Dudes Get Divorced At 45 And Realize They Don't Know How To Cook Or Clean Or Do Taxes And Suddenly They

The Panthers used to ride around and follow the police.

So the cops would pull over some sorry black person, and get ready to rough him up, but then there were the Panthers right behind them. Watching, armed to the teeth, and citing legal statutes. It’s inspirational.

The true tumblr experience is simping for a drawn character (you don‘t even know the fandom of) I believe. ✨

Some more fashionshow art hehe

Suggestive art below the cut (if you click on this and complain, i warned you idk what to tell you-)

I‘m too tired to sleep

drew over something i wrote for a class and liked :] sorry the cars are lowkey ugly, its because I fucking hate cars and cant be bothered to learn what they look like beyond ominous hunks of metal

edit: transcript of the poem by itself under the cut

6 Tips for Crossing the Road

Look both ways

The road is for cars. 

Make sure to look for them before crossing. Even when you have the right of way, cars have a lot of safety features and you have none. 

Use designated crosswalks 

The road is for cars. 

So is the crosswalk but, under brief and temporary conditions, you can use it too! Never jaywalk, never walk in the road, just hope there is a clear and functional sidewalk. 

Cross at the light

The road is for cars. 

There are rules and signs for them, but that can only go so far. Walk quickly and hold your breath and hope that the light doesn't turn. Make eye contact with drivers as their cars teem with potential energy, rumbling with disdain at the inconvenience of your crossing. Try to ignore the cloud of exhaust that you are in and they are above. 

Leash your pets

The road is for cars. 

Obviously. 

To you, it may be natural to sacrifice so much space to them but to your dog, it is not. His instinct is to explore freely. You must curb it. Modern US car models have such high hoods that the average child, let alone dog, is obscured. Even on the sidewalk, hold the leash tight because the sidewalk (if you are so blessed) is next to the street and the threat still looms.

Look out for road kill

The road is for cars. 

And no one was there to leash the deer. 

Or the raccoon. 

Or the cat. 

Did you know that the most reliable sample method for wildlife in an area is looking at the roadkill? 

Remember these tips

The road is for cars. 

Cars are everywhere. In the city. In the suburbs. In the country. In the woods (the US Forest Service manages more roads than the entire Ministry of Transit in China.) Cars are everywhere because there are roads to bring them there, which is great if you are a car and want to get from place to place fast without worrying about the in-between. 

Unfortunately, you are not a car. 

You are an animal. 

You are in-between. 

So remember to look both ways. 

Hey, so it turns out we’ve been living with two gas leaks in our house for an unknown amount of time and we need to replace our entire furnace unit. There are people coming on Thursday to do it.

We are taking out a line of credit to get it done because for our safety we have to, but the interest is significant.

I feel like I’m asking for a miracle, but if I can sell 2000 ebooks or 500 audiobooks of Hunger Pangs through my Payhip, that would cover it. You can also gift people copies through Payhip gifting system or by donating to the donate pile so I can run giveaways.

Payhip

Joy Demorra

Joy is a Scottish international best-selling author, editor, and disability advocate currently manifesting in the American Midwest with her

The water heater still needs replaced but that leak has been addressed safely and is no longer slowly killing us.

If you like what I do and want to support me in other ways I have a Patreon and a Ko-fi. (You can ignore the 18+ warning that comes up on my Patreon, they’ve had me wrongly flagged as an adult content creator for years.)

Please, I cannot stress this enough do not give money you don’t have. Even sharing this and telling people about my books is a wonderful help. I’m just trying to alleviate some of the financial strain from Mothman.

I’m going to have a lie down now in a well-ventilated space. Maybe have a soothing scream first.

Wouldn‘t the ant disintegrate from air resistance tho? How far would you have to be away from the ant launcher 2000™ it to survive the resulting shockwave?

Shout out to the little girl at my store today who had a shirt that said "skeleton mouse" and she was carrying around a plushie of a rat, had hair clips in her hair that had rats on them, and a necklace with a rodent skull on it.

As I was checking her mother out at the register she pulled out a handful of rubber rats from her pocket and put them on my counter, to which her mother sighed and said "no sweetie, he doesn't need rats" to which I just looked at her like this

It’s funny how sacabambaspis is like the funniest looking animal in every hypothetical except for that one picture that makes me feel like I’m about to be killed

Still remember when there was a picture of a blind man attempting to cross the street and one of the options was „establish eye contact“ lmao

drivers ed is like:

what should you do while driving?

a) text on your phone

b) look at the road

c) cocaine

d) hit children with your car on purpose