Littlecigs - Out Of Body

I feel sick, you know

In my head, in my heart

My eyes are filled with little black stars

And my stomach churns

With a thousand words I'll never say

Ok y'all I admit that some situations are my fault and I did it to myself. Self sabotage goes crazy because I low-key don't think I deserve nice things.

I can beat my avoidant tendencies I just have to stay away from any situation in which I might become avoidant. Problem solved

It's like, I either feel an emotion stronger than I should, or I don't feel anything at all. And here's the thing, I feel happiness stronger than I should too, which essentially means I only feel happy when I'm euphoric, because regular happiness doesn't feel like anything. If it's there, it's exceptionally hard for me to identify it, and I end up just feeling sort of weird?

It makes me come off as unappreciative or disinterested even when I want or enjoy something, and I feel like it's something that needs to be talked about more.

I've had a lot of interactions where in the end the person I was with seemed uncomfortable, because I came off as cold or bored or annoyed, even though I was enjoying the interaction.

Just one of the many things that have caused me to miss out on life.

I want to be more than my disorders but I also want people to be aware of them and understand them and I find that people think I'm trying to push my problems onto them and force them to be sympathetic but like...

I don't need you to feel sorry for me I just want you to understand me. I just want to be respected...

I wish I felt connected to these people that I’ve known all my life but I don’t