Jude St. Francis Once Said:

i’d pay copious amounts of money to know what jude did on the day in rome he went off alone and what he was thinking and feeling

i will literally never shut up about Een Klein Leven but I'm doing a rewatch (again) and holy shit I will also never shut up about Ramsey Nasr's acting. The face he makes when Brother Puke tells him they're a couple now (yall know what i mean) is absolutely HEARTBREAKING

that is an EERILY childlike expression holy shit I'm about to throw something. he said 🥺

AND THEN THE FACE OF HEART SHATTERING ACCEPTANCE OF THE INEVITABLE

RAMSEY NASR WHEN I GET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a handsome man

moments from a little life

jb if he was given responsibility over titling the chapters:

A 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Life👅

Lispenard 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴

The 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴man👅

Vanities

Axiom of 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴s

The happy 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴s

Dear 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴👅

Lispenard 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 2

"I was raised Catholic," he began. "But you're not now?" the judge asked, frowning. "No," he said. He had worked for years to keep the apology out of his voice when he said this.

Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life

the parallels in this book make me insane but yk when Harold was talking w Liesl for the first time in sixteen years and discovered she had been doing the same thing he had, which was seeing Jacob’s essence in the faces of students or just passerbys in the street.

“Only to realize later that she had imagined they might be our son, alive and well and away from us, no longer ours, but walking freely through the world, unaware that we might have been searching for him all this time”

And then later on, after Jude’s death, Harold finds that in everything he sees, he sees him. He seeks his son’s face once again, finding comfort in the idea that he might be somewhere off in the world, walking free, without pain and without grief, but he is no longer his and Julia’s.

Was that the price that Harold and Julia paid to let Jude be freed? That he might be off somewhere else, no longer really Jude but something or someone else that does not carry the pain or grief that Jude carried with him? But in return, he would no longer be Harold and Julia’s? They would never be able to reach him again, but he is free now.

“And if a child can no longer be comforted, is it my job to give him permission to leave?”

one of the ways i am like jude st francis is that if there isn’t a lock on the door or i’m unable to close it i WILL have a panic attack😆

- a little life

dear god this book. this book is. i'm consuming it like i did with books back in third grade, back when life was just beginning to crumble and i was going down with it, back before i knew just how bad it could get. i'm devouring this book and it is so painful. it's speaking to me and it's making me cry.

me when “maybe he’s that grey cat that purrs everytime i reach my hand out to it”