Littlecigs - Out Of Body

If you’ve had a period of basically dissociating from a hard time of your life, you’ll know that doing even the littlest thing that has an effect in the real world vs on a screen can be so profound. Something as little as you doing a favor for someone, or someone noticing something about you that you didn’t think anyone would even pick up on bc your brain is all messed up about being perceived. Your living footprint is all muddied and murky. It takes a lot to even feel like you’re inhibiting your body. So consequences that come as a direct result of you just living, whether big or small, blow you away on an inexplicable level

High off the way you speak

Submerging me

Can't think, think, think

It's only you

Vulnerable

eyes a septic kind of green

skin a paper-colored sheen

that covers up all of the things

I don’t want you to see in me

I'll stop complaining. Who cares right?

I think I'm going to vomit actually yeah

BPD culture is I'd rather die than even feel abandoned.

I’m traumatized cause every time I wanted reassurance, clarification and to share my feelings it was perceived as trying to argue, shit has really turned me into a cold person