Lotusclouding - Lotusclouding

Lim Jisub as Jaewon | The Eighth Sense

{ for @heesulovebot }

our fates are entwined whether you like it or not you stupid bastard

hold me, dear

his ass is not listening btw

When I joined Engineering, for the first time, I found myself to be, academically, just an average person. Below average, in fact. With no other talent, academic prowess was my only source of pride - now even that was gone.

Predictably, when my first semester grades came, I rationalized that since the grades were not outstanding, it did not matter if they were decent or absolutely horrible. I call this an ‘all or nothing’ mindset.

As a result, I stopped caring and my grades kept slipping.

And all my sins are catching up when I'm having to apply for an internship or job interview. I'm having constant anxiety.

This all or nothing mindset is pure evil. This is why, when things are not going well, we totally give up instead of fighting to redeem whatever is possible. It is why we wait for the New Year to make resolutions instead of getting started the next day - ‘After all, since this year is imperfect, why bother at all?’

This is why we give up on our dreams when we suffer a setback. This mindset is just an excuse for procrastination.

Life is not a black and white choice between ‘perfect’ and ‘imperfect’; most of life is grayscale. We don’t have to be perfect - we just have to do the best we can, under the circumstances.

You already know what time it is!

Bonus

a 9 panel tribute to Princess Mononoke, one of my favorite movies in the world 

Can I just say that I love, LOVE that Jihyun told Jaewon he couldn’t kiss him while drunk?

Not only does he not want their second kiss to be a drunk one. He doesn’t want their second kiss to be ANOTHER drunk one. In his mind he still thinks Jaewon kissed him the first time cause he was drunk. Even though he accepted that Jaewon was attracted to him, he wanted their second kiss to be a present thing for both of them.

there's something so inherently queer in the way The Eighth Sense is being acted and ESPECIALLY in the way it's being filmed, and the cinematography and editing choices that keep taking my goddamn breath away.

the almost pain in the longing of short, broken glances to avoid being caught staring, the eyes darting over his whole face instead of lingering too long on his eyes or lips, the tentative broaching of conversation and testing of boundaries that only happens with that level of anxiety in a queer relationship

the constant fear of "what if he's not?" "what if i'm mistaken?" "what if i step too far?" which straight people rarely have to worry about, because at worst if you ask another straight person out you'll get meanly turned down, but if you're queer and you ask a straight person out the reaction could be SO bad, so you're scared and you're withholding but you're just WANTING

there are whole scenes where their friendship is clearly blooming and they both forget their sexualities and they're just having fun like they do with other people

and then there's always a moment where it THUDS back home again. the wetsuits. the showers. outside the bar. on the beach. where they're both so clearly HYPERAWARE of themselves and each other and feeling so exposed and so so scared but still desperate to be near each other

jaewon and jihyun are in parallel states of just YEARNING so badly that it makes my heart ache and my breath catch every time one of those scenes appears