Gawd Just Stop With These Mouth Noises It Makes Me Wanna Slap You

This is my first post and a bit of a vent

I hate having crushes because I know that as a black girl I will always be viewed as too masculine unless I start preforming hyperfeminine and I’m generally unattractive and ugly regardless of what I do paired with more androgynous leaning features so I was never really viewed as a woman to begin with

~ Whitney Hanson

But what if… things work out, nothing bad happens, your hard work pays off, you get through this and prove yourself

I hate this fucking house.

Cis women don't even pass bro who gives a shit anymore

I feel like an old beaten up dog that is just wandering around looking for someone, anyone, to love me.

reblog if you think these are all valid reasons for a student or an employee to take a day off from their school or their job without their grades or paycheck being affected in any way:

- period cramps

- exhaustion, be it mental or physical

- depression, anxiety, and other mental health related issues

We need to start telling Black girls that they’re beautiful again I’m so fucking serious. Enough of the “average Black girl” bullshit and pretending to be positive while tearing yourselves(and other Black women) down. No, you are not average just because you don’t wear makeup or wigs or extensions and aren’t slim thick and don’t look like an IG baddie(no shade to IG baddies ofc, you do you!). The whole “well ya see saying all women are beautiful is misogynistic because it places beauty as our primary value as women” shit doesn’t apply to Black women and never has. Black women live in a society that insists on telling us that we’re not beautiful any time we try to be confident about ourselves and how we(naturally) look. So let’s not give them the satisfaction. All Black girls are beautiful. Lightskin, brownskin, darkskin, short, tall, skinny, fat, muscular, cis, trans, girly, tomboyish, short-haired and long-haired, no matter what you look like, if you are a Black girl, then you are beautiful by default! Period! 💅🏿

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

HAI IK I WONT GET ANY SOOO...

____ Amount of notes and ill.... (5 notes per person)

5: Clean my room :]

10: Eat 3 meals a day :/

20: Clean my closet TvT (SOBS)

30: Get enough sleep (10 hrs)

50: Let myself take breaks

100: Tell my mom I need a phycologist :] (She said she'll try and find me one :3)

300: Finnally write my story I've been planing

500: Throw away sh blades