Enough Of This "androids Who Dream Of Being Human" Shtick. More Androids Who Love Being Androids, And

I love messing with these annoying accounts

It’s five miles south of the Canadian border, twelve miles west of the state line. I’ve never seen so many trees in my life. As W.C. Fields would say, “I’d rather be here than Philadelphia.”

TWIN PEAKS: Pilot (1990) dir. David Lynch

Doctor calls you with your bloodwork results and just says “I’m really mad at you” and then hangs up

I’m literally on thr verge of tears

this girl at uni was dressed sooo gay and then i found out she's just straight with a lesbian mom. dykebaiting is not a victimless crime 😔

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf: so dinner tonight is kind of a deconstructed pasta bake

me: by deconstructed you mean

warlock gf: i eldritch blasted it

me: you eldritch blasted it

Love some miserable Elon in the morning