Top 3 Places To Bleed Out:

me: man i wish dodos still existed so i could eat one

brain: there are many extant species of pigeons and doves still

me: hmmm is it morally right to eat a dove

brain: the morality of eating meat is not affected by the beast it originates. the idea that certain meats are “wrong” to eat is a societal expectation

me: okay what diseases do pigeons carry

brain: some but with proper preparation and with a disease-free specimen you will be okay

me: what is stopping me from eating a dove

brain: your cowardice. you fear social rejection and dread the idea of judgement. but, those who judge you are just as biased and imperfect as you are. you must accept that this is an inevitable part of life, but it should not hold you back. you are in charge of your own destiny

me: okay lala ^_^ *googles “dove resippy” for 4 hours and salivates so hard it floods my room and i drown*

i love my son %appdata%

i'm not all that sentimental of a person (why would i travel to see things when google images exists) but i do believe looking up at the sky and seeing this firsthand could fix me

got emotional at work because i imagined a cuttlefish

everyone hate my loquacious swag. its always "why did you make this sentence so long" and "why do you use so many commas and em dashes" and never "how did you come up with run on sentence" or "writing that run on sentence looked fun"

Remembering when I went over to my female teacher's house in 5th grade and saw that she lived with another female teacher & went home going "wow, so teachers really do all live together!" & then my family had to explain to me what lesbians are

i had a dream i worked in an underwater restaurant and people kept ordering ice in their drinks and then getting mad at me when it would float away. and i’d tell them beforehand that the ice would float away & they’d be like lol no that’s not how it works just give me the ice. I’m fighting customer service battles never seen before

enough of this "androids who dream of being human" shtick. more androids who love being androids, and are lowkey sorry for humans bc that shit sounds exhausting

this website is too fucking easy you make a post about transgender gay sex or the skull and people black out and hit reblog