Lostindifference - Why..?

It stresses me out that I don’t know who I am, who I want to be, what I want to do with my life, or who I want to surround myself with and when I do try to think about any of those things I have a crisis of some sort or just resort to the thought that nothing matters and life isn’t worth the suffering to stick around long enough to find out.

It’s important to remember that affirmations are not meant to be said just when you’re ready to believe them. We practice affirmations so that we can offer ourselves reminders of kindness and do our best to act on them. It’s okay if you can say “I deserve good things” but can’t believe it yet. The goal is to gently work yourself up until you can.

Me when I have to go to school

Sometimes I get scared I won’t see the day my life gets better, other time I wonder if i could even stay alive long enough to see it. I’m scared for my future and I barely see myself having one anyway. Do I really want to live long enough to find out anymore?

it's okay to be fat and like to eat. it's okay to be fat and enjoy cooking, baking, grilling, canning, drying or preparing foods. it's okay to be fat and work a restaurant or bakery and enjoy what you do. it's okay to be fat and not ashamed of eating in public. it's okay to be fat, but it's especially okay to be fat and have a positive relationship with food. people are supposed to enjoy eating, it's where we get our energy from, it's a very positive and nourishing experience for our bodies, it's okay if it's positive and nourishing to your mental health, too. fat people are allowed to eat, and we're allowed to enjoy doing it, too.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

So I work at a library and about a month ago I helped a little old woman who is legally blind figure out how to listen to our audiobooks on her tablet. We got to chatting and I mentioned that I always listen to audiobooks while I knit, which made her very excited and she told me all about the afghans she used to make when she could still see. She was so sweet and I was so glad to be able to help her figure out a way to still enjoy books without being able to read.

Yesterday I answered the phone at work and when I said my name the woman on the other line got so excited and said “Madeline?? You’re exactly who I wanted to talk to! This is Marie, you helped me about a month ago. How late are you working today?” It was her!! And about an hour later she and her husband showed up, and she was carrying a huge stack of old knitting patterns for me, and her husband brought in a few boxes full of yarn. They couldn’t stay long but I was so touched that she remembered me, and I struggled to not just flat out start crying when she handed me the patterns. When I looked through them later I realized it was her entire personal collection from over the years, including all her personal notes and drawings and even some photographs of her finished pieces. No one in my family knits, and to have someone pass on their legacy to me like that was incredibly moving.

This isn’t what I usually post here, but with life being especially dark lately I wanted to share a moment of happiness and a reminder that a bit of kindness goes a long way ♡