Saw The New Dead Cells DLC Trailer And Realized That This Meme Had To Be Drawn

You are Death. The last living thing has died. You've put the chairs on the tables, turned out the lights, and locked the universe behind you. Something whispers from behind the door.

Tea time (toh mini comic)

Yep, I don’t have much to say about this one. Although, I apologize that the anatomy might be a bit rushed,,

ALSO: if you know anything about the kardashev scale and such then you maybe be confused a bit about how it is referred to in this comic. I made a clarification post to try to solve any problems: here

thank u @ckducky for drawing funny art of charlie's silly spear jealously and making THIS mental image pop into my head XD

Vaggie: "Thanks for doing this for us again, Ms. Rosie."

Rosie: "Oh my dear you know I'm just TICKLED PINK to help!"

Vaggie: "Well we really need it."

Charlie: "No we don't. I'm acting completely normally for this situation. I am being Totally Rational."

Vaggie: "Sweetie-

Charlie: "TOTALLY. RATIONAL."

Vaggie: "Charlie, you promised you'd be open minded about this...."

Charlie: "I am open! I just also know Rosie is going to AGREE with me on this!!"

Rosie: "Ohoho I suppose we'll see about that, won't we~?"

Rosie: "Now, why don't we put that spear away, hmm? And then the three of us can settling in for a nice long chat while you tell auntie Rosie all abut it!"

Vaggie: "Uh, actually. The spear has to stay."

Rosie: "Oh?"

Vaggie: "I'm kinda just dropping it off?"

Charlie: "Dropping IT off? Oh thanks Vaggie for coming alllllll this way- for the SPEAR."

Vaggie: "Them. I'm dropping THEM off."

Rosie: "... I'm afraid I don't quite follow? You came here for relationship advice, yes?"

Vaggie: "Right. Charlie's having relationships issues."

Charlie: "IT'S NOT AN ISSUE."

Rosie: "You mean, you and Charlie are having issues?"

Charlie: "THIS IS A NORMAL LEVEL OF FRUSTRATION!"

Vaggie: "No."

Charlie: "I'VE BEEN DEALING THIS THIS FOR Y E A R S AND HONESTLY I THINK I DESERVE A MEDAL FOR IT AT THIS POINT!!"

Rosie: "Charlie and... the spear?"

Charlie: "THAT BITCH!"

Vaggie: "Yeah."

Rosie: "I feel as though I understand even less. Isn't your spear-"

Vaggie: "Inanimate, yeah."

Charlie: "Oh don't let it fool you. It knows EXACTLY what it's doing-"

Charlie: "-SEE? SEE!! Look at it GLEAMING all SMUG in the sunlight, all nice and cozy where Vaggie so very CAREFULLY snuggled it into it's own chair-"

Vaggie: "Anyway thanks again Rosie for helping I gotta get back to the hotel."

Rosie: "I.... darling, I'm not sure this quite my...."

Vaggie: (ignores her) "I'll pick th- I'll pick CHARLIE up in an hour."

Rosie: "Wait-"

Vaggie: (smooching charlie's cheek) "Try to talk things out a bit, okay?"

Charlie: "Hmph! There's nothing TO talk about!"

Vaggie: "Okay. But venting to smeone might make you feel better?"

Charlie: "...maybe."

Vaggie: "Good. That's all I care about."

Charlie: (melting) "Yeah?"

Vaggie: "Yep~"

Charlie: "All you care about huh..." (sulking) "What about the spear."

Vaggie: "Literally just a spear, babe." (smooches her again) "Have fun with this, Rosie!"

Vaggie: (leaves)

Rosie: "......"

Charlie: "......"

The spear: (is a spear)

Rosie: "....right then! For this I think, tea will NOT be precisely what we need!" (pulls out a bottle) "One shot, or two?"

Charlie: "Did you know she RUBS that thing with OIL every night?"

Roise: (smiling and nodding) "Five shots it is then~"

Post Reveal Convo

YOR: “Ooh, I stopped counting after I got into the triple digits.”

MELINDA: “Oh… oh my. D-does your husband know?”

YOR: “He does! It took me a while to tell him the truth, though. These kinds of conversations can be so troublesome, after all. But it turns out, we have a very similar number of conquests!”

MELINDA: “Uh… you don’t say?”

YOR: “Yes! Isn’t that funny? Although, not to brag but lowers voice I have nearly a dozen more than him.”

MELINDA: “Er-“

YOR: “Similar levels of experience really do matter in situations like this, don’t you think? Loid and I are quite capable of handling all kinds of situations together! One-on-one is rarely an option with our lifestyle, so we’re quite used to handling multiple people at once. I prefer to get up close and personal, but Loid does love his toys. Especially projectiles.”

MELINDA: “Projectiles???”

YOR: “Oh yes! Not my preference, but I must admit they always leave such interesting splatter patterns.”

MELINDA: …

ALSO MELINDA: “Sooooo, I don’t suppose you and your husband are busy this Saturday night, huh?”

Spy X Family but its Bittersweet

I kinda just had a small idea on the lyrics "Woke up to Horrible. Pitiful. Fictional." But then it spiraled out of control. Okay get ready for this long plot au thingy:

Anya knows her family is a little more than dysfunctional, but nevertheless, they make it work, especially since Anya knows deep down, they do have real feelings for each other. In fact, as she lays with her parents, she thinks about her past and how those 'real' families that adopted her never felt as real as Loid and Yor. And then we get the montage of the Forger family getting together and having heartfelt moments until (and this is where i stray a bit from canon lmao) Anya is staring at the fireworks with Loid and reality comes back reminding her of the mission that is miraculously holding this family together. And I'd imagine its kinda daunting for a child to have that much pressure 'to save the world' despite Anya's happy go lucky view on it. However, Anya keeps on going to school and tries complete her part of the mission. But then she sees how much Damian's father does not care about him and it makes operation strix even harder on her, but she has to do it for world peace. Eventually Loid does meet up with Donovon and the mission is completed and he has to make he has to leave/fake his death. (I tried to imply this but basically Yor tries to be a single mother to Anya but having her well liked and successful husband leave her makes the neighbors sus and they end up accusing Yor of being a traitor causing her to leave Anya to once again be orphaned. Also side note, I love Yor, I think she's the glue to the Forger Family :D)

Best girl Becky basically forces her family to adopt Anya so now they're sisters and Anya can keep attending Eden. Anya eventually grows up and becomes imperial scholars with Becky, even becoming actual friends with Damian, Emile, and Ewen. Cue montage of them hanging out and bullying Damian with love. While out studying though, they steal some of Damian's hw and as they are making their great escape, she sees Eden is having a family picture thingy and hears the thoughts of a very familiar man. and Dun Dun Dun, its Loid in disguise with a new fake family for another mission.

Obviously Anya's heartbroken but then Damian comes to the rescue! In his mind, he sees the family picture day and thinks Anya is sad b/c of her lack of a family, but then he reminds her (that he also got a fucked up family lmao) and that they can create their own found family from their friend group. Nevertheless, Anya is cheered up and is finally coming to terms that she spent so long clinging to her vision of a perfect family and instead, she should appreciate the bonds that she makes as they come and go. No family is perfect afterall. And even though the Forger family is disbanded, she can still look back on those memories with fondness. As she sees Loid recognize Anya too, she tries to subtly give him closure so he knows his little girl is doing good and he can keep going making sure other little girls are saved and living the good life too.

And who knows, maybe in another life, Loid, Yor and Anya can actually spend the good life with each other.

Edit: I decided to make a sequel comic:

Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5 ( Index)

People are like “these animals have exoskeletons and these ones have endoskeletons” but no. It’s all exoskeletons, your exoskeleton is protecting your bone marrow which is where your soul (which is you) is. The rest of the stuff is extraneous decoration that Big Pharma wants you to think is important/

You are apparently the most powerful magical being of your time. But the thing is….you’re not. You spend the entire story trying to convince everyone that’s you’re not being humble, you’re genuinely not the person they’re looking for