiet door opener/unlocker

16. Shield so Vagatha doesn’t stab me when I go into her room in the middle of the night.

17. Way to remove pornographic images from my brain.

18. SAFE bug killer for Niffty? So less knives

19. Way to remove Valentino from this plane of existence.

20. A safe, loving family for Charlotte.

21. Cookies for the king!!

22. Mechanical duck to get in the king’s favor!

23. Way to fix Father-Daughter relationship? (They did this themselves nevermind)

24. Protection from Radio Demon??

25. Device to get the cat and spider to talk about their feelings so I can stop third wheeling.

26. New wall? Make it indestructible.

27. Flowers Chocolates A bomb for Cherri??

28. Way to break demonic contracts for Angel (and also Husk??)

29. Hangover cure.

30. Prosthetic wings for Vagatha (nevermind she has her own sometimes? Would she want ones for when she doesn’t??)

31. Reinforcements for the building

32. Battle armor for the Eggies

33. Angel killing bullets, bombs, knives, teeth?? And cards??

34. General uniform

35. A moat

36. Poem for Cherri?

37. Angel suggested I added “the courage to actually ask Cherri out,” which I must say is sadly accurate.

38. New egg bois? Or way to resurrect the old ones??

39. Evil but still angelic clothing??

40. Way to communicate with Hell

41. Gift to show affection for Cherri and let her know I’m alive.

42. Way to show memories from Hell for Emily and Molly to see (a device may already exist??)

43. Family reunion for Angel (Anthony??) and Molly.

44. A way to get back home.

I want to see another irken break into Zim’s base to try and find Zim’s weaknesses and/or kill him and instead find a bunch of objects that slowly reveal Zim’s past and just get weirder and weirder. It all takes place before Zim’s trial as well so things like the fact he worked with and was responsible for the death of Tallest Miyuki are completely unknown. So this irken is slowly going insane from learning weird facts about Zim’s past that get more outlandish as time goes on.

So it basically goes like this:

First object: Documents from Zim’s military training showing that he was promoted all the way to the rank of invader extremely fast, mostly due to his proficiency with explosives, incendiary devices and large vehicles. “Yeah that makes sense.“

Second object: An old labcoat from when Zim was a scientist. “That checks out, Zim did work as a scientist before he joined the military, so it makes sense that he would keep something as a souvenir.”

Third object: A PAK technician license that reveals that Zim was at some point, a fully licensed PAK technician and is still legally allowed to tamper with PAKs. “Kind of strange that Zim of all people was able to become a PAK technician, even stranger that he quit and became a scientist, which is lower in rank than a PAK technician, but not the weirdest thing ever.“

Fourth object: A letter that reveals that Zim was in line for a promotion to head scientist, recommended by Tallest Miyuki herself, dated a couple days before Miyuki’s death. “Definitely raises some questions, like why Miyuki would ever personally recommend Zim for anything and why Zim would ever join the military if he was going to be promoted to a high ranking scientific position. Maybe there were no other options. Maybe he was just a really good scientist.”

Fifth object: Proof that not only did Zim work directly with Tallest Miyuki, but was actually personally tutored by her in various sciences, technically making him Tallest Miyuki’s secret third apprentice. “This fact hits you like a metal chair to the back. It explains some things, but it also reveals that MIYUKI HAD A SECRET THIRD APPRENTICE AND THAT APPRENTICE WAS ZIM. And it only gets more insanity inducing when you think about how Miyuki’s other two apprentices are THE CURRENT TALLEST.”

her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

As the only member of your hero team who isn’t immortal, everyone else is having a hard time understanding why you think work conditions are bad.

You are Death. The last living thing has died. You've put the chairs on the tables, turned out the lights, and locked the universe behind you. Something whispers from behind the door.

You are the Chosen One. The Dark Overlord is currently trying to seduce you to their cause. To their great surprise, you accept almost immediately because you absolutely loathe your job and your companions.